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My voice was feminine now, which made me giggle while peering into those lovely eyes of onyx with rings of silver.
Silver.
"I know who you are!” I declared like I’d solved a grand riddle. I hooked my arms around his neck, and the move made him grow tense for a second before he seemed to force himself to relax. "Aww, does intimacy scare you? No. That’s not it. Let me think…it’s at the tip of my tongue…the tip. Hehehe. Tipping over the edge of fucking insanity.”
I should have been a comedian.
"Did I tell you that my Papa Dearest passed away?” I offered like he hadn’t been here for a while. “Everyone must know by now. It’ll be all over the news. Outlets must be swarming to be the first to announce the news. You know I hate that. How other people go frantic to reveal the death of another for their own profit! I mean…it’s simply the game of life, but fuck, man. They can’t even give the family members a moment to grieve.”
It felt like such an important rant as I huffed and lifted my head higher like I was making some sort of speech to the world.
“No one should profit from someone’s death. From someone’s pain. All those selfish fuckers. Can’t they see my heart is hurting? My Papa said he was fucking proud of me! That he didn’t wish for me to go through all the bullshit I’d gone through. Heck, he told me to be easygoing on my Mama Dearest. Just to give him all my scrutiny rather than her. Selfless prick of a mafia Alpha. Who the fuck am I going to put my anger on now? He’s fucking dead! Why did he die when he’d just watched me cross the finish line? Out of all the fucking people to die, it wasn’t supposed to be him!”
I felt insulted by the whole thing, while water went down my cheeks that were surely flushed.
"Then my best buddy in the world who went all rogue betrayal ‘I gotta stay with the Coven for my boyfriends’ of a bitch, killed him. Just like that. Pop! My Papa Dearest is dead! My best friend killed him for what? Because I’m dating her twin sister? Oh. We’re not dating. I need to correct that. We’re fucking mates! She’s all jelly cause I’m mates with her copy. So she killed my Papa and now he’s dead. He’s gonna be buried six feet under and it feels like I’m fucking drowning in six feet of fucking insanity.” I laughed — or sobbed.
I couldn’t tell the difference anymore.
Unhooking my arms from his neck, I pressed my clenched fists to his chest and smiled so widely that I bet I looked frightening.
"And now here we are! I'm fucking Alpha of my dead father’s pack and the Beta of my Forbidden Pack with ten mates. Or eleven? Nine? Whatever the equation is plus Beta Fucking Malachite over there cause he has a crush on me but can’t say shit since he doesn’t know how fucked up I am in the head!” I laughed again. “I bet if he knew, he’d run for the hills. Heck. He’d go to Hell and get Papa Dearest. Maybe I can give him some money. A fortune in exchange for my Papa. Then I can pretend none of this happened. My Papa would be alive. My best friend wouldn’t have to be my enemy. I’d get all the time to talk to her twin sister who’s my mate and then we can all be a lovely pack! I wouldn’t be sad. Or mad. Or disappointed. Or hurt. Or filled with so much fucking regret I want to explode. That’s what my mind feels like. It’s gonna fucking explode, Onyx!”
I gripped his shirt so tightly, my nails probably scratched him in the progress as I held him for dear life.
"This is supposed to be the epitome to my ruling. My wolf domination of all those fuckers who didn’t believe me, but here I am.”
My smile couldn’t be more broken as I could literally see two Onyxes in my view.
"A fucking…mess…” I fought to stay awake while my legs practically shook in hopes of handling my weight.
“You know…Loki probably has connections. He’s a reaper wolf! Think…I can ask him nicely to get Papa Dearest back? I’ll…be a good girl. I won’t drink anymore… I’ll…I’ll enjoy a nice shower with him…but Onyx has to come or else they’ll fight and kill one another.”
The idea was funny but my laugh was so far off from a merry sound that it honestly sounded pitiful.
A cry for help.
"Loki would help me. He’s a kind soul…even though the world hasn’t been kind to him. I’ll get him and then you have to be nice to him from now on, kay? He’s family. Family is so important. All our family members were there. People we thought were dead were there to watch me rise to my birthright, Onyx. That means something. Family is vital. Like the classics say…nothing is stronger…than family.”
Yet the statement made me feel empty…
"Papa…is dead,” I repeated as I hung my head low, my forehead barely pressing against his white shirt. "Family…is everything…”
And yet…
“Papa left me…” My eyes closed and I couldn’t find the strength to open them anymore “Why? Why…is that so?”
No one could answer my question.
