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I take the coward's way out and avoid his gaze, just giving him a small shake of my head. “I only just found out, and honestly Dad, I don’t know if he’s the daddy.”
Frankie mutters, “Oh dear” under her breath but comes closer and wraps me into her arms. I let the tears fall as she gently rocks me. I wish my mama was here. I love Frankie, but she doesn’t compare.
“I remember finding out I was pregnant with Memphis during a random check up. I had to go get a physical before I could play volleyball, and I was shocked to learn I was pregnant. I remember being so scared and feeling alone. But honey, we will always be here for you. You are loved, and no matter what you decide to do we will support you.” Frankie gives me a kiss on the head, then stands to leave. “Now that reminds me. I need to call that son of mine and make sure he’s using protection. I do not want that Dolly character in our family.”
I snort as we watch her go. “She’s right, you know. We'll figure this out together. As a family.” I nod and look up at him with watery eyes.
“How can you not hate me right now?” I ask. “I did the one thing I swore I would never do.”
He rushes from his seat to wrap me in his arms. “I could never hate you, baby girl. Carson, you’re my everything. I just wanted a better life for you, than being knocked up in this small town.” He kisses my forehead, then gently leans back and walks out of the room. His shoulders shake and I know he’s putting on a strong front for me, but I've broken his heart in the end.
“I’m sorry, Daddy,” I whisper to his back.
Eleven
Connor
“Once we get back to school things will be different. Me and you. No more drama. No more Kippas. You’ll see, baby.” I wrap my arms around her waist and rest my head on her belly. She sighs and runs her nails through my messy brown hair.
“I’m not going back, Connor. I tried. I really did and it’s not just about what happened on Valentine’s, it’s everything, the bullying from the Kippas, from people I had never even met. The lies and betrayal. I was on the fence to leave before all this had happened. I’m just not fit to be there...but you are. You were made to be at Texas U. The big football star. And as much as this is going to destroy me, I think what you need to do is go back. Forget about me. Move on. Find someone to love you and only you.”
“No Cara, I don’t want anyone else. I only want you, and now that the guys have messed up we can finally just be us.” She cuts me off.
“I’m sorry Con. I really wish I could be that girl for you, but I don’t see myself being in any kind of relationship for a long time.”
Stupid! I punch my steering wheel again and let out a yell. Yeah, I should have known after seeing her falling in love with the others, that she would never be just mine, but my stupid ass had to open my mouth, and even though I took it back...I’ve ruined everything.
I flip my turn signal on and sigh when I enter the campus parking lot. It’s been a long-ass drive and my thoughts have been all over the place. Our last conversation replaying over and over in my head. I park the truck and head straight to Jhonson Hall, being careful to avoid the side room where Cara and I first fooled around. It’s too painful. Being on campus here without her, with her ghost all over the place is going to be a daily challenge.
I stomp down the hall and open the door. Xavier is sitting on the couch and hops up soon as he sees me..
“Fuck, Con, why haven’t you been answering your phone? Where the hell have you been?”
I walk right up to him and punch him square in the cheekbone. His ass hits the floor and he moans.
“What the hell? Why did you do that?” he asks, but I leave him there and walk to my room. I pack a bag then walk out. I go up to Sassy’s room and knock.
“Connor, what’s going on?” She opens the door but looks weary.
“Can I stay here for a few days? If I go back to my room I may commit murder,” I growl. I’m overtired and pissed off. Her eyes pop but she nods, opening the door wider for me. I drop my bags on the table and take a seat on the couch. She grabs me a beer, then sits beside me.
“Want to talk about it?”
I shake my head and she sighs.
“Mind if I just take a nap? I’ve been driving all night.”
She tosses me a throw blanket and I pause. My eyes heat, and I know I’m about to cry. Cara and I used to cuddle under this when we would watch movies. This is probably one of the worst places for me to be right now, when I was worried campus would set me off.
“I have a date with Mika. I’ll stay at her dorm tonight. You can have Cara’s room or the couch, whatever,” she says with a shrug, then stands up and walks towards the door. “Make yourself at home, Con.”
I thank her then down my beer and lie back on the sofa, hoping for a dreamless sleep.
e
A few days pass and I’m still avoiding Xavier and all things related to the Douchethornes. I sent in my request to leave the fraternity and was immediately approved. I guess I should be happy this wasn’t a blood in, blood out sort of organization. I don’t even want to step into their or Kippa Nu’s house again. I had heard about Layton and though it’s worrisome, and I know he was innocent, I keep my distance. I know he’s still away at the hospital, and Sassy keeps me up to date. She also mentioned that Cara doesn’t know and she can’t reach her. The fact that Cara’s also blowing off her supposed best friend should make me feel better, but it just makes me sad.
She’s going through some things right now and she’s pushing away everyone that loves her. I’m worried. I’m seriously worried, but when I brought it up to Sassy she laughed until she cried. Called me crazy then gave me a beer and a joint to calm me down. I've never been one for drugs, but after all the shit that’s been going on, I did partake. It helped me sleep through the night for the first time. But I didn’t like how hungover I felt the next day. I know college is all about experimenting, but I think I’m good.
