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Nausea,check.Breast tenderness,check.Fatigue,check.My hands start to sweat and the nausea churns once more in my stomach. Last one. Missed period,check. Oh fuck.I lean over the edge of the chair and vomit all over the porcelain floor. The pharmacist looks over the counter at me in horror and disgust, but I don't care. I can't stop the shaking and now I'm sobbing.
"Do you need an ambulance?" the woman asks in a snotty tone. I just shake my head no and stand, before walking back to the aisle. I grab three tests, leave some cash on the shelf, and walk out the door. My head in a fog, I don't see Lee until I'm crashing into her.
“Cara? What's wrong?” She grabs my hand and I drop one of the tests on her feet.
“Is that what I think it is?” she gasps. I bend down to snatch it before anyone else can see, but she's quicker than me.
“Cara, what's going on? Are you pregnant?”
I look into her shocked eyes and shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe?” I whisper, before breaking down into sobs again. She wraps her arms around me and moves us against the wall, out of the way of passing townies. I know I’ll be the gossip this Sunday at church.
She pulls her phone from her pocket and dials someone, still holding me with one arm. I don’t think I would be standing without her support.
“9-1-1. My place right now. Bring ice cream, tissues and a pizza.” She looks my way and winces, “No. No alcohol this time.” She hangs up and removes her arm.
“Come on honey, let’s go to my place and find out.” She takes my hand and stuffs the tests in her bag, glancing around to make sure no one saw what she was doing. I follow her as she moves down the sidewalk to the small apartment she’s renting. She unlocks the door and winces. “I’m sorry about the mess. I wasn’t expectin’ company.”
I burst out in a chuckle and she freezes giving me a look, like I've lost my mind.I think I finally have.“Lee, I don’t care about the mess. I am a mess, it's only fitting.”
She huffs at me, shoving me through the door and into her small bathroom in the corner. Grabbing one of the tests from her bag she hands it to me. I glance down at it and sniffle.
“This is a joke right?” I ask and she cringes.
“No babe, but we won’t know for sure until you take the test.” she says gently. I rip open the box and dump the contents on the counter.
“Do you want me to stay?”
I nod, and she turns her back to give me a moment of privacy. “Is there someone we should call?” she asks, and I snort.
“No. They don’t deserve to know.” Well maybe Connor, but I need him to stay in school and if he finds out I know he'll fight me more on the issue, Xavier hasn’t even attempted to call me, and Lay doesn’t need the stress.
I take some deep breaths, then sit down and read the directions. They’re pretty straight forward, but still. I’ve never done this before. Pee on a stick and wait for the results.God what is my life becoming? I should have just stayed a virgin.
Waiting the three minutes for the results, I can’t help but think back to the night I lost it.
“Are you sure?” Jase whispers on my lips. Am I? He grinds against me again and my eyes roll back. God yes, I’m ready. I groan and give him a nod. Just do it already, I want to shout, but that may freak him out. I'm not that type of girl.
“Just go slow. I want this, Jase. I want you,” I tell him in a breath, before reaching up and pressing my lips to his gently. He groans and pulls back. Closing his eyes I can feel him distancing himself. Did I do something wrong? Does he not want me? Maybe he doesn’t want a virgin. I mean I’ve seen what he and Lay do, maybe I’m too vanilla. Maybe I should have watched some porn like Sassy told me to.
Tears prick my eyes and he starts to pull away. No, I will not have him just stop. I wrap my legs around his lower back and arms around his neck, pulling him down onto me. “Is something wrong?” I choke out. Why is he acting this way?
“Don’t you want me?” I say shakily. He immediately leans down and kisses me so softly. When I feel the moment is right I reach down and stroke his hard cock, placing it between my thighs. He slides, bumping my clit, due to how wet he’s made me. God that feels so good. I whimper as he inches forward a little, giving a small thrust. Oh my god, ow. I clench accidentally but it only increases the burn.
“Get them wet,” he says quietly, shoving his fingers into my mouth. My eyes bulge but I doubt he can see me in the dark. I do what he asks, getting them extra wet. He pulls them away then reaches down and coats himself, rubbing my slit, before pressing against my entrance again. This time he doesn’t stop. Fuck this burns. I clench, holding my breath.
“Holy shit, you're so big,” I pant out. He pulls back a little, then pushes in more. I try not to seem like a wimp, biting my lip to hold in my scream, but a little slips out. A tear escapes my eye. God that’s embarrassing. He’s never going to want to do this again. He pulls back a little and I know this is it. He’s going to tell me to leave. Lips touch my cheek as the tear runs down, surprising me with a gentle kiss.
I gasp as the pain turns to pleasure…
“How’s it going babes?” Lee asks me, pulling me back to what I’m supposed to be doing. I quickly take the test, then stand. Placing it on the counter, I wash my hands, glancing in the mirror at the pale faced, scared girl staring back at me. The stupid, foolish girl who thought she was in love. I snort and shake my head. I guess it all makes sense now. Why he was pulling away. And I pulled him closer to me, scared he was going to tell me to go.
I bet he found it hilarious how desperate I was. I guess I could just watch the video for myself. I mean, all I need to do is open my Facebook feed and press play. I wince at that thought and my stomach rolls once more. “Okay, hon. Are you ready?” Lee asks, offering her hand in support. I shake my head, and she brings me in for a hug.
“You got this Cara. Whatever the results are. You got this. You're one of the strongest people I know.” She pulls me closer to the counter and I pick up the small plastic test. Something so small, that I could snap in two without breaking a sweat, holds the answers to my future. I glance down at the two pink lines and my head starts to spin. I plop down on the tile and Lee wraps me in her arms as I cry and shake.This can not be happening to me!
“I know babe, but it is.” Wait, did I say that out loud?
“I’m sorry to say this girl, but this was the easy part. What are you going to tell your dad?”
