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CHAPTERSIXTEEN
Lucinda had made a grave mistake.
Inexplicably, she only formed that conclusion when she noted her belly's soft swelling and felt the sweet stirring of a child growing in her womb. A piercing certainty had filled her that Alexander should be a part of this experience, and it had been foolish for her to run.
It had taken a while for her to realize the fear had sat so heavy upon her heart because of how deeply she loved him. The worry that this love that felt so perfect would transform into regret and bitterness had simply been too much. And each night she went to bed in her small five-room cottage by the seaside, listening to the crashing waves as she fought to find sleep; she recalled every moment with Alexander with painful clarity.
He was patient. He was kind and considerate of others. He was a giving lover and a gentleman, not just a nobleman. He had great charm and elegance. She found everything about him desirable, just thinking of his handsome form made her feel a longing that burned within her. She missed everything about him, his company, his kisses, his silly jokes, the sound of his laughter and most of all his consideration for her when he made her sleep snuggled on his chest, listening to the slow even heartbeat that made her feel so safe and comforted. And in his eyes…surely that tenderness had been love. It had filled her with shame to know that she had ended their affair with a letter without giving him a chance to air his grievances or to convince her otherwise if he had so wished.
It seemed like a moment ago, and forever, the last time he'd made love to her—she missed him fiercely and endlessly. And even if he chose to not make an offer of marriage, he deserved to know he had a child coming into the world. He deserved to know her conviction on never remarrying had wavered the first night she had slept in his arms and felt the beginnings of love.
She called for a small valise to be packed and the carriage made ready. Dressing warmly in her coat, Lucinda went outside to lovingly tend to her gardens until her carriage came around. She needed a distraction from the nerves cascading through her, for she could not imagine how Alexander would react when she appeared on his doorstep.
* * *
His Lucinda struggledto stand on her feet in front of a small but beautifully tended garden. Alexander walked toward her, not disguising the crunch of his boots on the ground.
“Have you brought the shears, Mary,” she called without turning around. “I want to hurry and prune this bit before the carriage is brought around.”
Alexander stopped a mere scant inch from her. “Hello, Lucinda.”
Her body jerked in reaction, and then she froze. “Alexander?”
“Yes.”
“Oh God, what are you doing here?” she gasped, clenching her hands at her side. “How did you find me?”
“The duchess.”
“Oh!”
“Face me, Lucinda.”
A tremble coursed down her body. “I was so certain I could,” she said tearily. “But my feet won’t move, and my heart is pounding so. Why are you here? I was…I…”
Alexander lowered his head, inhaling her sweet womanly scent and feminine warmth that emanated from her skin. Her slim back stiffened, and her shoulders lifted on a ragged inhale.
“I got your letter.”
A shaky and very teary laugh escaped her. “That was three months ago, my lord.”
“It took me that long to find you,” he said gruffly. “After endless nights of missing you and longing for you.”
“Longing for me?”
“Yes.”
“Alexander, I—”
“I love you, Lucinda. More than I will ever be able to express. You bring pleasure, warmth and hope to my barren existence. Now we will go inside out of this cold, and you’ll tell me what the hell…” His throat closed over the words when she turned around, and his gaze lowered to her gently rounded but unmistakable pregnant belly. Shock and joy stole the breath from his lungs, and he lifted trembling fingers toward her but lowered them before touching that mound.
Alexander brushed a hand across her cheek tenderly. “You are with child.”
Her mouth trembled. “Yes.”
“My child! Your letter…it implied it was a false alarm.”
Tears pooled in her eyes. “I know. I was so foolishly afraid. I was coming to find you…to tell you…”
