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Heading to the washroom, I began to shower and decided to stay as William for a bit. It felt odd to not be in such a form during the day time, a habit that would continue to play out until I didn't need to be a male anymore.
The thought made me laugh, because I wasn't sure if it was possible for me to be a woman twenty-four seven. Letting go of the male me worried me, which was a little stupid, but could you blame me?
Insecurities. Fucking stupid to deal with.
My time in the shower was a long one as I reminisced about things and scenarios that occurred recently with each of the guys from the Forbidden Pack. It felt as though I needed to go on some sort of mission to discover pieces of each of them.
To retrieve a piece of each so I felt some sort of further connection to them. I wondered if they felt the same, or wished to do similar. That may have been why Dimitris sent over flowers, which was totally "off" for someone like him.
He was the Wolf Alpha of his lethal crew. I was left in a bundle of curiosity, because he wasn't the affectionate type. As an Alpha, your duty was to make sure everyone was generally okay. I didn’t know what okay would be like for each of them, especially with how different they were personality-wise.
Dimitris was hard-core, serious, business-like, and gave off leader vibes all around. I'd bet he'd strain his poor little head if things didn't go his way, but the first set of qualities were what we shared.
Neo was so mysterious and yet the tranquility he carried with his inability to see was beyond inspiring. With my recent experience in the ring, I’d gotten a chance to get a sneak peek of what he endured all the time, which only left me more moved by his devotion to not let such a disability debilitate him. He painted works of art and somehow could kill anyone who tried to defy and hurt those important to him.
That was just something you didn’t see.
Saint seemed like the typical cool guy. The funny, high vibe, yet relaxed individual who tried not to worry much and lived life in a way that complemented him and his life purpose. I hoped to get a little bit of time to spend with him, to witness a little more of who he was behind the scenes as I got used to his and the others' company.
Jayce was the angry, serious, and bored type, and yet it fit him perfectly. Knowing a bit of his background helped me a lot. It awakened a side of the unknown I wished to adventure in, and though he didn't give me a huge amount of details of how he'd lasted, mateless after the ordeal with his mate, it was something I could understand just a little.
The feelings of loss and guilt, two of many emotions I could connect to.
It still amazed me that Onyx had given him "permission" to aid me during that intense time, that he'd been willing to let another man aid me sexually if it meant solving my problems of internal turmoil.
With Onyx being added to their pack, I wondered what that was like. It couldn't possibly be as simple as they were projecting it to be, especially with how complex Onyx was as a person in general.
Does Dimitris get Onyx? Or understand a bit of who he is deep down in the pits of himself that he hates showing anyone?
Onyx had been a bit more relaxed as of late, and his stalking tendencies had lessened quite a bit. Maybe there was something I was overlooking and only time would bring me the answers I needed for the endlessly flowing questions that piled up.
Finishing my long shower, I allowed my hair to drip on the mini towel I’d placed on my shoulders while I wrapped a white one around my waist.
Opening the glass sliding doors to my room, I expected to see Aurelia, but frowned when I noticed Dimitris sitting professionally at the island.
Professionally sitting. God. How do you professionally sit at an island like that?
It was my first time seeing him in something other than a suit or something overly fancy. He was wearing joggers and a simple -but branded -t-shirt that fit his frame perfectly. His hair was a little messier than his usual preference, but it made him look wild in a sexy way.
His eyes were glued to his phone for a moment before he lifted his head to acknowledge me. The way his eyebrow arched in question made a sly grin morph on my delicate lips as I rolled my eyes and walked towards the fridge for another beer I knew I'd need to remain relaxed.
"Where's Aurelia and when did you invite yourself in here?"
"She let me in, saying she's in charge of accepting deliveries," he muttered. "Acting as if I'm a damn package."
I actually chuckled, knowing damn well that was exactly what Aurelia was thinking.
Damn bestie.
Opening the beer for myself, I threw the opener back in the top drawer of where my other utensils were before I walked back to the fridge to open it up.
"Beer?"
"Water is fine."
"You have a meeting today?"
"No."
