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“I am good at pretending that I am sleeping. A skill learned from childhood.”
“Why in God’s name did you need to pretend?” he asked drily, unbelieving of her gall.
“I would often slip from my bed and creep down the stairs to read each night. It was my favorite pastime you see. Reading. In the pages of books I felt transported to another world and there was nothing I enjoyed as much. Mama would complain that I should be sleeping and would often check to ensure I was abed. I would pretend for several minutes until the house quietened then away I would go for my nightly adventure.”
“What age were you?”
“Eleven,” she said with a smile in her voice. “There were many adventures I missed out on because I was too afraid or too timid. I did not sneak to the lake with my brother or climb a tree or indulge in hide and go seek in the ruins with my cousins.”
“You are no longer shy though.”
Laughter pulsed from her. “At times I daresay I am, but I am more…decidedthan anything else.”
“Did you choose to be this…decided before or after Shuttleworth.”
Her breath hitched, and her fingers tightened on the blanket. “After. I was terribly frightened by his actions. He had been very charming and perhaps all young ladies dream of a suitor to delight them with courtship and entice us to fall in love.”
How rueful and whimsical she sounded.
“My shyness at times made me stutter and dread being asked to dance. Yet every ball I attended I dreamed of being asked to the floor foreverydance. Those who courted me did so for my wealth and did not truly care for me as a person. Then the viscount appeared, seeming to be different. He was certainly more solicitous and attentive than everyone else. After only a little over a week of knowing him, he suggested he would pay a call to my father. A part of me was thrilled, but a larger part skeptical. When I aired my doubt…he…he grabbed me and forced kisses on me. When I tried to get away, he painfully wrenched my arm and tore my dress. I was petrified. If not for footsteps approaching I have no notion of how far he would have taken his scheme. I do know he expected me to marry him because I was compromised.”
“The blackguard,” William said quietly, wishing he could break the viscount’s nose again.
“It was Theo who found me in the gardens sobbing piteously and whisked me away. We became friends and she taught me so much.”
“Like how to slam your fist into the face of libertines?”
Another laugh that stroked against his skin like honeyed heat.
“Yes. In knowing Theo and several other ladies, I shed my shyness to discover that there are so many ladies who share similar hopes and sentiments. I think back with incredulity that I had waited in that garden to be found and face ruin, instead of acting. My determination to be more daring and decisive was always there, but I think I feared censure. I outgrew that fear, and I would never allow another to direct my life’s desires again. Bold thinking, I know, but I still strive for it.”
“My sisters would like you, especially Elizabeth. Though she is soft spoken, it does not hide her fierceness, especially when it comes to defending those she loves.”
“Perhaps I shall meet them someday. When does Elizabeth come out?”
“Next season. She is already foolishly hoping to find some grand love with an earl or a duke.”
“You do not believe in love?”
“What is there to believe in? You either have the capacity to care for someone or you do not. It is also not a requirement for a good marriage or to enjoy one’s life to give it considerable import.”
Pippa was silent for a long time, and William did not rush to fill the space.
“I gather you have never fallen in love with a lady,” she murmured.
William glanced at the back of her head, noting how still she held herself. “No. Have you?”
“I do not believe I’ve been in love. However, I am certain I have experienced the beginning of it, William.”
She attempted to twist around to face him, and William prevented her with a firm grip on her hips. She stilled at his touch, and his fingers tightened on her body.
“Do not turn around,” he hissed, aware of how harshly foreboding he sounded. But it would be damn well better if he did not see her lovely face or the heated invitation that glowed in her eyes whenever she peered at him. His restraint around her was already tenuous, her closeness far too bloody intoxicating.
“Why not, my lord?”
The little minx’s voice was a purr of laughter…and satisfaction. Somehow she had sensed his want, and it damn well pleased her. William smiled at that, almost chuckling aloud.
“I know you want to kiss me,” she said with a sigh. “I can feel the tension in your body. We ladies at Berkeley Square discuss gentlemen enough for me to be sure my wonderful presence is tormenting you.”
