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It was long past midnight when I settled into the great room of the library. I’d called the queen and updated her about her salty female child and let her know Liv had been in contact. Then I’d sat down with Fen, the previously mentioned salty princess, and Trent and we’d eaten Eddie’s fabulous tenderloin with mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, asparagus, and big puffy, buttery rolls. And I’d eaten most of a chocolate pie on my own.
After the days I’d spent eating nothing but sandwiches without all the condiments I usually put on them, the diversity of food choices was welcome. And by choice, I don’t mean I actually chose. I ate all of it. Even the veggies because I was supposed to be thinking about nutrition.
Casey sank down to the seat across from me at the big conference table. He was carrying his laptop and a couple of books. His former T-shirts were gone, and in their place were button-downs and khakis. His emo hair had been tamed, and all he was missing was a pair of glasses to complete his academic wardrobe.
This was a far more serious Casey than the goofball I’d left behind, and that made my heart ache.
“You seem much more comfortable.” Casey sent me a smile. “I would say Trent is as well. He’s missed you. You should know Gray’s missed you, too, but it’s hard for him to show it. Emotionally, he’s had to shut down in order to do what he’s had to do.”
At this point it was only me and Casey. Trent had shown me to the library and then went off to find Fenrir and Evan, who’d disappeared after dinner. Rufus was bringing in his top off-plane specialist, a vampire named Alvis. The library was quiet, though I’d seen some primals working in the stacks.
The fact that there was a magnificent library so far underground was proof that the primals had control of some serious magic. I’d been told it was both Fae and Earth-centered witch magic. Part of the magic included the way the lights worked. In our bedroom there were almost human-looking lights that turned off and on, but there were spaces in the nest where the light came from above, as though from a gentle sun. Even the ceiling in some spaces looked like the sky at night, and I’d been told it would change to a vibrant blue with puffy white clouds.
The primals had found a way to bring light to their darkness, to enjoy a semblance of the outside world even in the safety of their caves.
I wondered if Gray ever saw the sun in Hell.
“You’re talking about being a focal point for Lucifer.” Casey would be a good source of information. I worried Trent was holding back on how bad things were.
“Yes. I’m going to be honest. I haven’t spent much time with Gray,” Casey admitted. “When I fled the Council building, I was forced underground for a few years. I was brought here and not allowed to leave.”
“What? Why?”
“Because Henri thought I was being unreasonable. This nest was the first refuge for the academics, and you should understand that all academics were declared enemies of the state whether or not we offered to remain neutral. On several occasions academics were lured out of hiding with promises of protection in exchange for neutrality. They disappeared.”
I was glad Henri took a hard line with Casey’s safety. Henri was Casey’s sponsor. It was part mentor with a pinch of dad thrown in. “You wanted to try to get protection from Myrddin?”
He hesitated for a moment and then his reply came in a soft, almost aching tone. “I wanted to find Liv.”
Well, there was the answer to one question. I didn’t think he would have fled with no thought for her. “She thinks you abandoned her.”
His jaw tightened. “That’s ridiculous. I had to be carried out of the Council building because I wouldn’t leave without her. Henri and Hugo dragged me out. Myrddin’s forces were actively killing vampires, and they wouldn’t allow me to stay. I fought but… It took me months to forgive them. Now I understand. Liv has had many chances to leave. We’ve seen each other. I’ve pled my case.”
Liv hadn’t mentioned that to me. She’d made it sound like he’d forgotten her. I had to wonder if that was manipulation or if she had another point of view. “When did you see her?”
“When she offered me protection in exchange for a promise of staying out of the war,” he said with the saddest smile. “I would have done it, too, if it had been real. I would have done it so I could be close to her, so I could have tried to save her. I only survived that day because Gray saved me. I don’t even know why he was there, but he showed up and gave Henri and Hugo time to get me away and bring me back here. I didn’t try to leave them again. I didn’t realize what had truly happened, what she’d done.”
My heart ached for him. “What had she done? Trent mentioned a word for her. Profane.”
Casey nodded. “Yes. The Profane are Myrddin’s elite witches. There are three of them, and they live in the upper levels of the Council building, from what we can tell. They are the only ones allowed into the penthouse where Myrddin lives with his familiars. It’s possible they’re his concubines.”
My stomach clenched at the thought, and this time my nausea had nothing to do with the baby growing inside me. “She’s sleeping with him?”
“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t be shocked.”
“She said something about what she gave up. Did she give up her soul?”
“Yes, though not wholly, and not in the way you are familiar with.” Casey seemed to go into an almost professorial mode, shutting down the emotions that had played on his face. “Myrddin keeps a piece of Olivia’s soul in a jar somewhere. I’m not sure where, but it’s not the Council building. I know because we have spies who have confirmed it. We believe if we can find those jars, we could potentially turn the Profane back to our side.”
I’d known it was coming, but having it confirmed that Liv had given up a piece of her soul still hit me hard. I needed some kind of a plan, and that meant getting as much information as I could. “Potentially? I would rather deal in certainty, but I would probably take any shot I had.”
“One aspect of the spell is a willingness on the part of the person giving up the soul,” Casey explained. “You need to understand that Liv doesn’t have a thrall stone in her head. She wasn’t coerced. She chose this path. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s the reality of it. I still love her, but I’ve had to step back and realize I’m not sure I can save her.”
“You’re just pissy because she tried to kill you,” I replied with sympathy. “I get it. She apparently tried to trap my son and the royal kids. But I’m not willing to give up on her. I say we catch her and torture her. She’ll either break and become our Liv again or I’ll feel fine because I get to torture her for being an asshole. Either way, we win.”
“Goddess, I’ve missed you. You have no idea how uptight I’ve become without you…or her. Losing Liv and you being missing, it’s been harder than anything I’ve gone through, including death and the turn.” He went still for a moment as though he needed to find some control. “My family before my turn wasn’t the most loving. My parents divorced when I graduated from high school, and they were both done with the family thing by then. They paid for college but made excuses to why I shouldn’t come home for holidays. Even when they were together, they didn’t pay much attention to me. Henri is the closest thing I have to a father. Hell, that’s not even right. He’s more of a father to me than I’ve ever had. You were more of a sister. Henri wouldn’t let… I thought about walking into the light. I mean that in a non-literal sense, of course, given my status as an academic. It’s not that easy for us, but it’s a nicer phrase than walking onto a stake.”
