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"Good," I replied. "My muscles are getting stiff. Don't want to lose my championship title because I've been sloppy."
"Try to relax and have fun tonight," he assured me. "I'll be back soon."
"Better," I whispered. "Stay safe for me."
"Yes, William," he quietly replied. "Don't get drunk."
He hung up the phone before I could insult him, and I sighed as I lowered my leg - my eyes noticing Saint, who was sitting cross-legged and watching me from beneath the desk.
"What are you still doing down there?" I pondered with a judgemental arched eyebrow.
"You have feelings for Viktor and yet you won't confront him about it?" Saint asked, ignoring my question entirely.
"Viktor knows my feelings, Saint," I whispered. "He isn't stupid."
"Then why is he so afraid to love you back?"
"I don't think he's afraid of loving me," I admitted and moved my chair closer so I could reach for my pen. I spun it between my fingers and placed my phone on the desk, then leaned back into the chair and thought about it.
"He fears the consequences loving me will bring," I finally answered.
"He's strong enough to counter those consequences," Saint replied.
"Maybe," I admitted. "Problem is, I'm unsure what he recalled from regaining his memories. Obviously Viktor has been an assassin in the past and has worked in Russia, and that’s before the cruel experiences he's dealt with, but who knows how deeply rooted his connection with the royal family was. Maybe he needs time to sort those things head-on and doesn’t want us worrying about it. Until he's ready, I can only continue to focus on everything else."
Lowering my gaze to him, I added, "Besides. I'm clearly not acknowledging what your feelings are."
"Hmm." he smiled. "Do you think you could handle dating every member of the Forbidden?"
His question was valid, but I still thought about it. "I kind of assumed that would be the case for some odd reason."
"Do you like me or Jayce?"
I needed a moment to look at him. "I'm attracted to your individual qualities," I answered carefully. "Compared to Neo and Dimitris, I feel like I enjoy your personalities and want to get to know a deeper aspect of both of you before venturing into the realms of romance."
"Because?"
"I don't want you thinking I'm dating the four of you for sexual lust?" I wasn't even sure. "The option of dating and relationships wasn’t something I grew up acknowledging and working towards. My relationship with Onyx was out of...irony and shared pain, loneliness and the connection to one another because we were so damn similar. We were each other's strength, even when forced to destroy whatever brewed between us because of Roberto's order."
I was sure he knew what I was talking about, and it was confirmed in his eyes that softened a little bit. "Everything was done to tear us apart, but somehow we just got closer. We worked on our hidden wounds, using each other as strength to build a stronger foundation, build a wall that wouldn't be destroyed by an outsider who knew nothing of our shared past. You hear about relationships, dating, the three-date rule, all the bullshit that honestly doesn't apply to the way wolf shifters sometimes come to love one another."
I lifted my head to look up at the ceiling, my pen spinning between my fingers as I got lost in my spoken thoughts. "To me, love is based on the intense attraction you carry for another on two different levels. My relationships with Onyx, Neo, and even Dimitris are ones of lust with a hint of curiosity. Neo and Dimitris push me to be bold. Competitive. Defiant in nature while there's a desire of passion that begs to be tamed. Compared to you, Jayce, and even Viktor, there's that side that yearns for connection. To learn about each of you, the pasts you've endured, and the personalities you carry in the form of your expressions. You're always playful with smiles, Jayce is normally angry or calculating, and Viktor is serious with that aura of mystery. With you three, I want to learn more with the option of unraveling the truths to each of you, and that will bring us closer."
Lowering my head, I noticed how intensely he listened to every word while his attention was on me.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that, truthfully, I can see myself dating each of you, but it'll probably take me time. Moments to get lost in the sexual tension and passion, while other times we’ll enjoy shared opportunities. I have nothing against us kissing or doing stuff in between, and if something leads to sex, so be it. I feel like Dimitris, our current Alpha, knows that I'm comfortable with everyone in the pack so...maybe that just spreads through the bond in a way."
"So if I was interested in dating you in my unique way, you'd be up for it?"
"Unique way?" I inquired but quirked up a smile. "Ya. I'm up for anything as long as it doesn't land me on the murder block. I don't think my mates would like that and I doubt we want to see Dimitris pop a vessel or two."
Saint chuckled. "Ya. Angry Dimitris is a bit lethal to those on the receiving end."
"He doesn't seem very dangerous," I admitted.
Saint's smile faded as he met my curious eyes. "Out of all of us, Dimitris is actually the most dangerous."
I moved to put my elbows on the desk while lowering my head like I was running my hand through my pink to white locks. My eyes were still focused on Saint's, who was shadowed by my figure.
