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"I wish that instead of feeling weak around the fellow members of the Pack House, I'd feel strong in my feminine element. That I wouldn't mentally wish to project myself as powerful based on my ability to be William."
Another press.
"I hate how I made William out of a coping mechanism and not because having another side of myself made me feel more empowered when I returned to my female counterpart."
Another press.
"I hate that so many of my insecurities revolve around my scars, even though I project to the world how proud I am to have them on my flesh."
I kept on letting them out, one after another, as I pressed random buttons until it felt like I'd surely gotten every possible color in the color scale. I was out of breath, and I couldn't fathom how much energy this took out of me while tears began to sprout in my eyes as I looked at Neo.
"I wish I still didn't fear that...my body isn't enough for my mates.” My words were barely a whisper. "That I didn't fear finally being seen a flawed masterpiece because of all the inconsistencies the world has delivered to me."
I swallowed the lump in my throat as my tears fell. "I'm...frightened of my inability to embrace my sexuality as a female in a world that has pressured me to be a man...that I'll never be adequate enough to be loved not just for my body...but for the little qualities, the fine details that get overlooked by my fierce protectiveness that I project to the world so I can shield my vulnerable self."
I clicked the button again, my hand trembling as I was lost in Neo's figure. It was clear he could hear every word.
"Deep within...I fear to be loved...wholeheartedly...because I've never allowed myself to be loved. No matter the words, or the flings, or the intense sex...I...I always fear that my inability to accept love...will project that I don't deserve it and that I have to fight for that affection. I have to use my body to grasp that passion and lustful attention. Without the sight...of my imperfect self...I'll never be able to capture one's desire to simply love me for me."
That was the deepest confession I'd ever allowed myself to acknowledge, and it came out into the glass box for the world to absorb - for Neo's ears to grasp.
I pressed the button and a "ding" noise went off. The center ring that held the strings of hanging glass balls began to rotate, but my eyes were on Neo as he entered the space, closed the door, and walked over to me until he was grasping my cheeks and kissing me with such intensity I couldn't focus on anything else.
The remote fell but it was nonexistent in this bubble of emotion. I was overtaken by the senses that flooded every part of my mind, body, and soul - all of them coming from Neo.
He let me feel his pain, the agony, the intense hurt, and the immense desire for revenge that he carried for those who made his life of loss and power even more difficult. Then there were those raw insecurities that held similarities to mine.
His desire to be seen as a threat, but because of his disability, being mocked and undervalued. His loss of sight left layers of uncertainty about how someone would love him, cherish him, value his worth and the talents he carried. He even struggled with his own masculinity.
He didn't carry the muscle mass the others did and was perceived as weak from the comments and words people tossed at him, but I could feel the brutal pain he carried. It revolved around exactly what I feared the most.
To never be worthy of being loved because within ourselves, we'd never allowed ourselves to open that deep, dark door, and allow another stranger in.
Until now.
When the first drops of paint hit us like spinning rain, I couldn't care less as my body was on autopilot. He clearly didn't care about the onslaught of paint hitting us because his mouth descended upon mine and swallowed every moan and gasp that left my throat.
All these swirling emotions from the inside and the pleasurable touch of his hands moving across my glazed body only heightened things further as the pellets of paint covered us from head to toe, but it didn't matter.
In this glass box, drenched in paint, we were the same. We were ready to unravel each other in this unknown process of healing. We were going to allow one another to be loved in this very moment, and nothing would extinguish this flame of overflowing desire.
We kissed hard, our breaths uncontrollable pants, and before long, Neo was laying me on the floor and stripping right out of his drenched pants and boxers. He tossed them away so quickly, they surely flew across the room in a blink, but it didn't matter because he was back, on his knees, and had his head between my legs before I could think straight.
He lapped up the layer of arousal already present before his tongue dived right in. I'd never thought about how long Neo's tongue was but fuck, with the deep lengths he was reaching, I was beginning to question if he had mutation powers, because he was hitting the perfect spot while devouring more of my wetness until I was whimpering.
"Neo!" I cried out when my release washed over me, but this was just the beginning because he figured out a way to clean his fingers while keeping me clearly occupied because they were now gliding into my quivering pussy and working their way to slowly building my arousal once more.
He was hitting the perfect place that stroked my g-spot, and my mind was blown away because this angle was something I'd never experienced before. He didn't need to move fast –no, he was purposely moving at a snail's pace -just to emphasize every single inch of movement that was sending me into pools of ecstasy before I could mentally grasp it.
My heavy panting was mixed with high-pitched moans as my body shook with every orgasm that rushed through me. I was beginning to struggle with damn words.
And I'd yet to enjoy his cock.
"Neo." I was literally begging him because I didn't think I'd survive another round of finger-and-tongue mayhem. From his chuckle that tickled my clit with his panting breath, he fucking knew it.
"I'll be nice today, Sweetness," he reasoned. Suddenly, there was the head of his cock as it began to glide up and down along my entrance, clearly gathering my wetness to coat his large rod. A slight peek with the lift of my head showed me a glimpse of his veiny thickness that was hard and totally ready for what was to come.
I couldn't help but lick my lips as if I were about to suck that bad boy like a frozen popsicle, but Neo purposely leaned in and kissed me long and hard. I could taste myself on his lips and in the hollows of his mouth, but it was the bubbling emotions thrumming within our bond that made this moment completely special.
