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I wondered if they were waiting for me to break down or lose my shit with everything that had occurred, but I didn’t feel like I was on the brink of chaos like when I’d been training with Viktor before the ambush.
To be honest, I felt rather calm. Not necessarily balanced, but I guessed finding out that my whole life of being an outcast in my own community was the ultimate test I needed to pass to land myself into the highest position others spent their whole lives trying to achieve.
One of those individuals being Aurelia.
We’d yet to confront that topic because she’d left the mountain to deal with the madness happening in the witch community. Obviously, this apparent betrayal was a big fucking deal in the Coven since they’d laid out the damn grid to ensure this being didn’t escape from their clutches, but I wouldn’t deny what my gut was predicting.
All of this is a fucking gimmick that even my best friend is unaware of.
At least Aurelia was willing to fill my pill containers here before going to wherever she needed to go to deal with her side of craziness. Her note briefly explained that she was meeting with her pack to deal with the aftermath and she’d return to give a new medical plan, but I worried things would get too much for her to be worrying about me.
Milo admitted that he was good at creating medicine that aided with balancing shifters with multiple personality disorders, and Saint said he’d be down to assist to ensure nothing would have any adverse effects.
I didn’t know how they were so confident nothing would happen, but he said it was something to do with our bond and him being able to deeply understand my chemical makeup. It would give Milo the perfect blueprint to making me a set of meds that would enable me to balance between William and Willow without me going insane.
As for Willa’s presence, I didn’t think any of them were concerned about her. At least I wasn’t since her arrival and departure never really made me feel “off” or had any negative impact other than feeling tired.
If it ended up being something like Neo and Nico’s arrangement, I could make do with that.
Being a little crazy brings some new light into our fucked-up routine called life.
The only problem I really had was taking Aurelia’s role of making my meds. With the recent circumstances, it made sense as to why my men were being protective psychos and were willing to make my meds from scratch if it meant they were in control of making sure I was emotionally and mentally sane.
I guess my spiraling moment that led to being suicidal frightened all of them, and it was something they didn’t want to repeat.
Without Aurelia doing my meds, what would be my excuse for having her over more often?
I was beginning to realize that was my lingering fear in regard to switching up my medication routine. It wasn’t about trying new things; it was about acknowledging that my best friend and I were drifting apart. By removing the one thing that kept us in contact with one another on the regular, we’d end up walking further away from one another on a distant bridge.
A bridge that would extend longer and longer until neither of us would have enough energy to trek across it to meet in the middle.
I knew my friendship shouldn’t be considered a priority in these crazy times of mayhem, but to me, it was. Our connection always meant the world to me, and now with its growing absence and the pile of complications our new set of packs were brewing, it was becoming clear that my bestie and I would drift apart whether we liked it or not.
Maybe it’s okay to drift…but what would that cost us?
There it was. The true reason for my uncertainty. If I took away her control of doing my meds due to the recent events and my men’s fear of a repeat of circumstances, would we go from friends to enemies?
Like what the rest of the world wishes for us.
The thought was making my head hurt which was why I’d been fighting to not think about it to begin with. Shaking my head as if it could get rid of all the clutter in my mind, I flipped the lid of the container and poured the contents into my hand without a second guess.
The press against my back stalled me from tossing the pills into my mouth. My body was mid-action, my arm raised halfway and my mouth half-open.
“Ne-” My head was forced to turn to the side and hot lips claimed mine while my gaze was stuck on those hollow eyes. I watched those stunning magic circles begin to bleed to life - their softly illuminated glow confirming that my mate could see very clearly as he took in my shocked expression and dilated orbs.
The longer we kissed, the harder it was for me to figure out what the fuck I’d been thinking about in the first place, but I gave up entirely as my eyes softened and slowly closed while I immediately relaxed against him.
It felt like my body was humming against Neo’s, the feeling only reminding me of our painting session and the beautiful creation I yearned to witness hung on the wall once it was finished drying into a masterpiece.
Lowering my hand to the counter, I released the pills in my grasp just so I could break the kiss for one solid second. My body turned on its own accord, my arms around his neck and pressing us together while his hands were on my hips, gripping me gently.
I loved how easy it was to understand our love language - how we could just fall into the flow of showing our affection for one another without a second thought in mind. I never really got to speak with Neo about how he was feeling, but being able to kiss each other was calming down the nerves I’d been trying to shove in the corner with everything else that was bothering me.
Breaking the kiss, we pressed our foreheads together before I muttered, “You okay, Neo?”
"Been better,” he admitted. “But seeing you up and moving helps.”
“Seeing, huh,” I teased the word and opened my eyes to meet his. “I could get used to that.”
