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My chest lightened with his words. Something fluttered against my heart, or it could have been my heart. Nick held my stare and I knew for the first time that this was what true loyalty felt like.
It didn’t bail. It was true and grounded.
It was raw and hungry, just like this thing we shared between us…all of us.
“Then let’s get to work,” Tobias urged. “You go through the computer and I’m going through these damn books. Something has to be here, somewhere.”
Tobias stepped over to the bookshelf and grabbed the middle book on the shelf nearest his hand, tugging it free. The gold edged navy blue tome weighed down his hand. The look of disgust on his face grew as he flipped through the pages and dropped it to the floor. It hit with athump.Nick and Caleb stared, like that was sacrilegious, the breaking of a spell. Maybe it was…maybe I had a spell to break, too.
I moved toward another shelf and reached out.
“Not those, little mouse,” Tobias warned, stilling my hand. “Those are mom’s.”
I pulled my hand away, glancing at the few journals. The spines were creased and the covers were worn. I didn’t know why I hadn’t seen it before. The divide in books was so damn obvious. This section was small and messy, filled with journals and thick, softcover books, whereas the ones that Tobias had yanked free, only to flip through the pages and drop to the ground, were crisp and new almost.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
Book by book, Tobias pulled the bookshelves apart. We searched the rest of the day. Caleb grew frustrated searching the computer and traded places with Nick, only to yank open the drawers of Creed’s desk and search every space he could.
Thud.
“There’s nothing here,” Tobias growled, yanking another book from the shelf.
“Keep looking,” Caleb muttered.
Tobias yanked the next one free without even searching the pages.“There’s…nothing here.”
I bent, grabbed the book on statute law he'd dropped, and flicked through the pages, my fingers shaking.
“Then we damn well keep looking until we find something.” Caleb upended a drawer and knelt amidst the contents.
Tobias was right.
Deep down,I knew it. It was what I was afraid of.
“Fuck this!”Nick shoved the keyboard across the desk. My back ached as I shoved up to a stand, looking around at the desolation. We’d moved from one side of the study to the other, searching every book…all except the small section of their mom’s, left untouched.
There was nothing here.
Nick leaned forward, resting his head in his hands on the desk.
Silence.
Strained silence.
Underneath that, hope sounded like the scrape of screws coming undone.
“We need a break,” Caleb muttered.
I glanced out the window at the fading sunlight. We’d been searching most of the day with no breaks, no stopping, our frustrations growing by the hour.
“Food, shower, and we make a better plan,” Nick stated.
“I need to fuck or fight. I need…” He glanced my way, then winced. “Forget it.”
