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That’s what he saw me as. That’s how he controlled. He degraded, he used. He…he…he…
“Ryth?” Ben repeated.
It was too late now, too late to hide the truth, because the only people I needed protecting from seeing it were standing right here in this garage.
“We want to see it,” Caleb murmured. “Ryth, look at us…we want to see it.We haveto see it.”
I squeezed my eyes closed so damn tight my head trembled, until something inside mesnapped.I spun around, staring at each of them.I’ve never asked you for anything,I pleaded inside my head. Never so much as asked you for a goddamn thing and this is me…this is me—asking.
“We will always wonder,” Tobias whispered. “Always envision the worst. Is that the kind of future you’d want for us? Believe me…my own mind is a fucking beast.”
The way he said it, so quiet, so controlled. It tore something inside me. He was right. I knew he was right. The monster Tobias could create would tear him apart. It’d tearusapart. Could I allow that to happen? Could I allow what we had to just…tear itself apart?
“Send it,” I whispered. “Send them the recording.”
“Ryth…” Ben murmured.
“They need to know, so let them know.”
I couldn’t stand the silence, or thebeepwhen the notification came.
I was trapped between staying and going, nailed to the spot by the moment as Nick and Tobias moved closer and Caleb played the recording on his phone.“Stop! STOP! Get your fucking hands OFF me! GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS—NICK! NICK!! TOBIIIAAASSS! TOBIAS PLEASE…TOBIAS PLEASE! Tobias…Tobias please—You like that? Yeah, you fucking like that. Your cunt is so tight even after taking all three of them. Did they fuck you good? Ugh—did they finger your cunt like this? I’m going to fuck you…I’m going to fuck you until you see stars…Ryth! RYTH! The fuck…NO! He’s not to be harmed, by order of The Principal.”
I closed my eyes as it all played out. My fingers trembled as they touched my neck, still feeling his hands. When the recording went silent, I thought I’d never hear sound again. Apart from my heartbeat. That I heard.Thud…thud…thud…
“I take it back,” Tobias whispered. “I take it all back. There’s nothing that compares to that—”
“Ryth,” Nick called.
Tears came, slow and silent, stinging as they ran down my cheeks.
“Ryth, look at us.”
I lifted my gaze, finding my three stepbrothers staring at me. Sadness. Pain. That’s what waited.
Nick gave a small shake of his head. “I wish you’d told us.”
A hard chuff tore free. “Why? So you could look at me the way you’re looking at me now?”
“If I’d only been faster,” Caleb moaned. “If I’d only fought back.”
“But you didn’t, and I didn’t, and a million other things that could’ve changed what happened didn’t happen at all. Nothing happened. Nothing buthim.”
With those words, sadness left.
With those words came something else.
Something that started insideme.
Cracking.
Shattering.
Reforming once more.
I was a different person when I’d stepped out of that room. I knew it, had felt it. Like death and rebirth all at once. I undressed as a person, then slipped from my innocence, only I wasn’t reborn. I was…nothing.Empty. Hollow.Lost.When they told me Tobias was dead, I became even more lost, even emptier. Even more afraid.
I shifted my gaze to the man who held the phone.
