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“Same,” he agreed as his eyes began to dim until I knew his sight was gone once more.
It didn’t stop him from turning his attention to my lips and slowly inching forward to close the distance between us. This kiss was different, a mixture of passion and apprehension. I bet Neo could feel my uncertainty as to what our next move was, just like how I felt his worry regarding my wellbeing.
Neo liked to express himself in various ways that didn’t revolve around words. His artwork was just one channel of communication, just like his unique touch was another way of telling me how he felt.
Explaining what was going through his mind.
"You don’t want me taking those pills,” I got to the point when we broke the kiss and stared into each other’s eyes. His unsettled gaze held my calm one for a long time, as if he were searching for a way to answer differently without hurting my feelings.
He knew how much Aurelia meant to me. Our friendship, past relationship, and the recent tension that had been brewing due to our unexpected distance was a huge part of my life. It really felt like the world was tearing us apart, and though I’d yet to say it into the universe, I was sure he knew exactly how I felt.
“Do you want me to be honest?” he offered without looking away. His hands moved from my waist to my ass, pressing me further into him as he looked down into my eyes.
“It depends,” I offered. “Will you being honest lead to a few people dying tonight? Because if so, I want the truth and nothing but the truth.”
He was chuckling a second later and rewarded me with that devilish smile of his.
“Craving a little mayhem, my Sweet Mate?”
I debated on telling him the truth, and I knew he felt my uncertainty because he kissed me again while squeezing my ass cheeks.
“Talk to me.” The raw, husky voice of his did sinful things to my body that was a tingling mess of lust.
“I’m angry,” I quietly confessed as we kept our intense gaze. “Every day is a fight for us. Every fucking day these fools dare to test our loyalty as if we’re the ones who need them. All this violence…these apparent torture cells that kept Milo captive. This same place where the Vile Queen's been hiding and keeping some of the strongest shifters captive with magic collars in her place of sinful worship. Some of Roberto’s own members are trying to start a rebellion, and bitches like Felecia are only contributing to it. The Coven is going to be furious at losing and they’re going to torture my best friend because of it. Everything is a fucking mess…and yet the only person spilling blood is me.”
I saw his eyes darken while mine were filled with tears of frustration. I’d been trying to hide the whirlwind of anger and put myself last so I could make sure the others were okay and I could try to recover from the craziness we experienced as a team, but I couldn’t hide it when looking into those hollow orbs.
I couldn’t act fake around Neo.
“Why do I have to keep inching closer to death, Neo?” My words were barely audible. “So fucking close to the point that I tasted it on my very lips. I took in the scent of its mesmerizing aroma. Paradise was inches away and yet I couldn’t allow myself to turn my back away, to give up and admit all of this was too fucking much for me.”
I knew this was my chance to say what needed to be said. To express how I was feeling so maybe Neo could help me in figuring out what I needed to do to solve all of this.
To find a way out of this constant cycle that left me weak, vulnerable, and unsatisfied.
“All these people scrambling at the idea of us being alive. Others are enjoying cocktails and fucking women in bars as if they have already obtained victory in this unpredictable war. No matter which side is celebrating or fighting for any strand of salvation they have left, what am I left with?” I questioned. “My Alpha is drained but determined to seek revenge, so I have to slip a fucking sleeping pill in his morning doses to knock him out so he gets the rest he deserves. My holy mate is so ticked off that I bet he wants to burn the Vatican to the fucking ground. I have two brothers who’ve just reunited but can’t stand being in the same room with one another because one is an overprotective fucker and the other is probably scared the only person on his side will disappear if he doesn’t keep an eye on me. Then there’s my angry fighter who wishes to do more than stare at computer screens. I have to figure out where I stand with a fae prince who probably feels more out of the loop than any of us. And top it off with my warlock guard whose parents both perished so we can get some fancy position that my best friend has been spending her whole life trying to obtain, and even that friendship is on the verge of crumbling down because the Coven is so fucking envious of me rising up in the charts of power that they’re willing to use my bestie against me.”
Throughout the tirade of words, my brewing rage just grew and grew until it felt like I could take down this entire city in one night just to get a glimpse of what peace was like.
My tears escaped my eyelids as I leaned in enough so my lips brushed his as I stated my final point.
“And after all that, my artistic mate who would cover this whole fucking world with bloodshed and death is forced to babysit me so he doesn’t say ‘fuck it’ and go on a killing spree himself.”
He didn’t hide the truth in his eyes as they darkened entirely and those red magic circles returned with blazing force. There was the intense fury, the burning rage that could kill a fleet of assassins and destroy skyscrapers if he allowed even a glimpse of his power to rage loose.
No matter our shared gaze of fury, his hands were so tender as they moved from my ass cheeks to press lightly against the sides of my face - his thumbs slowly brushing away my tears that shed from their safe haven.
“I’m tired,” I stressed those words through my gritted teeth. “Tired of this foolish fucking game. Tired of this deceptive bitch hiding in some dark oasis and trying to ruin my fucking life! I’ve earned every fucking moment up to this point. I’ve earned the chance to have a damn break with my men. I’ve earned the right to let Bria free to run and play with her pack counterparts and frolic freely in the forest lands we fucking own. I deserve to get the medical stability I need to not go fucking insane while still being allowed to have my best friend by my side! I deserve to find the truth of my heritage, get a chance to speak to my mother, whom I don’t remember knowing within my entire life. I’ve earned a shopping date with my sister, who’s probably had to play a role in all of this bullshit with the realization she’d be giving away what she’s been keeping safe for me to claim, which frankly, leaves her with fucking nothing. I’ve earned the right to check on Papa Fucking Dearest who’s still in a coma instead of having to act like it’s a big fucking secret because he has so many damn enemies who think they can just waltz in and try to take him out completely and steal the pack that I'm supposed to inherit! I’m about to open the biggest, most fearsome business the fucking world has seen, and instead of feeling happy and proud, I’m fucking frightened that something else will happen and completely ruin a dream I’ve surprisingly accomplished thanks to my pack that helped me come out to the world as Willow De Luca. So, after I’ve been kicked, shoved, bruised, punched, and outcasted my whole fucking life, can I finally pierce the surface of this never-ending NIGHTMARE and get revenge?!”
The actual structure shook while the lights began to flicker on and off rapidly, to the point that the whole building’s light system shut down with a dull ”boom” sound.
The absence of light did nothing to turn our attention away from each other. In fact, the darkness only heightened the intensity of our brutal stare while a voice came onto the speaker.
“Attention, please. There has been a temporary blackout along the entire district. Our generators are starting up very shortly. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
No words were said as we continued to remain there in the dark, but I knew he understood every single thing. He grasped every angle of my frustration and was listening to my secret plea for help.
That was exactly what this was. I was asking Neo for help because I really didn’t know who else to turn to who would understand this desperate need for bloodshed. Out of everyone, Neo and Nico understood perfectly how it felt. They had dealt with being pushed so far into a corner that it felt like the world was suffocating you in a world of silence with no way out.
