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I haven’t been able to bring myself to even go into my room since the night I spent with Ava. Her smell lingers on my sheets and in the air, and I want to preserve it for as long as possible. I know it sounds insane, but just having the smell keeps me sane.
I thought it’d be easier to go back to my life before I ever laid eyes on Ava, but it hasn’t. If anything, it’s gotten harder. Every day is a means to an end. Moving around on autopilot: shower, eat, watch some TV, rinse, and repeat. I’ve never been so angry that I don’t have a job to go to or something else to take my mind off the gaping hole inside my chest.
“I miss her.”
“How can you miss someone you barely know?”
I really fucking hate him right now.
“How do you know how to breathe when you’re born?”
“You just do,” he responds, barely above a whisper, finally understanding what I’m feeling.
His now-wife, Pearl, was his high school sweetheart, but before he asked her out, the school jock and resident bully whisked her away. Clayton had to watch the two of them fall in love and even get engaged before graduation.
Thankfully, Pearl’s ex is a real douchebag. Cheated on her, then divorced her, leaving her with nothing while taking the company she helped build from the ground up. Call it fate or something else, but somehow she ended up applying for a job to be Clayton’s secretary, and the rest is history.
“How did you deal with it?” I choke out as the pain engulfs me once again.
I want to scream at the top of my lungs, destroy everything breakable in my house, anything to make this deep ache in my soul go away. But I know there is only one thing that can stop it: Ava.
“You don’t.” He sighs. “I wish I had better news for you, but you just learn how to exist with it. You move through life hoping that fate might throw you a bone and put her in your path again.”
I try to imagine dealing with this pain for the rest of my life, wondering if there was anything I could have done for us to be together.
You can’t give up.
The tiny voice in my mind chants as hope sparks in my soul for the first time since she left. Hope that there’s still a chance to make her mine. There must be some way I can convince her to give us a chance. She doesn’t have to give up anything to be with me. The only thing I ask is for her heart. Now I just need to come up with a plan to win her over.
“You’re scheming, aren’t you?”
“Of course.” I chuckle softly. My friend knows me too well. “How are your hacking skills?”
I’ve never been one to back down from a challenge, and Ava is worth the risk. She’s the only person who holds my heart. My only worry is if I find the courage to give it to her, she’ll throw it back in my face.
“As sharp as ever.” There’s excitement in Clayton’s voice as I detail my plan to win Ava’s heart.
I need something big to get her attention, but nothing too flashy. Ava is a quiet, reserved person, meticulously planning every aspect of her life. If I do anything drastic, it will send her running in the opposite direction. But with Clayton’s help, I’ll be able to gather all the information I need to ensure that next time I see Ava, she knows exactly how I feel, and hopefully, she feels the same way too.
“This is completely insane, but I like it.” I can hear the clacking of the keys as his fingers fly over the keyboard. “I should have all the information you need before I leave the office.”
“Good. I need to make my move before she convinces herself this is all insane.” I sigh.
“Itisinsane.” Clayton chuckles. “Who gets on a plane and falls in love?”
“The same people who have their high school sweetheart show up on their doorstep freshly divorced and asking for a job.”
“Touché,” he responds before hanging up the phone and leaving me with my own thoughts.
With a renewed sense of purpose, I push off the sofa and head out the door. I need to grab some groceries and a few other things before setting my plan in motion.
I have a plan, but I have no idea if it’ll win me Ava’s heart. But with fate on my side, how can I fail?
CHAPTERNINE
AVA
It’s been a week since I’ve seen or talked to Callen. I wanted space to think about our time together, but I assumed he’d call. Maybe even send flowers to get my attention, but I haven’t even gotten a text. Hell, I’d settle for a smoke signal at this point. Anything to let me know he was interested in having a relationship with me.
