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Her spark of humor said she thought the entire matter ridiculous, and Alexander agreed. “It is unusual for a lady to perceive matrimony as a cage.”
She canted her head. “I agree. I had not thought so before until I experienced it and then experienced widowhood.”
She flushed and lowered her lashes as if she had not planned to admit that. So the lady also owned a romantic soul.
“Where your previous marriages love matches.”
Her eyes flew to his. “No. But they were…interesting and tolerable.”
There was a throb of hurt in her tone and she looked away toward the lake. “Why are you so averse to marriage given you have never experienced marriage?”
“I find I am wary of…long attachments,” he frankly admitted. “It is not something that troubles me, I am contented.”
* * *
Lucinda turnedover the earl’s word and his insouciance. “That is more unusual than a lady not wanting to marry! You’ve never had a mistress?”
He frowned. “I’ve had lovers and companionship, but nothing so defined as a mistress.”
“Unusual for a gentleman of your stature.”
His laugh was low. “I am not overly fond of such attachments. I did try to have a long-term lover once and it turned bitter.”
“Do you mind me asking why?”
Shadows flashed in his eyes. “She wanted more than I could give.”
“Your love?”
Alexander almost looked surprised at that. “Marriage, and I suppose in the mix of that there must be some sort of love. At the very beginning of our affair, I had made her known it was temporary. She said she wanted the same thing. Three months later I was a beast for using her affections with no intention to promise more.” He scoffed. “Women are contrary creatures. I damn well mean it when I say I only want a casual dalliance. Yet so far in my experience, at least four ladies have become angry when I have not committed to more, though they were of the same mind in the beginning. They truly defy logic.”
Lucinda wrinkled her nose. “I think perhaps your lovers also meant it. But as with the nature of growing closer with someone, a craving for more opened in their hearts, and perhaps they hoped that…that what you had together might be permanent.”
“What nonsense,” he said flatly. “Knowing my character should not change what she initially wanted, nor should it mean a lover then disrespects my wants and becomes angry that I am steadfast in my wishes. We were lovers, exchanging and sharing pleasure. A simple arrangement.”
She peered up at him, understanding his views. It was one of the reasons she had left town early to visit her parents. Lord Raymore had thought it necessary to remake his offer twice more, startling her. Lucinda had been polite in her rejection but had been baffled that he would simply ignore her desires. Somehow he believed he would be able to persuade her against the wishes in her heart merely because he wanted her.
“I do understand,” she said, sharing a brief understanding smile.
Woof woof.
At the heavy barking he turned around with a laugh, dropping to his knees as a massive dog rushed over to him. They hugged each other, and to her amazement the dog lifted his front paws to the earl’s shoulders.
“I missed you Thor. How did it go, did you find yourself a good mate?”
The dog wagged his tail and made a small whine of happiness. Lucinda choked on her laughter.
The earl stood and faced her with a lazy grin curving his mouth. “This is Thor. He was at a neighboring manor with my steward, selecting a mate.”
“Hello, Thor. A pleasure to meet you.”
Woof, woof, woof.
“That means he likes you. Most people get a grumpy snarl.”
His brother came over with the invitation for Alexander to meet Thor’s delightful and shaggy mate, ending their impromptu walk. Lucinda excused herself to find Rosamond.
As she walked away, she could feel the earl’s stare upon her shoulders, but she did not look behind her, far too aware of the pitter-patter of her heart and the pleasure she felt in spending time with him.
