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She'd betrayed him…
She'd betrayed my dad.
Tears came hard and fast, soaking into the pillow. I fisted the sheets and screamed.”I FUCKING HATE YOU!”
The words burned, ripping from the middle of my chest. But even as the heat of them pressed against my face, I knew they were a lie. I didn’t hate her. Icouldn’thate her, and that’s what hurt the most.
The light thud of footsteps came.
“Ryth,” mom called from the other side of the door.
“Go away!”
“Ryth, honey, I know this is hard for you to hear.”
She wouldn’t go away. No matter how tight my fists clenched and that burning pit inside me raged, she wouldn’t leave. Instead, the sound of her sobs came through the door. “You think this was easy for me? Your father and I haven’t been good for a very long time. But I stayed…I stayed for you.”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to hear this.
“Your father’s a bad man, Ryth. He’s done terrible things…dangerous things.Things that put us in danger…things that got our house burned down.”
I lifted my head, my breaths coming hard and brutal.
“We’restillin danger,” she whispered close to the door. “And this is me doing what I have to do. This is me protecting us.”
I shoved from the bed and stumbled, making my way to the door. I yanked it open, to find my mom’s tearstained, tortured expression. She took one look at me and burst into sobs again, stumbling forward to throw her arms around me. “Oh, Ryth. I wanted to tell you for so long. Ineededto tell you. But you were so young, and so innocent.”
Innocent.
Like I was last night?
My body clenched, the feel of his fingers still so real. I swallowed and held her, winding my arms around her and burying my head into her neck. She still smelled like mom, soft and warm and perfect.
“Mom…” I blubbered.
“I’m happy, Ryth.” She managed to stop crying, and pulled away to stare into my eyes. “For the first time in a very long time, I’m actually happy. I just need you to be happy for me.”
But how could I?
How could I, when just hours ago…she was married to my dad.
And unhappy….
Slick, warm tears slipped down my cheeks. My mind was at war. I knew they were always fighting, knew dad was always away. I knew the men dad worked for, dangerous men. The memory surfaced of that sleek black Rossi sedan driving past our house as it burned to the ground.
My pulse boomed as she stroked my hair. “I’m doing this for the both of us. I need you, Ry…I can’t do this on my own.”
Desperation swelled inside me as I met her tearstained gaze.
“Can you do that?” she whispered. “Can you please just try?”
Try with the feel of Tobias’ fingers inside me.
Not Tobias. Stepbrother.The word resounded inside me.
That thunder inside me grew as mom waited for an answer. I wanted to tell her about what had happened, but the desperation in her eyes stopped the words cold. “I’ll try, mom,” I answered. “I’ll try.”
She burst into tears again, with relief this time, yanking me hard against her chest. “I knew you would…I just knew it. I love you so much, honey.”
