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"As long as he's not lonely," I whispered as my eyes met Saint's. "I don't want him to feel alone."
Saint smiled slightly and lifted my hand so he could softly kiss my palm.
"I'll switch places with him. Maybe you guys can go out for dinner?"
"That...would be really nice," I admitted. After a long day of work, I was famished and though the coffee order would keep my engine running, some good food would hit the spot.
"Let me get on my way."
He was going to get up, but I stopped him. "Saint?"
"Yes, Willow."
"Are you...okay with being my mate?" I couldn't help but ask because it had happened so swiftly, and I could barely remember the interaction to validate how he felt about the whole thing.
"I feel honored," he admitted, which was surprising.
"Honored?" I didn't understand why.
The way he smiled this time around didn't even show a glimpse of happiness in his eyes.
“I used to have a mate," he confessed. "Long ago. I was younger then. See...I was an orphan for as long as I can remember. I was taken into the church and raised there because of what I was. Those of the church love to project themselves as holy and doing good for the world, but there are a lot of demonic things that happen behind those stained-glass windows, and that was why they needed me."
He paused to turn my hand around so he could look at the branded mark.
"My mate arrived at the church out of the blue. She came to confess about some stuff and I'd been doing some of my duties at the time and well...boom. It clicked in. I sometimes wish it never happened within the church, but who was I to judge what Mother Moon had in store," he admitted with a slight shrug. "Long story short, the church began to use her. Like bribery. If I did this for them, I could go on dates with her with enough money, proper clothes, and even spend the night. It was the first time I’d been given the freedom to roam around without someone breathing down my neck. To the church, I was their precious, hidden secret, but I felt like my mate was the one person I could confide in. A person I could rely on and share a glimpse of what I saw behind the scenes. In the end, I found her enjoying a threesome in the confessional box."
Any supportive words I had in my mind literally faded away as anger boiled inside me.
"What?" I gasped.
"Ya." He chuckled, but it was one of those sad sounds that made it feel as though he'd break down and cry at any moment. "It fucking sucked. Was New Year's Eve, actually. I was hoping to spend the night with her through the new year. Made it all special by booking a hotel and decorating the inside with flowers and stuff. Walking into that...it broke me."
He lifted his head to stare up at me, his voice barely audible.
"When I say I was their little secret...I was a dirty one. One they used when they had to relieve themselves from the stress. You get it, right?"
It clicked, and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I slowly nodded.
"That's why...you're good at that," I muttered.
He smirked and bobbed his head. "You become a pro when you do it enough times, but I had a period after escaping all that shit when I debated whether I liked girls or boys. Guess I never really cared, honestly."
He looked to the window as the words left him.
"I just wanted someone to love. Someone...to see me, and I guess my own mate wasn't enough to do that."
"What happened?" I asked.
"I walked out," he admitted. "I went to that hotel, enjoyed a calming bath with the rose petals, and drank the champagne. I cried my eyes out right before the new year, and then...I engulfed the hotel room in flames."
He looked back to see my reaction, but I remained calm as I thought about it.
"Good way to let the old be gone and bring new blessings into your life," I suggested.
He laughed a genuine laugh that helped the tension of the conversation ease a little.
"That was actually the day I met Dimitris and Neo. Guess the headline of black flames burning down the penthouse was enough to land me this 'job'. It felt like a job at the time, but obviously, we ended up being a tight-knit group."
