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“J, where were you?” Lay asks the moment he walks in the door and finds me on the couch. I avoid his eyes and stare at the blank TV. “I waited for you. I thought you said you were picking me up?” he keeps talking but I don’t acknowledge him. Too much has gone on in the last twenty-four hours and I’m not sure what to do at the moment.
The sound of a bag dropping on the hardwood and his pissed off steps coming my way, finally have me glancing his way. “Are you still fucking mad at me? Because I needed to go away and get some help? Grow the fuck up, Jase Hawthorne,” he fumes and I know I should be talking him down right now, but I can’t.
I clear my throat and look him in his emerald eyes.
“Xavier and Connor know about Kyna.” I don’t say another word and turn back to the TV. A body plops next to me, and I sigh. He doesn’t touch me and I yearn to wrap him in my arms, but I know that’s not the right call. He’s working on himself becoming stronger and I am so proud, but I’m barely holding shit together and I don’t want to bring him back down.
“I love you Lay. I always will, but I think you need to leave. You need to go find Cara and make things better. Be with her. She will love you and take care of you,” I mumble, fighting back the tears that are threatening to fall. “I can’t be your person anymore. I’m sorry.” I stand from the couch, grab my hoodie from the chair and walk out the door. Something smashes inside and I know it’s not just Lay’s heart that I caused to break.
I love that broken boy with all my heart. I always will, but I’m not the one for him. He deserves the world, and Cara can give him that. I wish I could have that too, but it’s just not in the cards for me.
I climb in my truck and start the long drive home. It’s time my father knew the truth and I accept the consequences.
Fourteen
Carson
“That actually sounds like the perfect thing right now Memph. I’m just not sure I could handle all those people watching me,” I tell him as I bite my nail, considering his offer. Me being a part of Whiskey Kiss? Sounds crazy. I move my hand over my flat belly and sigh.
“Shortcake, you were born to be on stage. Plus I'll be with you every step of the way.”
Tears fill my eyes and I sniffle.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I whisper and cringe. I forgot I was on speakerphone.
“I’ve missed you too, Cara. I can’t wait to see you. Say you’ll come! Please! I’m seriously considering coming to Kansas and begging you. It’s a total shitshow here. I need you… we need you.”He takes a breath and I smile. This is insanity. Am I seriously considering going on tour with Whiskey Kiss? My backup plan was always to join his team and write for him and the band. But to sing? I never imagined going that far.
“Please, shortcake,”he whispers softly and I groan. Now is the worst time for this, but maybe I can save up some cash and support us on my own. I need to contact the guys and let them know, but I still need some time. I’m just waiting for the random pop in. I know it’s coming soon. Going to Tennessee and then on tour is a great way to avoid any more awkward confrontations.
“I have a lot going on here, but I will come and attempt to help you. I don’t know how this is going to play out, Memphis…” I pause and sigh, “but I'll try because you’ve always been there for me when I needed you.”
He whoops and a few cheers sound down the line as well.
This will be good for me, for us. Plus Memphis and I really need to talk about what happened at Thanksgiving. I hate us not talking. I miss my best friend.
“You are my savior. This is going to be amazin’. I can’t wait to show you around Nashville. And the shows. The adrenaline after a performance is like no other. You're going to love it. So…when can you come?”
e
“I have to go, Dad. I'm sorry, but this isn't just my life on the line anymore.” I gently place my hands over my belly and sniffle. Standing in front of me pleading, he wipes a tear from my cheek.
“Please Carson. Don't do this. I don't care about what happened in Texas, or who the father is. Stay here and Frankie and I will help raise the baby.” I shake my head and back away.
“This is your home Cara. You don’t need to run away, babygirl.” He tries again to change my mind, but he can’t. I think this is what’s best.
"Thank you for always being there for me, but I need to try and at least see if Nashville welcomes me as warmly as it did Memphis. I need to at least attempt to do something with my life before things change." He gives my stomach a pointed look and closes his eyes.
"Does he know?" he asks, opening his eyes and showing me how much I'm breaking his heart right now. I shake my head no and he sighs, "Baby girl, you need to tell him. He's expecting you to join the band. How are you going to perform with a baby? Not to mention a tour?" He looks to Frankie for help but she just gives him a small smile. We already talked at length about everything. I told her what happened in Texas and my feelings for Memphis. She confessed to seeing some things on my social media. She was worried about why I returned and did some snooping. She promised not to tell my dad, and I hope she keeps that promise. I have since deactivated all my social media accounts and flagged the bullies who insisted on keeping the drama going. I’ve been gone for two weeks now, and my phone is still blowing up with all sorts of horrible things.
"I won't start showing for a few months. I will let him know, but for now I need to try and do this to support us. I know you are always here if I fall, but I need to at least try. Please Dad, just try and understand."
He throws his hands up and storms out the back door, the screen slamming shut in his wake. I wince from the noise and shut my eyes, letting the tears fall. I know I'm breaking his heart, but everything will be okay. I have faith. I open my eyes and move towards the hallway. My bags are packed and ready to go. I was planning to leave tonight, but I think I’ll just get a head start now.
Frankie pops her head out of the kitchen, stopping me from leaving. She glances my way and gives me a soft smile, gesturing me to come back. I move over to the table, waiting for her to start the begging and pleading again, but she surprises me. Pulling me into a hug she lifts her palm to my cheek, looking into my eyes.
”Don't break my baby's heart, okay? He loves you more than you know.”
I pause at that and notice the tears she's holding back. I give her a nod and she sighs, stepping back. She gives me a quick kiss on the forehead, then heads out to comfort my dad. I sit at the kitchen table no longer holding back my sobs.How did this happen?How did everything turn so wrong?
