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"Oh," I replied. "Then?"
"Are you okay?"
"Uh...ya?" I looked at my body that was practically healed thanks to Saint. I was wearing black tights and a black sports bra for the run, and my hair was in a ponytail. I even wrapped my hands with pink bandages like I was about to go into a fistfight, a habit of mine that I continued because I didn't like the bare feeling of not having some sort of fingerless gloves or fabric wraps around my hands when I was amidst activity.
Jayce looked at me again before he walked over to one of the tree trunks and picked up a black windbreaker before throwing it at me.
"We're about to run," I pointed out the obvious, but put the thing on to save time and a chance of an argument for disobeying his gesture.
"Didn’t want Onyx kicking my ass for underdressing you or Dimitris complaining that I let you run naked."
That had me rolling my eyes. "Fine. I'll wear it, not because I don’t want to see you get into shit, but because I'm excited to run," I concluded, but I could tell he knew I was lying.
"You sure you're okay?' he probed again.
"Why?"
"What happened today," he brought up. "Are you sure you don’t recall what happened when you fell off the building?"
"Pretty sure," I lied. "Why is it a big deal? Are they trying to use my testimony and make wolf shifters a threatening race or some shit?"
"No," he voiced as he observed me questioningly. "Did anyone tell you what happened from their perspective?"
"No?" I was a little confused at his question. "None of you guys were around."
"I was outside with Saint," he announced. "We went to lunch after you made your dramatic entrance and witnessed your fall."
"Who saved me, then?" I asked, already knowing the answer as the flaming wolf that raced to save me flashed before my eyes.
Ruby Phoenix.
"Couldn’t say," he admitted, which made me sigh.
"Let me guess? Wolf shifter business that doesn't pertain to me because I'm not a wolf," I concluded, and there was that bitterness at the end of my statement that only fought to bring me down mentally and emotionally.
"We’d say if we could," Jayce reasoned. "At least Dimitris is trying."
The words left me before I could stop them. "Why bother accepting me?"
His eyes landed on mine, but I was sure he could see the darkness in them as I hid the rest of my emotions. "What benefit is there for allowing me to sign that contract? I know my movement was swift and unexpected when I was fighting with my father, but any of you guys could have stopped me."
The words were basically flying out as a trickle of anger began to seep through my body.
"One day I feel like a part of your group and the next I'm an outcast who's only in for the benefit of this approaching deal. I got myself into this shit, but is this how it's always going to be? For me to know some shit, you need permission. What is this? The witch coven?"
He didn't answer, and I sighed. "You know how it feels to take one step forward and three steps back? That's exactly how I feel. I take a step forward into thinking this union of individuals can become a legacy NYC will witness with their very eyes, one that will go down in history. Then I'm left backtracking a step with the reminder I'm a human. Another step that reminds me that my life revolves around being something I'm not while wishing to be a part of a community that would never accept me as a woman anyways, and then a final step in realizing that I could never be on equal footing with you four."
I looked at the moon and narrowed my eyes at the pink, glowing circle that allowed this life of mine to come to pass. "Why is Mother Moon watching me go through this shit? It's as if all my prayers to be among the society all around me never reach her. Why is everyone else allowed to become what they crave, and yet I'm left in the dust as the overpowered female gender-changer with a few magic tricks up her sleeves. Might as well slap a triggered bipolar syndrome onto that list for all I care."
I’d never told them about my issues that led to the triggers and need for a magic boost from Aurelia, but I couldn’t care less as that boiling anger continued to grow.
"It all feels pointless and here I am, ready to go running with my fellow pack mates, and I'm sure they're dealing with shit that I can’t be a part of." My eyes locked on his. "That's why you're here, right? Basically to babysit me because this summoning requires wolves only, right?!"
He didn't even hide the truth as he slowly nodded, his expression as blank as a damn piece of printer paper, and it was a good decision on his part, or I would have smashed my fist into his pretty face.
Handsome fucker.
"Well, you can stay here," I announced. "I'm going home."
