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“We are, but we’re leaving.” Rachel pushed past the young deputy.
“Make any headway on your sister’s case?” Dalton asked.
“We’re not sure.” Rachel said. “We’re heading to Colorado Springs to find out. I probably won’t be back here today.”
“I’ll let the sheriff know,” the deputy said. “Good luck.”
Griff hurried to get ahead of Rachel before she left the building, insisting on going first.
“What could possibly happen to me coming out of the sheriff’s office?” She shook her head.
“You never know,” he said. “Rather safe than sorry.”
Rachel allowed him to open her truck door for her, but she refused his hand when he offered to help her up into the truck. As she slipped past him, she was careful not to touch him and climbed unassisted into the passenger seat.
Griff wondered if she was mad at him for kissing her. She couldn’t be too mad, not considering how passionately she’d participated.
He closed her door and hurried around to get into the truck.
As he pulled out of the parking lot onto Main Street, a movement out of the corner of his eye made him glance her way in time to see her tongue sweep across her lips.
He didn’t say anything until they’d cleared the city limits and were well on their way through Ute Pass, heading toward Colorado Springs.
“Rachel, I’m—” he started.
“Don’t,” she said sharply.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t say you’re sorry for what happened back there,” she said.
He shook his head. “I wasn’t going to. I’m not in the least sorry for kissing you. If anything, I’m sorry it didn’t last longer.”
She raised her fingers to her lips. “Same.” Then she shook her head. “I just can’t.”
“Can’t what?”
She glanced out her side window, turning her face away from him, though her reflection was plain for him to see. “I don’t feel right moving on with my life when my sister’s was cut short.”
Griff understood all too well what Rachel was feeling. Survivor’s guilt. He’d lived while others had died. How could he go on when they couldn’t? For months, he’d wished he’d died with them. Every breath he took was weighted with the burden of guilt for living when he shouldn’t have.
His mental health therapist had helped him process his feelings. But time was what he’d needed and still needed to get past the pressure in his chest when he thought of the brothers he’d lost. Time would help fade the images of that burning helicopter consuming the lives of his friends.
“I can’t tell you how to feel,” he said. “I’ve won and lost in the fight with my own demons. What I know in my heart is that every one of my teammates wouldn’t have wanted me to give up or put my life on hold because they couldn’t live theirs. And I wouldn’t have expected them to quit living if I had been the one who’d died in that crash instead of them.”
“Lindsay wouldn’t have wanted me to put my life on hold. She lived every day of her life to the fullest. She’d want nothing less for me.” Rachel drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I just can’t move on without closure.”
“What if we don’t find her killer?” Griff asked.
She shook her head. “That’s not an option. I will find him, no matter how long it takes. In the meantime, I need to keep my head in the game.”
Griff’s lips twitched, but he hid the smile threatening to spread across his face. He liked that he’d shaken her, but he wasn’t happy that she was so conflicted about it. “Did our kiss pull you out of the game?”
“Yes.” Rachel lifted her chin. “I can’t regret it, but we can’t do it again. Not until we find Lindsay’s killer. He’s out there. Watching. If I lose focus, I could die, and he would get away to kill another.” Her jaw hardened. “I can’t let that happen. I don’t want anyone else to go through what I have because of my sister’s murderer.”
Griff reached across the console for her hand.
She hesitated for a second and then placed her hand in his. “We have to be focused.”
