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I mean, I’m not evil incarnate or anything but I’m not above doing things that can’t be considered good by any stretch of the imagination. So, I don’t know why this bothers me so much. It does, though. I roll out of bed, pull on my jeans, and then pull on my tee shirt.
A few minutes later, she comes back. “She’s down again. She rolled over onto her arm. I think she was just uncomfortable.” She frowns and adds, “Why are you dressed? Are you not horny anymore?”
“No, I am,” I say.
“Then why are you dressed? I can still suck you off.”
“I know,” I say, “I just… I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage of you.”
“Taking advantage of me?” she asks incredulously.
“Yeah,” I say. “You’ve been so helpful with Megan and—look, don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want you to think I’m looking for an old lady when what I’m really after is a mother for Gillian.”
She laughs and I blink in confusion. I’m about to ask what’s so funny when she says, “Old lady? Where did that come from? I mean, I know I’m not fourteen anymore, but come on.”
She laughs again and I blush a little as I realize what prompts her laughter. “Oh,” I say, “Yeah, sorry about that. That’s what the guys at the club call their girlfriends or wives. I guess that’s just what was in my head.”
“Really?” she says, “Old lady? What started that?”
“Hell, if I know,” I say, chuckling a little. Her laughter is infectious. “As far as I know, the club’s been using that term since it was founded before I was born. I’m not sure if every biker club uses it, but that’s just what people say. Sorry if I offended you.”
“Oh stop, you big baby,” she says, slapping my arm playfully.
It’s the craziest thing in the world, but even that little sign of affection has a powerful effect on me and suddenly I can’t convince myself that I only want her for Gillian and not to be my old lady or wife or girlfriend or whatever you want to call the girl who stays with you the rest of your life.
“Look, I’m a big girl,” she says. “I get it. I knew what this was when I came over the first night and I’m okay with a relationship that’s about sex and not love.”
She reaches for my pants and begins unbuttoning them. “So, unless you have another reason for stopping, what do you say we pick up where we left off a few minutes ago?”
She pulls my pants and boxers down and takes me in her mouth again. I sigh as my body immediately responds and decide I don’t feel like much of a prick after all.
I do feel strangely disappointed, though. I know now that this is just about sex for her and it hurts to know that she doesn’t see a future with me.
I know I don’t have a right to feel that way. Hell, I was the one to bring up that I was afraid I might just be using her to have help with Gillian. It’s not Megan’s fault that as soon as I say those words, I realize I actually want much more with her.
So, I don’t blame Megan for my disappointment, but even as I cry out and begin pumping in her mouth, I feel a sense of melancholy knowing that this is the most she and I will ever have.
CHAPTER FIVE
Megan
“Oh God, Daddy!” I cry as Chip lifts himself up, taking his mouth off of my pussy and slamming forcefully into me.
Today marks three months since Chip and I started seeing each other and though we have sex of some type every day, each time still seems wonderful and new to me. I writhe and moan and gasp under him as my body slowly loses more and more control and I approach an orgasm that I can already tell will be almost more than I can handle.
This whole relationship kind of feels like that. The sex is so intense and powerful that I feel I might be overwhelmed by the sensations that course through me every time he touches me. At the same time, the intimacy and—domesticity, I guess? —of helping him with Gillian is as intense emotionally as our sex is physically and sometimes, I feel so close to him that I have to resist the urge to run in the other direction just to avoid being overwhelmed by my growing attachment to him.
Not just him, but Gillian too. As she grows and I spend more time with her, I begin to look forward to spending time with her almost as much as I look forward to spending time with Chip. I never consider myself the motherly type before now, but the more time I spend with her, the more I imagine myself teaching her and caring for her and watching her grow as though she were my own daughter and Chip were my husband.
My husband.
I recall what I say to Jonah near the beginning of the relationship when I tell him I’m okay with a relationship based on sex and helping him with Gillian and not based on love or any kind of long-term future. At the time I say it, I know it isn’t true, but I decide I can be okay with it because I get to be with Jonah and I really am happy to help him even if there were no benefits to me at all, sexual or otherwise.
I’m not nearly so okay with it now.
“Daddy!” I cry as my orgasm hits me and proves to be every bit as powerful as I predict it will be. “God, Chip!” I scream again as my body convulses with the power of my climax. I don’t know why I often use his biker handle during sex.
I grip his shoulders and wrap my legs around him, holding tightly as he cries out and I feel him pulsing inside me. I feel tears come to my eyes and shut them tightly, forcing my emotions to calm so I don’t weep in front of him.
