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Iris turned, padding back from the windows with a frown on her face. “Are you okay?” she asked quietly, eyes darting down to my chest. “I drove as carefully as possible, but some of those roads.” She made a face.
“I’m fine,” I grumbled, reaching for her with both hands. When she didn’t shy away, I pulled her into a hug, pressing my face against her dark, silky hair. Iris tensed a moment before she exhaled, melting against me. I held her tighter. “Mostly fine, anyway.” My wolf had finally stopped his pacing, stopped the incessant noise he was creating in my skull.
It could have just as easily been her who was shot. What if she’d been hurt? What would that do to her pacemaker? Fuck, what if it hadhither pacemaker?The rambling thoughts made me hug her closer, closing my eyes as I inhaled her scent. The stink of adrenaline and fear was still present, but it was starting to recede to the background, the familiar smell of frost, earth, crocuses, and fireweed returning.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it, though.What if it was her?It wasn’t just someone being injured under my protection; it was so much more than that. It was so big I didn’t have a name for it or know what I ought to do with it. None of that mattered right now. It didn’t need a name. I didn’t need to do anything with it tonight. I just… I needed Iris to be okay, at least for right now.
Iris was quiet for a while. At some point, I realized she was shivering — not as obvious as before, but a little tremble ran through her every once in a while. When I ran my fingers over her arms, she felt cold. My wolf whined and I finally pulled back. “Is my apartment too cold?” I asked. “I can change the temperature for you.”
She shook her head. “No — no, it’s fine. I just can’t… shake that off.”
I paused.That. When I pulled back just enough to see her face, it was apparent how many thingsthatcould, and probably did, mean; the party, the anxiety attack, Ryan staring blankly at the night sky with a bullet hole between his eyes, the gunman assaulting us or watching a man get choked to death.
The last thought made me tense; I had been in plenty of fights before, but I’d never had to take a life. The other person always backed down when they realized they had lost, but this wolf — either I was going to die, or he was. It was never something I thought I’d have to do, but with a choice like that, the answer was obvious. I didn’t like it — I certainly didn’twantto — but I didn’t regret it, either. If I had died, he’d surely have gone after Iris next. I simply couldn’t allow that to happen.
I can only hope that doesn’t make Iris look at me differently now.
I shook the thought off.What’s done is done. It wouldn’t come undone, either. “Why don’t you take a shower or a bath to warm up?” I suggested, gently rubbing my hands up and down her chilled arms.
Iris gave me a suspicious look. “Are you sure?” she asked, looking around. “I don’t want to… I don’t know.” She shrugged, exhaustion winning out. “Take up your time, space, or whatever — you know what I mean.”
I didn’t, and I didn’t mind if she took up my time, space, or my whatever either. I shook my head, starting to lead her toward one end of the condo. “You’ll feel better after,” I coaxed, steering her through the master to the ensuite. At that moment, I was grateful I’d always been tidy. There was nothing horrifying to reveal behind the closed door.
“The towels are here.” I motioned to a shelf full of fluffy, clean towels and washcloths. “You can use whatever soap or shampoo you want. I…” I frowned, realizing I had nothing for her to wear after. “Is a tee shirt and sweatpants okay? I don’t have anything, ah, in your size exactly, but…”
Iris snorted, finally giving me a look I was more familiar with. “If you had a bunch of lady’s clothing lying around here, I’d have a lot more questions.”
“Fair,” I replied, offering half a smile. “I’ll be right back.”
When I returned with a few things for her from my closet, Iris was poking around the bathtub, fiddling with the handles. I showed her which direction was hot and then left her to her own devices, grabbing a washcloth on my way out.
As I went to the guest bathroom to wipe myself down, I heard the water turn on.She’s taking a bath. Good. I hope that would help her relax, if nothing else.
I returnedto my room once I was sure she was okay and shed what was left of my outfit, discarding it in a small pile on the floor. I found another pair of sweats and my favorite band tee, old, faded, and comfortable. Then I made my way back to the living room, trying to give Iris some privacy.
Flopping heavily onto the couch, I stared up at the ceiling. The adrenaline had left my body, leaving me feeling sore and tired, but my mind was still racing at a million miles per hour like I’d consumed a gallon of espresso. The what-ifs kept piling in, and I had to devise a solution for each one before it evaporated, only to leave two more in its wake. It was like a hydra.
I heard a knock at the door and bolted to my feet — for a second I feared Iris had fallen, but — no, that was outside. I straightened and strode over, briefly checking through the security portal before realizing it was Remus and Nic. I huffed and unlocked the door, letting them inside.
No one spoke until it was sealed and locked behind them. “Is it done?” I grumbled, following them into my living room.
Remus gave a solemn nod, his expression drawn. “I’ve handled Ryan. Your man, Clay, is taking him to a local morgue where a shifter works. I’ve alerted my packmate to handle him. I will call Catherine in the morning to deliver the news.”
His face became even stonier, and I did not envy him; that was surely one of the worst parts of being a pack alpha. I could not imagine informing Catherine that not only was her daughter still missing, but now her mate would never be coming home.
My father sighed. “As for the gunman, I’ve asked Jaxon to take his body to a separate morgue where we have a connection. We don’t know who this wolf is, but we want to make sure no one spills this information without us knowing. We’ll have a limited amount of time to at least determine who this person is before they are forced to process the remains.” He made a face, turning his attention back to me. “Will youpleaseexplain what the hell is going on now, Eli?”
I sighed and nodded; there weren’t many places more private than this. They both sat on the couch and I sat across from them, launching into the story of the bizarre case of Project Night Moon that Iris had accidentally uncovered while trying to discover the current whereabouts of Cyn Smith and Ashley Sanders.
By the time I finished, several emotions had passed over the other two alphas. Still, I got the distinct impression they were equally bewildered by the sheer scope of this andpissedI had not said anything to either of them. Frankly, I didn’t care. It wasn’t my father’s business. Though I could see how Remus might think it was his — I hadn’t come up with an entirely logical explanation for not lettinghimin on it yet.
My father was the first to speak. “If you had come to me sooner,” he said, clearly trying to keep his emotions out of his voice, “we could have helped you, Eli.”
I shook my head. “I still wasn’t sure what was happening,” I argued. “I didn’t want anyone else to get involved and become a target.”And I didn’t want to look like an abject moron if I was wrong, either.
“Eli—”
I shook my head again. “The more people who know, the more easily we could tip our paw and alertwhoever this isthat we’re on to them. We might never get answers if they go underground before we can find them and relocate.” I didn’t even have to make that bit up; as soon as Iris had explained that to me, I could see she was completely right.
