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“Would you like to order something?” he asked when I turned back toward him.
“No, thanks. I think I’ll wait for her.”
“Sure thing. Sit anywhere you like.”
I grabbed a table in the corner, which offered an almost totally unobstructed view of the lake and pulled out my phone.
I’m here, I messaged her.
Then, after ten minutes,Are you far? :)
And after half an hour had passed,Natalie? Are you there?
I panicked. Why would she have stood me up? She seemed a little surprised to see me, sure, but she’d given me her number, and that had to count for something. Didn’t it? Otherwise, what was she playing at?
By 8:45p.m. I ignored my instincts and called her—being forward might be a faux pas, but so was showing up almost an hour late.
I called her number; without ringing, it went to voicemail. My stomach sank.
Did she block me?
“Hey, just a head’s up, we’re closing in fifteen minutes,” the barista called from behind the counter, and I nodded at him silently, before returning to my car.
As I got behind the wheel I wasn’t entirely sure where I was planning on going. I was preoccupied with Natalie’s absence, and what I might have done to contribute to it. Before I knew it I was turning from Avalon onto Elmhurst, and fifty yards before me stood the restaurant.
Before I could convince myself to let sleeping dogs lie, to go home and forget the whole thing had ever happened, I found myself in the same parking spot as the day before, unbuckling my seatbelt.What am I doing here?
I stepped into the restaurant, when suddenly I was assaulted by a wave of shame.Who am I, to show up unannounced like this, to demand Natalie’s attention?Realizing this reflected poorly on my character, I turned around and made my way toward the exit.
“Sir?” someone called from behind me, and I turned around. It was Halie, the waitress from the day before.
“Oh, I—hello again.” I laughed nervously.
“Back for more already?”
“Huh?” Then I realized she meant the food. “Oh—hmm, no, actually, I—” I gulped. “I was wondering if Natalie was still here.”
Halie cocked an eyebrow. “Natalie, huh…”Why was she smiling?“I’m ’fraid you missed her, she got off at five today. Why, did you want me to leave her a message?”
“No, that’s fine,” I said coldly, and turned to leave; behind me I heard Halie sigh, as if in shock.
I got into my car, no closer to resolution than I had been a day prior, when Natalie had agreed to meet me again; I turned off the radio and drove home, entangled in thought.
11
Tartar Sauce
Natalie
“Honey, I brought you fish sticks from work!” I called out as I stepped through the door.
“Yum!” yelled Sophie, jumping up from the sofa where she’d been diligently filling in the lines of her coloring book, and running across the room to hug me. “Thank you, Mommy!”
I squeezed Sophie in my arms, running my fingers through her hair as I held her.
Then I looked over at Jaida, a friend who watched after Sophie while I was at work, who was now getting up from the sofa and putting her purse around her shoulder.
“Thanks again, Jaida,” I told her. “I’m still waiting for my paycheck, but as soon as I get it.”
