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Quietly opening the door I slip into the kitchen, careful where I step. I know we’ll have a lot to talk about in the morning, but right now, I just need my bed. I napped on and off during the bus ride home, but it was rough and my neck is killing me. I shuffle to the staircase and head up the steps, careful to miss the creaky ones, until I reach the third floor. I open my bedroom door and groan quietly. It’s empty thanks to everything being in Texas, but I still have my bed and blanket. That's really all I need at the moment and well, maybe a shower, but that can wait til the morning. I toss my things in the corner and slip my sandals off before crawling under the sheets and passing out.
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I wake the next morning thanks to Rex, our rooster, and wipe my eyes. I guess I was crying in my sleep again. Before last night I hadn't done that in a long time. Not since after losing my mama.
Will this pain ever stop? I was only with them for six months. That’s it. Why does it feel like so much longer? But all that time was a lie and I wasted six months of my life because they were all playing a game with me. I hope whatever they won was worth it. Noise from downstairs alerts me that my dad and Frankie are up doing the chores, and the smell of bacon has me groaning. I don’t know when the last time I ate was. I lie in bed a few minutes more and think about what I am going to say. I don’t want him to explode and drive off to Texas and teach those guys a lesson, because how embarrassing.
I throw the blanket and put a giant fake smile on my face, before slowly moving down the stairs to the kitchen. Before I enter I take a deep breath then put my fake cheery voice in place.
“Well something smells good in here. Have any for little ole me?” I ask, then wince when my father looks at me, mouth wide open and brows furrowed.
“Carson. What are you doing here? Why aren’t you in school? When did you arrive?” he spits out so fast I wait until he breathes.
“Hey Dad. It’s a long story, which we will get to later. Can I just get a hug from my old man?”
He scoffs then moves my way. “Old man, my ass,” he says, pulling me into a bone crushing hug. “I don't know what happened, or why you're home, but it's really good to see you. This house is too quiet with just Frankie and me.” He pushes me away and gives me a hard look, then a big smile appears on his face. “Won't be forever though, because someday I will have a house full of grandbabies between you and Memphis.” I give him a shaky smile and move beside him to give Frankie a hug. I blink away the tears before they can fall. At one point I thought Memphis and I would be having those babies together, and now we are bundled into a 'between the both of yous'. I back away and laugh.
“That's far far in the future, Dad.”
He comes up and chucks my chin with his knuckle lovingly. “Damn straight, babygirl. You are too young for the little rugrats yet.”
“No worries there dad,” I say then walk towards the coffee machine. I think today I may need an espresso from the small shop in town. Frankie pats me on the back lovingly as she passes.
“It’s good to have you here, Cara.” she says, sitting beside my father at the table. I add some sugar and veto the cream. My stomach is in knots this morning, but that bacon calls to me. I grab a paper towel and some strips, then move over to sit beside my dad.
“So how are things at school? How are the guys?” Frankie asks, giving me her full attention. I take a sip of my coffee and make sure my mask is in place.
“It’s good. I just needed a breather and spring break is coming up, so I figured I would just head home a few days early.” I don’t bother mentioning the guys, but that seems to appease her and she doesn’t bring them up again.
“Oh actually this is great Cara, you can help me do some baking for the church fundraiser this weekend. Your dad was going to, but we both know he can’t bake a lick.”
I smile at her and nod. That might be just what the doctor ordered. I love to bake, and getting lost in it may help me get over this whirlwind of emotions. Someone knocks at the door and my dad stands to answer.
Laughter sounds from the other room, and I pause. I know that laugh. Did he seriously follow me? “She’s right in the kitchen. Did you guys travel together?” my dad asks, walking into the room with Connor. He gives me a once over, but doesn’t say anything in front of Frankie and my dad. He looks awful and he has a nasty shiner on his left eye.
“No, she left before me, but we should have just coordinated.” he says, coming over to me. Frankie stands and pulls him into a hug, giving me a moment to think.
“Connor, it's great to see you. What in heaven's name happened to your face?” she asks and he responds politely for a few moments, making up some story about horsing around with his brothers. I finish my bacon, avoiding my father’s eyes, then stand and take his hand.
“I need a shower and you look like you haven’t slept,” I whisper. He brings me into a tight hug and sighs, nodding.
“Yes, I drove all the way here.” he mumbles, and I feel like a total asshole. I shouldn’t have run off on him or Xavier or even Layton. I really need to call them back. I turn and face my dad.
“Is there any help you need around the ranch, since I’m home?”
He stares at me for a minute. I know he is trying to figure out what's going on, but I’m not ready to get into that yet.
“You just help Frankie with the baking, baby girl. That's help enough.”
I give him a nod then walk from the room. Connor tugs my hand, trying to get me to stop and face him, but I shake my head and keep walking to the stairs. When we reach my room, I know I won’t be able to avoid this conversation. My eyes already tingle from the tears, and I curse my emotions. Connor releases my hand and I glance back at him from over my shoulder. He’s walking towards the front door. I quickly spin and rush after him.
“Connor, wait.” I may have left him behind, but now that he’s here I don’t want him to go.
“I have to get my bags. I left them on the porch. I wasn’t sure if you would be welcoming me inside. I can go home if you want.” He pauses, running his hands through his short blond hair. “I know you and Sassy both said to give you space…but I just couldn’t risk losing you Cara,” he mumbles in a defeated tone. I gaze into his eyes, seeing the truth and pain shining back at me. I step closer to him, placing my hand on his cheek. I step on my tip-toes, resting my forehead to his.
“I do need time. My head is a mess right now, but you are always welcome here, Connor. I’m sorry for how I reacted towards you. I know you’re innocent in all this.” I lean back and look him in his blue eyes, shaking my head a few times with a sigh. “You and Xavier, even Layton. Just everything has been building the past few months, and after finding out the truth I think I just snapped. I may have reacted a bit rash, but I don’t think I will be returning to campus. At least, not right away.”
He takes a deep breath in and I know he’s about to try convincing me to return, so I place my lips on his before he gets the chance. A soft groan leaves him, and he wraps me in his arms tighter, before yawning into my mouth. I smile and pull away from him.
