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“It was, but we pulled together. William, Oscar, and I stayed close to our mother, never leaving her side. We grew closer as a family, and when our little hellion came into the world, we doted on her. I was in my last year at University, but I took every break and opportunity to travel back to Derbyshire to be with her. Whenever I am in town or away from the estate, she sends me letters almost daily. I share the good memories I have of him with her, and I think that it helps that I am an extraordinary replica of my father.”
“I could tell she loves you very much,” Lucinda said smiling, recalling the closeness of the siblings. That odd pang went through her heart once more, and she felt a keen ache for a larger family of her own. Her breath hitched at the awareness, and a shiver went through her body.
“Where did you go just now?”
“To dreams which I had long forgotten,” she confessed.
“Why did you forget them?”
Her heart jolted and started a fierce pounding.
He murmured, “You do not have to talk about it if it pains you.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, firming her lips that trembled. “I am an only child…and I imagined a large family for many years. Six children pitter-pattering around my feet.”
“Six!”
Lucinda chuckled. “Yes. I suppose throughout the years and two marriages, I simply let go of those yearnings. I have not thought of having my own children in…in years.”
“Because you have no wish to marry again,” he murmured.
Something complex squeezed tightly in her throat, and that conviction weakened alarmingly. It was on the tip of her tongue to confess that with the right inducement…like the promise of love, she might marry again, but something stilled her tongue. With a jolt, she realized his experiences with his lovers’ mercurial change of heart prevented her from talking about the emerging hunger. A smile touched her mouth when she realized if she were not careful during their affair, she might fall into the trap of his previous lovers.
His large hand settled over the curve of her belly. “Are you barren?”
There was no judgment in his tone, only a soft curiosity.
“I…do not think so. I…there was a time I believed I was with child. My first husband only came to my bed twice. My second husband…was my lover briefly before we wed, but shortly after our marriage, we became estranged and lived apart until his death.”
Alexander touched her hair, sifting his fingers through the strands and spreading it about her shoulders. “Would you like to tell me about it?”
“Perhaps one day,” she said on a delicate yawn, wary of visiting those trying times.
“Come here.” He fitted her head perfectly in the hollow between his neck and shoulders.
His lack of pressure for her story only enchanted her more. “Has anyone ever told you that you are wonderful, Alexander?”
“Of course,” he said with smug arrogance.
Impossible wretch. She smiled, closed her eyes, fell into a peaceful sleep, clasped protectively into his arms.
CHAPTERELEVEN
In the wee hours of the morning, Lucinda was naked and scandalously sprawled atop Alexander’s chest, laughing without an ounce of decorum. “I have never heard a more ridiculous joke.”
Alexander arched a brow. “The important thing is that you are laughing, and you, my sweet, have a most beautiful laugh that I will never tire of hearing.”
Her laughter trailed off, and she wriggled to sit up, leaning against his chest. “I have one for you.”
“Well, let me hear it,” he drawled.
“What would a countess hosting a grand ball on the moon be like?”
Alexander blinked. “Your joke is an outlandish question?”
She was struggling, mightily, not to laugh. “Yes.”
“Why would it even be possible to have a ball on the moon?”
