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The only one who knew what was going on besides my girls was Memphis. My Ten I See. My first love. I know I should have told them all, but I didn’t want to ruin the short time we had left together. When they showed up that afternoon I knew it was a gift from my mama. She wanted my last few months to be amazing and full of love. And they were, even if I did make them work for my forgiveness.
They may hate me, but I made the right decision. They will see that in time. My eyes feel heavy and I know my body is giving up.
One of the best days of my life will also end up being my last. Did I wish things were different? Absolutely. But I know that God has a plan for all of us and this was always meant to be my Fate. Am I heartbroken? Of course, but I’m also at peace. I’ve known for months that this day was coming and though my decision was hard, I wouldn’t have done anything differently. My eyes drift closed and I smile. The guys will take care of everything. Dallas will be beyond loved and spoiled. I can rest now.
I love you all with all of my heart and soul.
Layton
I stand outside the door silent. At a loss for words. Just moments ago we were laughing and smiling. Holding our child for the first time, and now the love of my life is dying. I watch as they work on saving her life. Memphis stands in the corner distraught, while rocking our daughter in his arms. Xavier is punching the shit out of the wall beside me. Normally being this close to anger would set me off. But I think I’m in shock. I need J. I reach in my pocket and pull his number up. My finger trembles as I push the button. I bring the phone to my ear as an intercom calls out a code blue and a nurse rushes down the corridor towards the room, shoving me out of the way. When she opens the door I hear the sound of death.
“Beeeeeeeeeep.” No, no.What the fuck is going on right now?I drop my phone, slamming my fist into the corridor wall and allow my body to fall to the cold tile.What the hell is going on?
“Hello?” Jase shouts from the speaker next to me, but I don’t pick it up. Xavier starts to pace in front of me. He spins toward Memphis and looks on the verge of punching him. A wail from his arms makes him halt, dropping his eyes to Dallas. My perfect angel. The best gift that Carson gave to us. A tear slips from the corner of his eye. He bites his lip, then spins around and storms off down the hall.
I slam the back of my head against the wall, letting the tears flow unashamedly. My father always called me a little bitch when I cried, and it’s taken me a long time to overcome the embarrassment to show emotion. Especially in public. Almost dying brings a lot of things into perspective. I thought the reason I survived was so I could be this little girl’s father when I learned Carson was pregnant, but now I know. I was saved so I could hold our family together. I know Memphis and the others will need me.
“Why?” That’s all I say, but I know it’s enough. Memphis places his knuckle in Dallas’ mouth and I cringe at his hand not being clean, but she stops crying.
“She made me promise,” he grunts, before chuckling sadly and shaking his head. “That gorgeous, beautiful woman in there made me promise not to tell anyone. She wanted us to spend the last few months of her life happy and experience all the love she had to give. Please don’t hate me, baby,” he chokes out and I wipe my eyes, avoiding his pleading gaze.
He knew. He knew and didn’t tell me. I was there. I was between them at night. I was helping him document every little thing. He said it was for our family videos but now I know it was for Dallas. So she would never forget her mother. The mother she will never get to meet.
The door opens and a man runs in with a crash cart. “Clear.” I hear the sound of a body being jolted. “Again.” I hold my hands over my ears and try to block out the sound. Memphis comes closer to me, but I can’t have him touch me right now. He lied to me. How can I ever trust him again?
I stand from the floor and move closer to him. East and Jase are coming around the corner and I nod at Jase to take the baby. Memphis and I need to work through some shit.
Memphis
I knew this would come back to bite me in the ass, but I never expected to be laid out on my ass by Lay of all people. Easton, yes. Connor definitely. But Layton? Yeah I don’t know if it’s the shock of everything or surprise, but I’m contemplating not getting off this cold, hard floor.
When East and Jase came running back down the hall with smiles on their faces, I knew no one had told them, but one look at our tear stained cheeks and red eyes, I knew they figured it out. Jase snatched Dallas from my arms and cradled her close as East tried to get into Cara’s hospital room. The big male nurse standing guard on the inside of the door, didn’t even turn or bat an eye at his incessant pounding. I went to pull East away and met a right hook to my cheekbone, knocking me flat on my back.
I blink up at the men standing around me with looks of confusion, betrayal and hurt flashing in their eyes. I close mine and sigh. I’m exhausted. The weight of this secret has been killing me, and knowing that one part of my soul is fighting for her life right now makes me want to just give up and find someone with something on them to dull this pain. I mean I am in a hospital. Someone has to have the good stuff on them.
No Memphis!I internally berate myself at my moment of weakness. I made a promise to Cara and I intend to keep it.
“Someone better start talking right the fuck now!” East roars from above me, running his fingers through his brown hair gripping the strands tight. He looks on the verge of destruction and I know how he feels.
“Cara was diagnosed with breast cancer at her twenty-eight week check up. She had been feeling ill and worn down. She thought it was just the pregnancy and the exhaustion of touring.” Lay gasps and covers his mouth with his hand. The tears are falling faster now.
“What? Why wouldn’t she tell us? That was weeks before we came to Tennessee,” Jase asks me. I take a deep breath in, and climb up from the floor, leaning against the wall beside her door.
“They told her because she was young she had a high chance to fight and survive, but they would need to terminate the pregnancy. She laughed. She laughed until they turned into sobs. We went home and she walked into the bedroom and didn’t leave the whole night. I sat outside the door in the hall, listening to her cry and I prayed. I prayed that this was all a dream. I prayed that God would take me instead.” I take a pause and close my eyes remembering her coming out the next morning giving me one look on the floor and telling me she loved me, but this baby needed to live more than her. Lay had been on a trip with Gem and Sassy getting some stuff for Dallas.
A roar from down the hall makes us all turn towards Connor who's barreling down the corridor like he’s about to tackle someone on the football field, Xavier right behind him. He steps in front of me and swings his arm back. I hold my hands up waiting for the impact. Lay sure knows how to throw a punch but Connor Hannaberg may have just broken my nose.
“Fuck!” I shout as the blood pours down my face. The door opens and Jen storms our way.
“What the hell is going on out here? Are you seriously fighting with each other when the girl you love is dying? You should be supporting each other and praying. Cara would be ashamed if she could see you right now,” she growls, making me feel even smaller than I already do. She takes Dallas from Jase and holds her close, letting her own tears fall.
“I promised Cara that I wouldn’t let you all tear each other apart. She knew this would be hard but she had faith that you would support and love each other.” She gasps for breath and I reach out a shaky hand to hold her close. Jen has been our rock during this time. Making sure Dallas stayed safe and healthy. She may just be a midwife, but Cara liked her over that damn oncologist she had to see. I glance through the small window and watch as they fight to keep her alive.
“Please fight shortcake. Don’t leave us,” I whisper.
Thirty-Seven
Carson
