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“Good luck, Carson.” I pause and take her in more.Oh shoot I know her.Ugh my head is a mess.
“Thanks Di,” I tell her quickly, then rush to my bus. It leaves in ten minutes. I find a seat in the middle and pull out my pillow. I don’t know if it’s a pregnancy symptom or everything that has happened in the last four days, but I'm exhausted. I feel as if I could sleep for two weeks. I close my eyes and I’m asleep before the bus even rolls out of the station.
Fifteen
Layton
I watch as Jase walks out the door. I bite my lip to hold in my cry. He doesn’t deserve anymore of my tears. Turning around, I grab the first thing I can find. The TV smashes to the ground, but I don’t feel any better. My emotions are in turmoil inside me and I want to destroy all the good memories we shared. I continue to let the anger get the best of me and I must have blacked out and lost my sense of time.
“What the fuck?!” East roars, when he enters the house. I don’t bother looking up. It’s too painful. Seeing his face will only remind me that my soulmate just walked out on me. My shoulders shake and I let the tears fall.
“Lay, are you okay? What the hell happened?” East rushes to my side, and goes to touch me but I flinch away.
“Please don’t touch me,” I grit out and he freezes, hand in midair, and pulls it back. I wipe my eyes and climb to my feet, still not looking his way. I glance around at the destruction and groan. My wrist and ribs are throbbing. I’ve destroyed the living room and part of the entryway.
“Hey J, where are you? I think you need to get back here quickly. Lay is having some kind of breakdown,” East says and I turn, showing him all my anger.
“Don’t bother. He left me.” I laugh but it’s hollow and point to my chest. “He left me; after everything he’s done. If anyone was going to leave, it should have been me.” I shake my head and sigh. What am I going to do now? Jase Hawthorne has been in my life for ten years. He has been my person. My best friend. Before we even started dating he was the one I would always call. He was the one to hold me when I cried. If he’s gone and Carson left, who do I have now?
I need to hit something. Not only is East pissing me off, J broke my heart again and just decided to disappear. Like what the hell happened the few weeks I was gone?
I feel as though I’m spinning out of control. Everything I once thought was, is no more.
I turn and walk out the door, ignoring East’s calls for me to come back. I wander for a few minutes before finding myself in front of Jhonson Hall. I continue on the path to the pizza place and pause at the spot where my life changed.
Running late to get back to East with his smoothie, I wasn’t watching where I was going and spilled his strawberry and spinach smoothie all over a hot as hell girl. She had blonde hair and the bluest eyes I ever saw. I was trying to push the smoothie off her and ended up grabbing her boobs. I was waiting for a smack, but she made me laugh with her sassy attitude. I didn’t know who she was until she told me her name.
I rub my eyes then keep moving. I knew from the moment I ran into Carson that this assignment was going to mess with my head, and my heart. I should have told Penny then and there that I couldn’t do something so malicious, so cruel to her. She was like a sunny day on this horrid campus.
I don’t know which is worse. Being without her, or having to see Penny’s smug face—which is a lot now that her and East are practically engaged. She is ecstatic that her competition is no longer around. I wish thatshewas no longer around.
My phone buzzes and I check to see if it’s J or Carson. It’s not.
“I went for a walk, East. I’m not going to go off and do something stupid again, so you can relax.” I snap and he sighs,“I just worry about you Lay. I may not be your lover but I am your friend. I’m here if you want to talk.”He hangs up and I turn my phone completely off.
One of the coping mechanisms my therapist suggested was going for walks to clear my head, but all this campus does is remind me of the things that I've lost. Maybe it’s time I left.
Carson had the right idea leaving Texas. I just wish she’d taken me with her.
e
The past two days have been hell. I thought the clinic was rough, but being alone with my thoughts has been ten times worse. I would much rather sit and discuss my feelings with a bunch of strangers than lie in a bed that smells like Jase, no matter how many times I wash the bedding.
How did everything go so wrong? I had hoped to come back home and work on my relationship with Jase. To get us to a better place. I know he messed up, and I was ready to talk things through. But to come home and be blindsided. Broken up with. I just don’t know what to do.
I thought going to the hospital and getting some help would be good for us, but it seems I only pushed him further away.
I need answers and since Jase isn’t going to give them to me, East will have to do.
I enter the small coffee shop and take a seat. He doesn’t make me wait long and takes the one across from me. If I thought I looked like shit, he definitely has me beat. “How was she?” I ask and he startles. I roll my eyes and sigh. “I’m not stupid, East. I know you disappeared. You may have visited home, but you didn’t go there first, did you?” I give him a shrug then accept the menu from the waitress that just appeared.
He groans and rubs his hand down his face. “I never got out of the truck. I watched her like a stalker for a few hours then left.” His left eye crinkles in the corner and I know he’s lying. But not completely. Something happened, but I don’t think he’s lying about not talking to her.
“I called her. She answered, but begged me to give her some time and space. After everything I can’t blame her.” I slam the menu on the table and stare him in the eyes. “Why East? Why did you guys do that and not tell me? I’ve been with you guys from the beginning of this nightmare. So why would you leave me out now?” I bite my lip as my eyes fill with tears. He looks down, then looks back up with his own watery eyes.
“Jase was supposed to take her on a date, then come back and fuck her. We knew about the cameras. He didn’t want to tell you because he knew how far you had fallen for Carson. He wanted to spare you from the aftermath.”
I scoff and run my hands through my messy blond hair. “Okay, when did you guys switch? Why did you end up with Carson that night?” I’m still so confused.
