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Although we’d had sex a handful of times since reconnecting, this was the first time we were doing it after declaring our love for each other, and everything felt amplified. When he kissed my neck, it was as though he were breathing energy into me, which in a matter of seconds was circulating all through me. I responded to him so naturally, as if my body had been created for his touch alone, and as he traced his fingers across my flesh I felt the trails they left behind. The foreplay felt so good, I was worried the sex would be anticlimactic, but it wasn’t. It was somehow more passionate, more intimate, than all of our previous encounters combined. As he entered me, I was fully overtaken by ecstasy. It felt like every pleasure receptor in me was responding to him, his touch, his kisses, his cock, his rhythm. I even began moaning out of pure delight—the first time in my life I didn’t have to fake it. His penis was magical, and I was under his spell. He made me come so many times I stopped counting. Then, once he came, we showered and went to bed, enlaced in each other’s arms.
His alarm went off around 5:30, and as I wasn’t in the state to walk home just then, Lucas gave me a ride to my parents’ house before heading to the airport. We said our goodbyes, “But only for now,” he reminded me, and parted ways, and quietly I slipped through the front door and into my bed, hoping to get a couple more hours of sleep before my afternoon shift at the restaurant.
But no sooner had I settled into bed than the anxious thoughts began assaulting me from every which way. What if Lucas wasn’t coming back and he’d just said that to make things easier? What if hedidhave intentions of coming back, but decided to stay in New York once he got there? After all, he’d mentioned some sort of personal connection to New York, and with his family’s company it made more sense than Minnesota. It was all possible, to the extent that I couldn’t disprove it, short of showing up in New York and spying on Lucas, which I knew was totally out of the question—both because it was wildly inappropriate and because I didn’t have the money to, even if I wanted to—but Lucas hadn’t even left Minnesota yet, and if I indulged this kind of anxiety I was in for a very miserable few weeks. And so I pushed the anxieties aside, and somehow managed to drift into a dreamless sleep.
My alarm went off at noon, and calmly I went about my routine—showering, putting on my uniform, making Sophie her lunch—before heading to work. When I arrived, I was happy to find the restaurant was less busy than usual. Admittedly I had a slight hangover from all the wine Lucas and I had drunk the night before. I was about to make my way to the back, to set down my things, when the manager intercepted me.
“Natalie,” he said, standing between me and my destination.
“Carlos.”
He looked into my eyes, briefly, before diverting his gaze. “Natalie, there’s someone here to see you.”
I paused. “To seeme?”
“I told her you weren’t in yet,” he continued, not acknowledging my comment. “But she insisted on waiting. She’s been sitting in the corner booth for the last hour.”
Quickly I glanced over to the booth in question. There she was, a woman with dark hair and piercing brown eyes, dressed in neutral colors, poking idly at a plate of fries. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite place her.
“Okay, I’ve got it from here. Thanks, Carlos.”
He nodded but didn’t respond. Instead, he turned around and walked away, shuffling awkwardly toward the kitchen.
I went to where the woman was sitting and slid into the booth across from her. I had thought to announce myself, or to wait for her to invite me, but realized that if she’d waited this long for me to arrive it was a given she wanted to chat with me.
Looking up from her fries, she noticed me. Her eyes widened, and she straightened her posture, wiping her fingers onto the napkin on her lap.
“Natalie!” she said, with an enthusiasm that sounded almost forced. Then, noticing the confusion in my eyes, she said, “Oh, how rude of me, we haven’t met. My name’s Isabella. Isabella Mendosa. I’m Lucas’s sister.”
I had been still as she spoke to me, but when she revealed who she was, my body just completely froze and for a second I even forgot how to breathe, I was caught so off guard. Then after the wave of shock abated, I laughed nervously. “Sorry, you caught me by surprise is all! It’s lovely to meet you. Lucas has said such wonderful things about you.” I smiled, extending my hand to her.
“I’m sure,” she replied, without reciprocating the motion. Reflexively I pulled my hand away, suddenly embarrassed. Then her expression became more serious. “Natalie, I came here to tell you something, but I just want to warn you, it might be upsetting.”
I felt a heaviness in my stomach, but nodded, nonetheless. “What… what is it?”
“Well, as you may know, Lucas and I used to be very close. And then we grew up and grew apart, as people do. He’s my brother, and I love him, I do, but I’m coming to you as a woman, Natalie.” Swiftly she pulled her phone from her pocket, setting it down on the table between us. “I feel like you deserve to know the truth, the whole truth.”
By then I was thoroughly confused. What could Lucas have possibly done that I didn’t already know about? We told each other everything, and from what he’d told me, it didn’t seem like his sister was privy to much of his personal life, despite what I’d told her, he almost never talked about her.
“Here,” she said, sliding her phone across the table. I pulled it in front of me, and was about to pick it up, when I registered what was on the screen. Looking back at me, in photo form, was Lucas, and he was with another woman.
“Her name is Lana,” she continued, seemingly oblivious to my reaction. “She and Lucas have been dating for almost two years now.” I looked up at her, utterly speechless. Her facial expression was ambiguous. “There are more photos if you don’t believe me,” she said, not quite looking me in the eye. I looked back at the phone, my hands now trembling, and swiped to the next photo. There they were, Lucas and Lana, strolling through a shopping mall. I scrolled again… the two of them, arms linked, walking down a sunny street, turning to enter an upscale boutique. I tried to scroll to the next photo, but physically couldn’t. It was too much, all of it.
“You can ask him about it,” Isabella said, filling the silence, “but I’m sure he’ll deny it. I just thought you should know.”
I allowed my hands to fall into my lap, where they squeezed at each other until my fingertips were a deep red. I couldn’t look her in the eyes. I concentrated on the half-eaten plate of fries, hoping this was all just a dream. “New York,” I muttered, not fully aware I had said anything.
“Huh? What about New York?”
I looked up at her, then. “He left for New York this morning… to help his friend with an emergency.”
Isabella shook her head knowingly. “Lana’s been staying in New York for the past few months, taking care of her parents. But maybe he’s really helping his friend, I mean, I’m sure he wouldn’t travel all that way to spend a couple days with her. Did he say when he’s coming back?”
I looked at my hands in my lap, feeling the hotness of my tears as they slid down my face. “No,” I said, almost choking on them.
“Oh, honey…” This time she extended her hand toward me, rubbing me on the shoulder. “I’m so sorry you had to find out this way. But at least now you know the truth.”
I don’t know what force or desire it was that compelled me, but in that moment, I needed to talk to Lucas. I needed to hear it from him. Until then, I couldn’t bring myself to accept any of it. Hurriedly I grabbed my phone from my purse.
