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Carson walks off to the bedroom, and I contemplate going with her but Xavier seems to have beaten me to it. Not that I can blame him. Memphis comes up behind me and kisses my neck.
“How ya doin’? Want me to kick some asses?”
I laugh softly and he spins me into his arms, gently kissing me, giving me a hug. I sigh and groan, pulling back.
“I have to talk to him. How do you feel about that?” I check with him because I know we’ve talked about Carson and her having more guys, but how does he feel about sharing me? Not that I’m saying that’s going to happen…but it could. I heard every word Jase said, and I know he’s never stopped loving me. Just like I haven’t. I don’t think I ever will.
He rests his forehead on mine. “I just want you to be happy, Lay. Just like with Cara, I will do anything to keep you happy. If that means you fixing things with dipshit over there, then I’m okay with it.”
I sigh and pull his mouth to mine. Kissing him until he’s panting and aching. I pull away and shoot him a wink.
“That’s not nice, babe.”
I laugh as I back away. I mouth ‘later’ at him, then turn and go searching for Jase. I may or may not sway my ass a little as I go.
“I think I should just leave. Cara is taking a nap and Lay has moved on.” I hear Jase talking to East and I stop, before they can spot me.
“You need to nut the fuck up, man! I’ve been dealing with your depressed ass for the last six months. Penny is dead, Dad is gone. There is nothing holding you back except yourself. Now get off your ass and go get your man back. Cara is pregnant and exhausted. She’s taking a nap. She didn’t run away again, brother,” East snaps, and I bite my lip to keep from busting out in laughter.
“I know. I know. And by the way, don’t think we didn’t notice you weren’t surprised about the baby. What the fuck is up about that? What did happen the weekend you went to Kansas? You told me that you never saw her. Was that a lie?” Jase says, getting more angry with every word.
My eyebrows raise and my dick jumps. Dammit, I always did love his alpha tone. East groans and I move closer.
“He’s right, you know?” I say, standing in front of them.
“Lay,” Jase jumps from the sofa but I hold my hand out, stopping him from hugging me. “You’re the one that pushed me away when I needed you most. I mean fuck Jase, I had just gotten an UBER home from a mental facility. I rush inside thinking something had happened to you, only for you to be sitting there waiting to break my heart.” I fight to get the words out and he opens and closes his mouth. East pats his leg then stands up. He gives me a shoulder squeeze then leaves the room. I shuffle over to the spot farthest from him and sit down.
Today started out awesome. I was going to have a chill day with my family. Cara ordered pizza, Memphis and I were fooling around on the couch. Now I’m dealing with assholes from the past. With a side of emotions overwhelming me in ways I'm fighting to control.
“Finding you on that road dying…did something to me. All I ever wanted was to keep you safe, Lay. Even before we became more, I always had a need to protect you and seeing you like that.” He chokes up again and looks me in the eye. “Knowing I was the reason. That not only did I fail… I was the cause. I knew I had to let you go.” Tears run down his face and I take in how exhausted he looks. He has scruff on his normally clean shaven face, and his eyes aren’t as bright as they should be. He looks broken. He may have hurt me, pushed me away. But he destroyed his own heart in the process.
“I can’t say I wasn’t destroyed because that would be a lie, but you leaving me did make me stronger. Going to Kansas was what I needed. I met someone there who helped me move on, and Frankie… She became the therapist I never knew I needed.” I pause and keep my eyes on him. “So, I guess I should thank you, Jase.”
He scoffs and runs his hand through his messy brown hair. “Do not thank me, Lay. I’m just the asshole ex-boyfriend. The fuckup that needed to grow a pair but was too scared to. I’m glad you’ve moved on and are happy. I don’t want to take that from you. I know I have a long way to go to make things better between us all, and I’m just letting you know that I’m going to. I’m going to fight to make things right with you and Cara. We have our life back now, and I’m not going to waste a second of it.” He leans over and kisses me softly. I gasp but he pulls away, then stands up and leaves.
I sit here for a few minutes, staring at where he just was.
“That sounded intense,” Connor says before taking Jase's vacant seat. I nod and clear my throat.
“Yeah it was. How are you handling the news? I know Carson was worried about telling you all. She’s been struggling for months,” I tell him and his jaw drops.
“Why would she be scared to tell me? I love her. I would have been here with her from the pregnancy test if she had let me know. Fuck, don’t get me wrong I’m shocked, but I’m also so angry. I’m angry at myself and at her for not letting me be there every second. By telling her that I wanted her to myself, I pushed away what could have been some amazing months instead of being lonely and depressed.” He snorts and rubs his eyes. “I fucked up and I’m paying for it.” Footsteps sound behind me and I’d know who they’d belong to anywhere. I don’t think Connor has noticed.
“You didn’t fuck everything up, Con,” Carson whispers from the doorway and his body goes still, but he doesn’t say anything. I hold my arms out to her and she comes.
“That was a short nap, love.” She gives me a sated smile and presses a quick kiss to my lips. I smile and she laughs.
“Dallas was hungry. Xavier is still passed out if you want to take a nap.” I shake my head and she laughs again before standing and holding out her hand to Connor. “Come, let’s go get some food and talk.” He looks at her for a moment, and I’m starting to feel like I’m intruding on something.
“I’d like that, Cara,” he finally says, then stands and pulls her into a hot passionate kiss. She whimpers against his mouth and I stand, leaving them to it. I go find Memphis and when I see he’s in the shower I strip down and join him, not leaving till my mind is blank and he is covered in my love bites.
Thirty-Three
Carson
My stomach growls, and Dallas makes herself known by kicking me so hard in the ribs I wince. Connor pulls away and laughs, grabbing my hand. “Let’s feed you, before the hangry monster appears.”
I scoff and roll my eyes but he’s right. Now that I’m eating for two, I really am a monster. I grab my purse and shoes by the front door and send Memphis a text. I had plans later with Sassy, Jen and Mini, but they already got the 9-1-1 text when I woke up naked and messy in Xavier's arms. Am I letting these guys off too easily? Should I make them get on their knees and beg? Or maybe I should use that new paddle Memphis bought. He won’t use it on me while I’m pregnant but he doesn’t mind me and Lay using it on him.
