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FACE THE MUSIC AND RELY ON ME
~WILLIAM~
Sweat drippeddown my face as I fought for breath, each labored inhale only making me feel more alive as I stared at the horizon that glimmered in the sunrise.
Rising from my crouched position, I straightened my back and continued to stare outward, my eyes taking in the golden hues while my heart continued to hammer against my chest.
It was five in the morning and everyone was asleep. I didn’t remember what happened after our run because I’d clearly fallen asleep.
When I woke this morning at four in the morning, I was already William, sleeping naked between Arthur and Saint.
That was a first.
I should have taken advantage of sleeping a few more hours, but my mind was already drifting through a list of unnecessary bullshit that would only ruin my day if I didn’t get my body moving.
I’d missed the feeling of working out, pushing myself to my limits and forcing my mind to shut up so I could have a few exhausting moments of silence within my mind.
It had been a while since I’d been so mentally troubled. It was crazy how business and mafia deals never stressed me out to this extent.
Another thing Death does…
Running my hands through my wet locks, I looked to the floor, realizing how blurry my vision had become in mere seconds.
“Fuck,” I cursed, but I didn’t fight the tears that begged to fall. They overflowed from their pooling space, descending down my flushed cheeks as if to blend perfectly with the beads of sweat.
Closing my eyes, I took a few deep inhales as I let my head fall back.
This was going to be my new reality and I could no longer run from it. No matter how much I wished to.
“You just gotta let it out and keep moving forward,” I grumbled to myself as I opened my eyes to look at the sky.
I was curious as to what Papa Dearest was doing up where he was.
“Probably dinning with the fucking devil.” It made me chuckle, even if the sound wasn’t hearty.
Another inhale led to an exhale before I ended up walking to the edge of the cliff I stood upon. Being too close made my stomach flip, a frown forming upon my lip as I peered below.
With an involuntary shiver, I took a step back, as if to ensure I was on solid ground before lowering to sit down.
Raising my knees to my chest, I laid my arms across them like a platform and proceeded to put my head on my chest.
If Roberto saw me, he’d think I was being pathetic.
At least, the old him would have reacted that way. The true him, on the other hand, may have been different. Heck, he could have walked over here and sat next to me in silence.
I wasn’t really sure how he would have reacted now that I knew the sinister man was simply wearing a villainous hat in hopes of protecting me.
It still stung, thinking about all the unknowns I’d never get to unravel because the man who carried all those secrets was dead, but I guessed this was life.
This is your new reality, William.
I didn’t know how many reminders I’d need before accepting the inevitable, but once again, I was reminded that this was life.
It’s okay to feel like a broken record. It’s okay to not understand why things turned out the way they did. It’s okay to not be okay. And it’s just fine to accept that it’ll take time before you truly do feel okay.
Something cold touched my cheek, and all I had to do was glance over to my right to see the familiar woman standing there holding the glass bottle that looked to contain some sort of smoothie.
I needed a few seconds as I stared up at her, taking in the pale complexion of her flesh and the long strands of teal with their generous hues of gold and specks of lime green that were bundled in a ponytail.
