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I move away from the shower wall and peel my clothes off, leaving them on the ground with a splat. I’ll deal with them later, or maybe I won't, who knows. Who cares? I quickly wash away this week’s sweat and grime, then reach for a towel, shutting the water off. I bring it to my face and pause. It smells like Lay. I hold it to my mouth to muffle my sobs and sit my ass down on the cold floor.
I really fucking miss him. I miss Cara too, but almost losing Lay like the way that I did was too much.
“Bro, what the fuck you doing in there? Get your ass out here,” Xavier shouts and I groan. Why, why today did he decide to storm in like a bat out of hell and decide I’m the one he’s going to annoy?
“Yeah, yeah keep your fucking pants on,” I growl and he laughs through the door.
“No worries there man. I’m not into the D like you.”
I snort and a smile cracks my face for the first time in weeks. I stand and swing the door open, wrapping the towel around my waist. “You’re an asshole, man,” I say without any malice and he gives me his signature smirk. I push him out of the way and walk over to the closet. Half the things in here are mine, just like half the things in my closet are Lay’s. I grab whatever is clean and throw them on, before returning. Xavier has made himself at home on the bed and is flipping through TikTok.
“Make yourself at home man,” I scoff and he shoots me a wink. Cocky asshole. I don’t know what Cara saw in him, but then again I don’t know what she saw in any of us. For someone so pure hearted she chose the most broken, soulless men. Well except for Connor. I really don’t know what his issue is.
“Okay, so from what Ella has told me—”
“Wait Ella? She’s the one that ratted me out? How the fuck does she know?” I growl and Xavier holds his hand up.
“Are you finished?” he snaps. I shut my mouth and clench my fists.
“As I was saying, Ella was extremely drunk and spilled some interesting secrets about Penelope Smith. I know she’s blackmailing you, Jase. I know what happened the night of Valentine’s wasn’t all your fault. I want revenge and I want proof so I can get my girl and my best friend back. So what do you say? Will you help me?” He sits up on the bed and looks me straight in the eye, holding out his hand. I don’t bother shaking it and move over to the other side. Where Lay slept.
“Put your hand away asshole,” I grunt. He drops his hand and lies on his side, elbow propped up and gives me his attention. “I’ve kept this between us for so long. Tried to keep everyone safe, but what's the point? You want to know the truth, Xavier?”
He nods and I cover my face with my hands, thinking back to that night.
“We need help. I’ll go get Easton. He'll know what to do. You stay here and start to wipe down everything. The house is mostly cleared out or they are in their rooms,” I tell Lay trying to contain my panic. He’s on the verge of a meltdown, and I know I need to be strong for the both of us right now.
“You want to hide this?” he asks, as if I just suggested something appalling. Fuck! I did, did I seriously suggest wiping the crime scene. What am I thinking right now? The drugs are still flowing through my system and I’m having trouble focusing. Lay looks like he’s bathed in a rainbow. It reminds me of skittles. I wonder if he tastes as good. No! Focus Jase. I look him in the eyes.
“Yes. No. I don’t know, Lay,” I try to choke out calmly but I’m struggling. He nods then rushes from the room. I pull on my shorts, then lay a sheet over Kyna. I close her eyes at the last moment and let my tears fall.
“I am so sorry,” I whisper. How the hell did this happen? Did she overdose? I shake my head a few times and try to focus. I need my brother. I need East. I leave the room, shutting the door. I check that the coast is clear and take a deep breath. East’s room is two doors down and I pray he’s not fucking Penny right now. I shuffle along the wall as if that will keep me hidden and gently knock on the door. I wait a few minutes, but no one answers.
I take a deep breath then open the door a crack. It’s dark but the sliver of light shining through the window shows my brother and Penny passed out. I rub my hand down my face and moan at the sensation. I really need these drugs to wear off, like right now. How long do these effects last? Shuffling into the room, I stumble over some shoes and land on my ass. I rub my buttcheek, biting my lip to hide my groan. Wow that feels amazing. No, focus Jase. I crawl over to where East is lying.
“East, I need you brother. Please wake up.” I give him a gentle shake and speak to him as quietly as I can. He grumbles, but opens his eyes. He’s learned to be a light sleeper. This isn’t the first time I’ve snuck into his room in the middle of the night. Usually it’s after a fight with our dad, not a dead body in the next room though.
“J, what’s going on?” he mumbles, and I cover his mouth, pointing at Penny, then placing a finger over my lips telling him to be quiet. He nods and I remove my hands.
“Let me fucking guess,” Xavier snaps and I stop talking. I wipe a tear from my cheek and wait for the explosion I feel coming. “You staged an accident to hide the fact an innocent girl died during a threesome and Penny found out,” he scoffs with disgust and I shake my head. I wish that was what happened.
“We buried her deep in the woods. Her parents assumed she ran away. We didn’t find out Penny knew, let alone videotaped us digging the hole, until a month later, when she blackmailed us into screwing over the leader of her bitch posse.”
Xavier’s eyes widen and his nostrils flare. “Cara wasn’t your first target. Was she?”
I shake my head and he lunges at me. He grips my throat and I don’t bother fighting back. I’m so tired. I’m tired of the constant looking over my shoulder. Waiting for the next threat to come out of nowhere. He releases me and I take a gulp of air in.
“We work together. Get the proof I need. Then you stay the fuck away from me and my girl. You don’t deserve someone like Cara. Now get up, you're coming with me to talk to Connor.”
I sigh but listen because even though he may not know it… Xavier has me by the balls too.
e
We went and found Connor and that didn’t play out as well as Xavier hoped. I don’t know what’s going to happen with them and Cara but I wish them luck. She deserves to have people who would do anything to protect her, rather than allow her to be humiliated and destroyed. I never deserved her. It was all an amazing dream. One I never wanted to end.
Lay comes home today and these past few weeks have been hell, but it’s only going to get worse. I sit on the sofa glancing at my watch every three minutes. I’m not ready for this to happen, but it needs to.
The doorknob jiggles, and I know Lay is home. I take a deep breath in and prepare myself. What’s one more stab to my heart these days.
