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“You’re okay with that, right?” Mom asked as my phone wentbeep.
I didn’t answer, I couldn’t speak. My heart was in the back of my throat as I picked up my phone and stared at the message from Gio.Hey, just seeing if you’re still keen on our date?
“A date?” mom asked over my shoulder. “Gio, huh? Someone from school?”
I flinched and went to pull the phone away, but then I stopped. Gio…Gio could be my way out of this. I could use him, pretend he was my boyfriend. It’d give me time to figure this out. That’s all I needed. Time…to figure out what the fuck I was going to do. “Yeah,” I answered as I typed out a reply to him.I can’t tonight. Next time?
I waited for an answer.
Gio: Your mom?
I smiled and typed.Yeah. Hen’s night.He sent back a thumbs up, which made me wince. Christ, I hated those. Three little dots appeared when he started typing. I waited for the message as mom drained her glass behind me. “This is really nice, Clarissa.”
“Another, Mrs. Banks?” she asked as I still waited for Gio's reply.
“Sure,” Mom responded. “Why the hell not? I’m going to be Mrs. Goddamn Banks in a week.”
I stared at the screen as those dots scrolled over and over.Hurry the fuck up, Gio.
Then the dots faded, leaving me staring at an empty screen as the door to the bridal shop opened and a piercing female squeal sounded. “There you are!”
I winced at the sound and headed for the dressing rooms, swiping a glass of champagne from the tray as I went.
“Oh my God, this place issttuuunnnnning!”mom's new friend groaned.
I downed the champagne as I stepped into the dressing room, then I stopped and lifted my gaze. And as always, I found that ugly mark on my cheek…it wouldn’t matter how my life changed, that would always be the constant.
The one thing that reminded me exactly who I was…ugly…
My chest rose hard and fell even harder as the piercing shrieks from the showroom tore through my head.Honeymoon…why the fuck hadn’t I realized?I flinched, then stepped out of the dressing room. Mom didn’t even see me. Not anymore. I placed my empty glass on the tray and took two more. I’d barely touched a drink in my entire life. I'd sneaked a sip of dad’s Scotch when I was ten, then spent the next hour gagging and gasping from the burn. I swore I’d never touch alcohol again…but now…now I needed to not feel.
I drained a glass, then placed it back down, taking the second one into the dressing room as I shrugged off the pinned dress and put my own jeans and t-shirt back on.
“Honey,” mom called outside the dressing room. “Do me a favor and try this on, just for size. You need a party dress.”
She plopped a black strip of cloth over the door.
"Mom…no.”I stared at the thing.
“Just to get the sizing. You’re always wearing those ugly jeans. You’re a young woman now, Ryth, and Gio…well, you might like to go out sometime. Justsayin’.”
Who the fuck was this woman?
This wasn’t my mom. I lifted the glass and swallowed the slightly bitter swill. My head buzzed, moving my panic to the back. I put down the empty glass.Just for sizing.
“That’s right, honey,” mom answered.
I hadn’t even realized I'd spoken out loud. I grabbed the dress mom had hung over the door and tried to find the damn opening. The tiny cubicle swayed, making me slam my hand against the mirror to stop from falling. Laughter and giggles outside masked the thud, and for that I was grateful.
I tried to concentrate while my head spun, and tugged down the zipper. I slipped it on, working it over the revealing white lace bra and panties mom had made me wear. My gaze slipped down, finding the blush of my nipple through the almost sheer fabric, and I remembered Nick’s hands on me.
Heat flushed through me as thedingof the bridal shop door opening sounded. I tugged the dress up, black over white. The dress was tight, skintight. The thigh split gapped as I turned, looking at the gaping zipper.
“Show me,” mom urged as her friends erupted in a wave of giggles and chatter, drowning out everything else.
I opened the dressing room door and stepped out, and the room spun a little as I turned. “I don’t think I can wear this.”
“Of course you can,” mom answered slowly. “Ryth, you look…”
