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CHAPTERONE
London
48 Berkeley Square.
“Ibeg your pardon,” Lucinda said, staring at one of her dearest friends—Theodosia, Duchess of Hartford, in surprise. Given Lucinda’s experience with matters of the world, she had not thought a spirited suggestion could have disposed of her senses in such a manner. “I do believe youarejesting, Theo. Or perhaps we are both tipsy?”
They had consumed several glasses of whisky as they sat in a somewhat disheveled state—their feet bare of shoes and stockings, hair unpinned and tumbling around their shoulders, on the sofas. They had been at their secret ladies club for the past few hours, forgoing a grand ball held by Countess Bancroft, in favor of an evening together, simply laughing, chatting, and getting away with being decidedly naughty.
Lucinda missed these get-togethers with one of her dearest friends with her whole heart. Since Theo had become the new Duchess of Hartford, she’d assumed many responsibilities that saw her more frequently away from the club activities. It had also been a long time since only Lucinda and Theo sat in the drawing room and enjoyed a conversation together.
“I cannot credit you would have the withal to be shocked about anything,” Theo said, with a light laugh. “You give some of the members of our wagers and wallflowers club themostscandalous of advice, and now that I have turned the favor to you, my dear, you really appear aghast! I am not tipsy, and I believe I gave you sound advice.”
Lucinda pinned her friend with a glare that she had to work to hold, lest she dissolved into laughter. “I havenevertold anyone to climb into a gentleman’s bed! Andthatis what you suggest I do, is it not?”
The glass on its way to Theo’s mouth was arrested, and the duchess pursed her lips. “Did you not assist Prue with advice to seduce her husband? After showing her a decidedly erotic book?”
Lucinda grinned. Only Theo knew that most of the advice she’d given Prudence at the time had come from conversations with fellow widowed friends, and even from some of the scandalous erotic literatures she read. “That is different from this situation, and I daresay you know it! You are suggesting I seduce the Earl of Raymore at a house party. I admit the keen attention he has paid me these last few weeks is flattering but acting in such a wanton manner is surely beyond the pale.”
“Only flattering?”
“Seduction is about knowing how to arouse a man’s body. Words she had given to Prue.Men are extraordinarily carnal creatures who like to be touched, kissed, petted, and stroked over their entire body. Sage advice that had helped Prue in securing her husband’s attentions. Yet Lucinda did not feel moved to act in such a manner with Lord Raymore. “I confess I find him amiable and pleasant company. I am not certain if he is the gentleman I would choose to be my lover.”
“But you do like him?”
Lucinda hesitated. “I do,” she said softly, feeling vexed with herself over her hesitancy. “I admire Lord Raymore, especially for his charitable endeavors. He is also not a rake about town, which I like. He is rather handsome and is thought of as an eligible catch amongst society’s darlings.”
Yet he did not rouse any fierce passion to beat inside her breast, and Lucinda feared that was the crux of her hesitancy. She’d already experienced bedding, and while the overall experience had been pleasant, it wasn’t the thrilling, wonderful ecstasy Theo and Prue said they found with their partners. Lucinda wondered if perhaps passion was not for everyone and if the secret ingredient was a grand kind of love because her friends were wonderfully in love with their husbands.
Theo’s golden-brown eyes twinkled with mischief. “It is also evident Lord Raymore is courting you, maybe for more than an affair?”
Alarm darted through Lucinda’s heart. “I dearly hope not! If he traverses down that path, I should have to disappoint his expectations.”
A small frown touched Theo’s brow. “But Lucinda—”
“You know I have no wish to marry again, Theo. I have been marriedtwiceand being a lady with my own fortune has marvelous advantages. I have been a widow for four and a half years, the mistress of my own home and fortune. It is not a freedom I would give up so easily.”Especially for tepid passion and bland conversation.Wincing at her uncharitable thoughts, Lucinda took a drink of her tea liberally laced with whisky before setting the cup down.
Theo settled her glass on the small walnut table with a clink and leaned back against the plush sofa with a sigh. “You are lonely, Lucy. I can see it, and it hurts my heart to see you filled with such melancholy.”
Those soft words pierced Lucinda’s chest, and a shaky breath left her. “What do I have to be lonely about? I have experienced life, and I have a freedom many wish to own but cannot. I insist that should be enough.”
“You act as if you are decrepit,” Theo said drily, rolling her eyes in an un-duchess-like fashion. “You have barely experienced life, my dear. Lucy, you are only eight and twenty and astonishingly beautiful. You do not need me to tell you that. Look at how many gentlemen about town vie for your attention.”
Lucinda waved an elegant hand, dismissing those words. “I amnotlonely, and I—” Her throat squeezed over the words, and she closed her eyes tightly, hating that one of her dearest friends saw through her carefully cultivated façade of contentment so effortlessly. Lucinda felt vulnerable and almost teary, and she loathed the feeling of uncertainty that quivered through her. She had found life a bit lonely these last few months, an ache for so much more haunting her sleep each night. A thing that shocked her, for she had been married twice and had thought those old dreams of romance, passion, happiness with laughter, and comfort had long gone after her second marriage to Viscount Darby had crumbled. Perhaps seeing so many of their members of 48 Berkeley Square recently married and so blissfully happy had stirred her heart with this aimless longing.
“Lucinda, I—”
“How can I justify feeling envy, Theo?” she asked, firming her lips as they trembled. “When I see how happy you are with your duke. And how happy Prue and Charity are in their marriages. I…”God. “I am not at all certain what it is I crave. I am not a woman to feel so undecided about anything, and it frustrates my heart.”
“Oh, Lucinda. It isnormalto yearn for more. It is not envy you feel but a keen dissatisfaction that follows you like a foul odor.”
She pursed her lips as she struggled to not laugh. “That was a ghastly and graphic description that fired my imagination. I shall picture a skunk following me wherever I go. Perhaps I might name it and treat it as a pet,” she laughed but it had a sad ring to it.
Theo’s eyes crinkled at the corner as she chuckled. “I do think you should consider my suggestion seriously. He is a man you can respect, and he is certainly handsome, he just needs a little encouragement. I think you will fit together well.”
Lucinda reposed on the sofa, leaning her head on the armrest, and scandalously tossing a leg over the sofa's backrest, letting it dangle as she stared up at the ceiling. “Seduce the Earl of Raymore. Have him as my lover and perhaps assuage this loneliness I feel.”
“Yes! Idareyou.”
