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I stare at the kitchen wall getting lost in memories of my mama and me baking cookies while singing silly songs I would make up. I place my hand on my belly and look up to the ceiling.
“Mama, if you can hear me, please watch over us as we go on an ultimate adventure. I really wish you were here,” I whisper aloud, then slowly stand from the bench and move towards the stairs. I need to grab my bags, and get a head start on the long trip. Nashville here I come. Please don’t let this be a colossal mistake.
But first, I step outside ready to make the twenty minute walk. There’s one more place I need to go before leaving.
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Everyone says things happen for a reason. If that’s true, then what reason was there for all the pain and heartbreak in my short life? Every time I think I’m finally going to have a happy ever after something or someone comes swinging, knocking me to my ass and proving me wrong. I thought the day I lost my mama would be the worst possible thing I would go through. I should have known better, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this.
I glance around the deserted cemetery, hesitating to continue walking towards the plot. Tears blur my eyes, and I feel sick to my stomach. Too young. Taken way too soon. My eyes pause on the cold cement as I lift my head to the stormy sky.
The weather today is a perfect example of all the emotions running through me right now. Grey clouds with moisture heavy in the air and tornado warnings on the horizon. I shouldn’t be here. I should be back in my dorm room with Sassy, watching some dramatic show and drinking tequila. Nursing my broken heart with junk food and a hangover in the morning. Instead, I’m standing here in an empty graveyard, wishing I had one more moment to say how much I love and miss the time we spent together, and that I’m sorry. Sorry for letting them down and not being there when they needed me most.
I toss my bags on the ground and sit, staring at the inevitable, taking my boots off, I wiggle my toes in the soggy grass. The walk has given me some blisters, and I sigh with relief. My phone buzzes, but I ignore it. I shouldn’t have come here alone. I know even though he was upset, he would have been here with me, or at least given me a ride, but I needed to do this alone.
The wind blows, shaking the trees in the cool breeze, alerting me of how long I've been sitting here staring into space. I need to get this over with before I get stormed on. Climbing to my feet I walk towards the gravestone I wish wasn’t standing there…
If I had a sledgehammer, I would tear it down.
A honk pulls me from the grief and despair rolling through me much like this storm that’s now decided to start sprinkling. I turn to walk to the bus station, when my dad pulls up out front of the cemetery in his truck. He rolls the window down and wipes his eyes.
“I may not agree with what you're doing darlin’, but I still love you and will always stand by your side. So hop in, like hell I would make you and my grandbaby walk to the station. Especially in this weather. Are you crazy?”
I laugh and feel a huge weight lift from my shoulders. He hops out and grabs my bags, tossing them in the back seat, then gives me a hug that I swear squeezes the life from me. I pat his back and hold him tighter. “I love you, Daddy.”
He sniffles and looks away, opening my door for me, then gently closes it and rushes to his side. Climbing in, he shakes some of the water from his hair and gives me a look.
“Only my child would decide to run away during a tornado warning,” he mutters under his breath, before pulling away from the curb and starting the short drive. “I want you to call me every night, and Frankie and I will be visiting once a month,” he says immediately.
“Okay, that sounds fair,” I reply, but he’s not done.
“One more thing Cara, you need to tell him. Do not let him depend on you when you know this is on a time limit. It’s his career on the line.”Oh shit, he’s right. Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this.I nod and pause. Maybe this is a mistake. He grabs my hand and gives me a quick squeeze grounding my wild thoughts. I take a deep breath of the vanilla scented air freshener and nod.
“Yeah, Dad. I promise I’ll tell him. Just give me a few days to settle in.”
We don’t say anything more and soon we’re pulling up to the bus station. I climb out and turn to give him a wave, but he shuts his truck off, and swings the door open.
“Are you sure you have everything?” He grabs my bags and places them at my feet. I glance down. Yeah, basically everything I brought back from college are in those bags.
“Yeah Dad. If I need anything I’ll let you know, or I’ll go buy it.”
He pulls me into his arms and holds me tight. I glance back at the station.Shit. I'm going to miss the bus.
“I have to go Dad, otherwise I’ll have to wait for the later bus.” He lets me go and kisses my forehead.
“I love you baby girl. Be safe, and call me. I will be checking in with Memphis as well.”
I laugh and give him one more hug. “Relax, big guy. I got this.”
He laughs and chucks me under the chin. I back away, grab my bags, and hustle to the bus window.
“Can I help you?” a bored woman says while playing a game on her phone. I hand her my credit card and wait for her to give me attention.
“One ticket to Nashville please,” I say when she puts her phone down.
“One way or round trip?” I think that over for a moment.Maybe I should do a round trip in case this bites me in the ass... No, I got this.
“One way,” I whisper. She nods, prints me my pass, then goes back to her phone.
