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Memphis curls up under the blanket with me after getting his own mug of tea. I laugh at how small this couch is. He growls and squeezes me closer to his chest.
“This is so not comfortable,” I snort, and he sighs before kicking the blanket off. He climbs from behind me and I sit up confused. He offers me his hand and I take it because why wouldn’t I? Even confused, I trust this man with my everything. He gives me a smile then tugs me to my feet before swooping me up into his arms. I squeal and he laughs. I grab my blanket and he hands me our mugs one by one, before moving us to the big bedroom at the end of the bus. Dolly moved out after our show in Oklahoma, and I’m so glad. He bends low so I can put the mugs on the nightstand, then drops me on the bed. He closes the curtain then tugs his shirt off, tossing it in a hamper. I smile because I know that’s his mama’s doing. Frankie was always on us to put our dirty clothes in the bin to be washed. He grabs the remote from on top of the TV then crawls on the bed behind me. I turn and curl up onto his chest like we were on the couch and he sighs.
“This is so much better.” he kisses my forehead and wraps one arm tight around me while I shake out the blanket a bit to share. He turns the TV onto some movie, but I’m not watching it. His eyebrows crease and he has worry lines on his forehead.
“You’re staring,” he grumbles and I laugh.
“What can I say, you're just too pretty.”
He snorts then tickles my side making me squeal.
“Is that right shortcake?” I smile and he pulls me closer. I place my head on his chest and listen to his heart beat. I’m starting to doze off when he mumbles something.
“Why does this feel so perfect? So right?”
I sigh and nuzzle closer. Thoughts race in my mind, but I don’t know what to say to that. That I have been waiting years for this moment. But it’s too late. We missed our shot. I’m pregnant with another guy's baby and we’re family now.
“Hey, I can hear your mind whirling. Talk to me,” he says, putting a finger under my chin, tipping my face to look at him. We’re so close I can feel his warm breaths brush my lips. I look into his eyes, and I can see the longing there but also the worry. I take a small breath in and let it out, before reaching up and touching his scratchy cheek, rubbing my thumb across it. He closes his eyes, pressing my palm closer to him. His eyes open and the worry is gone, replaced with heat that would burn me if it was real. I wait for him to make a move, but it seems I’m going to have to cross this line. I nudge my nose against his and he trembles with restraint.
“I love you Ten I See,” I whisper along his lips, and he groans, moving the inch and kissing me hard. Whimpering, I let his cheek go, dropping my hand to his shoulder. He shifts until I’m on my back and he’s over top of me, then pulls back, panting, and I fight to catch my breath before he kisses me again. This time softer. Taking his time to taste every part of my mouth. My thighs open and I shudder when I feel how hard he is.
I know we shouldn’t be doing this. But hell if I’m going to stop him. I moan into his lips, and he rolls his hips making me gasp. The sound brings him out of his lust filled state and he stops kissing me, rolling off the bed, before he starts to pace and tug at his hair.
“Fuck, shortcake. I'm so sorry. I never should have done that.” He won’t look at me and I laugh.
“It’s fine Memphis, don’t worry about it. You’re not the first guy to kiss me and regret it.” I climb off the bed and leave the room. He chases after me and pins me to the wall.
“Trust me, Cara. I have wanted to do that for years. But we can’t because life has a cruel sense of humor,” he says with a sad smile. I nod and place a kiss on his cheek. He sighs and lets me go to my bunk. I turn at the last minute before he walks back to his room.
“It really is fine, Memph. It was bound to happen at some point,” I say with a shrug and his eyes widen, jaw dropping. He clears his throat.
“Why’s that?” he chokes out.
I smile and shoot him a wink. “Because the forbidden is always so tempting.”
I climb on my bunk and let the smile fall. It was nice being in his arms. Now I’m all alone again, and I miss someone holding me as I sleep. I sigh and wipe the tear from my eye. I know what they did was wrong and I’m an idiot, but I miss cuddling with Lay, playing video games with Xav, watching movies with Jase, writing songs and eating delicious snacks with East, and having Connor wrap me in his arms so tight and hum me to sleep. I miss my guys.
e
The next few weeks are a whirlwind. We have non-stop shows and I’m feeling the exhaustion. Being pregnant and on tour probably wasn’t the best idea. But the money I've been making will set us up for a few months. If the guys choose not to step-in and help me, I know I can support us. I don’t want to have to rely on my dad. I know he would tan my hide if he heard me say that, but it’s time I grew up.
“I need a nap,” I groan.
“You need to lay off the fast food,” Dolly scoffs and I frown, tugging my hoodie lower. Mini comes over and grabs my hand. We walk over to the dressing room they have set up for me.
“I hate to say it girl, but you're finally showing.”
I sigh and sit on the chair. “I know. I’m planning to tell Memphis this week since we have it off. He said we were going to do something fun.”
She nods and gives me a hug. “What about the other guys?”
I sniff and wipe the tears that have decided to fall. I’m only five months pregnant but I'm already over it. I’m sick of crying.
“After Texas I’ll tell them. I know as soon as I tell them I won’t have a moment apart, and I’m honestly not ready for that yet.”
She grins and shoots me a wink. “Yeah babe, but all that dick. Yum. I would have been bouncing on them like a live sex toy this whole time.”
I snort and my face heats. I told her what happened with Memphis and how now him just glancing my way makes my panties wet. She told me to go buy a vibrator. But a tour bus and the buzzing of a vibrator. Yeah, that wouldn’t have been noticeable. Guys are lucky they can just jack off without noise.
