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Chapter 14
Over the next few weeks, Watson felt his relationship with the governess blossoming. Not only that, but he felt how much his daughter loved her just as much as he did. They shared everything together, their meals and their happy moments, their evenings in the library.
Even though he refused to allow himself to get physical with her again, refusing to put her on that spot, the moments between them when they were alone were sweet, like the brushing of hands or even a sweeping of his thumb across her cheek as he helped her remove a stray strand of hair from her face.
Having fallen into an easy routine of working during the day, spending his dinner times with his daughter and her governess, and his evenings in his study speaking with the beautiful woman alone, that was exactly where he found himself the night she asked the question that hurt his heart the most.
“Watson,” she said his name tentatively as they sat together on the couch in the centre of the room. He enjoyed it when she used his first name though she appeared to keep it strictly to whenever they found themselves alone together. It only made their solitude together all that more special.
“Yes, my dear, what is it?” he asked with a gentle smile, reaching out instinctively to lay his hand atop hers on the couch between them.
“Forgive me, but I fear I must ask something that has been weighing heavily on my mind these past few weeks,” she said, her hand tensing beneath his though he was relieved that she did not try to remove it.
He could feel the tension throughout her body as she sat closely though keeping a steady distance as though she too did not wish to repeat their night of lovemaking, though he did not get the sense that it was because she regretted it.
He sensed that it was more of the same reason he had avoided it, because he did not understand where it could take them. He had tried his hardest not to think of the future, only to be with her in their little moments, and yet slowly the future had come keeping up on him.
“Watson, I need to know, do you continue to see Lady Florentia?” the governess asked and as the final words left her mouth, she glanced down as though she could not bring herself to look him in the eye for fear of what she might find there.
In that moment, looking innocent and scared as she did, Watson thought she had never looked more beautiful. Her pale skin practically glowed in the flickering candlelight of the room and her hazel gaze sparked with uncertainty as she glanced up at him only to quickly look away again.
Watson opened his mouth to speak only to be cut off when she quickly added, “I suppose it is your right to continue to see her, but I…I cannot help but feel as though I have a right to know where that puts me.” Again, Watson opened his mouth, only to be cut off once more, “You are a duke and as such you have every right to court the daughter of an earl…”
She finally paused then and Watson was quick to lift his hand to press his fingertips to her lips, urging her silently to be quiet. He offered her a slightly sad smile, hating the thought that he had caused her any doubt whatsoever as to where his heart lay.
“Matilda, I have not seen Lady Florentia since the day when we ran into her after our fall in the mud,” he admitted with a small scoff of laughter as he remembered the woman’s horrified expression at finding them looking like mud monsters as they walked side by side through the field.
Matilda’s head whipped up at his words and she looked utterly astonished. Her mouth dropped open for a moment, making her look dumb-struck. Then she quickly corrected it, gulping as if she were trying to clear her throat before she said, “But there are rumours throughout the house and I have heard talk of the two of you in the village.”
Watson raised an eyebrow at her and squeezed her fingers that were still nestled beneath his own on the seat between them. He could not help but smile fondly at her, lifting her hand from the couch so that he could press her knuckles to his lips.
“Matilda, you are far too intelligent to believe all the rumours that you hear.”
She glanced away from him again and her hand moved slightly as if she wanted to rip it from his grip. He was relieved again when she did not. Instead, she squeezed his hand in return and when she looked at him again, there was fear in her beautiful hazel gaze. “Do you wish to continue to court Lady Florentia?”
Watson started to make his protest there and then but she quickly began to babble all over again. “I do not wish to get in the way of a good connection between you and the lady, especially if you believe it is for the good of your daughter,” she said, her voice clearly filled with all the emotion that she was trying to desperately to hold back. “I would never wish for Lady Amy to miss anything, and clearly, before I arrived you believed that Lady Florentia was a good candidate.”
Watson’s stomach clenched at that. If he truly allowed himself to think about it, he would admit that Lady Florentia was merely the best of a bad bunch. She was a lady old enough to be his late wife and mature and smart enough to take on the responsibility of having a ten year old daughter.
Not just that but she also had good family connections, ones that would make his business life a little easier and hopefully mean that he could spend more time at home with his family. She practically ticked all of the boxes, all but one.
“Matilda, I entirely understand what you are saying but the truth is that since you and I have been together, I have not thought of the future,” Watson admitted, and the truth of it made his stomach clench with guilt.
He knew well that he was the head of a household, more than that he was a duke, and he ought to have always been looking to and thinking of the future to ensure that his family never needed or wanted for anything.
“If this is you asking me to do that, then I know one thing for certain.”
Matilda looked at him, her eyes round and fearful. Her hand trembled in his and he was certain that he saw a flicker of hope in her hazel gaze when he started to smile at her.
“I am certain that my future does not contain Lady Florentia in it,” he announced and he heard Matilda’s sharp exhale as if she had been entirely holding her breath, too terrified to hear what he had been about to say for fear that he might admit he thought there was no future between them.
The truth was that could not be further from the truth. Though he knew it would be next to impossible, he could see more a future with the governess in those few minutes sitting with her than he could have done during his entire time courting Lady Florentia.
“Then I am not getting in the way of anything?” Matilda asked, her fingers squeezing his and her gaze becoming more hopeful than fearful. Watson could not help himself. He had been trying to keep her at a distance while trying to get to know her for the last few weeks and now, seeing her so frightened and vulnerable, all he wanted to do was take her into his arms.
And so that was exactly what he did. Gripping her hand a little tighter, he pulled her toward him, urging her body against his so that he could wrap his free arm around her and hold her close.
“Matilda, I assure you that you are not getting in the way of anything,” he said, holding her still, feeling the warmth of her body pressed up against his own and knowing that was exactly where she was supposed to be. It was in that very moment that he came to the realisation that he knew exactly what he had to do.
