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“I get it,” Logan muttered, and gave a deep sigh. “Yeah, thanks, Benj, for trying. Yeah, he’s here…” Logan glanced my way.
I shook my head. There was no way I wanted to talk to him. No way I wanted to hear that desperation in his voice, the one that said the unthinkable,that she was gone…just like that.Gone.
“Talk to him,” Logan demanded, as he shoved the phone my way. “He’s your father, Laz.”
I jerked my gaze to his, fighting that bark of rage inside me. Iknowhe’s my goddamn father…
I stared at the cell, then took it. “I’m here.” The hoarse voice sounded nothing like mine.
“How are you holding up?”
“Fueled by rage and desperation,” I answered.
“Good. Sometimes that’s all you have in your arsenal…but just know this, son, you can’t live like that forever. Sooner or later, everything catches up with you.”
I clenched my jaw, but still my lip curled.
He was wrong.
I could live forever like this.
Bloodthirsty. Immortal.Violent.
“You’re scaring me, Laz,” Dad murmured.
That fanged serpent inside slithered under my skin. I could feel her working her way to the surface, evolving me…changing me. “I’m scaring me, too.”
The empty words were all I had to offer. I handed the phone back to Logan and strode ahead, making my way to my building, listening to Logan as he muttered a few words of comfort and hung up.
Bright lights in the foyer were blinding, making me squint and look away. I couldn’t remember the last time I'd slept…the last time I'd wanted to sleep. Food was shoved into my hand, but I couldn’t force myself to eat. The taste of coffee struck my lips. That’s all I had now, the adrenaline…the rush.
I refused to function without her.
Refused to know what peace was.
Refused the idea of any type of existence where there was anything other than torment without her.
I swallowed hard and punched the button for the elevator, then stepped inside as the doors opened, and Logan followed. I stared at the shimmering steel walls. “He couldn’t find a way to get us in, could he?”
“They don’t like outsiders, especially outsiders who want a piece of their investigation.”
I jerked my gaze to his, that fire burning inside me. “But they’renotinvestigating.”
He just nodded. “It’s how they work.”
I clenched my jaw. We’d gone to the Mauritian police and handed over everything we knew. We'd begged them to let us assist. But the moment they knew who Kat really was, they'd clammed up, refusing our calls, ignoring our pleas. I clenched my fists. Word was, Hale was all over them, whispering in their ears, forcing us out into the damn cold.
Then congratulations are in order, it looks like I’m about to be a father…
A father.
Jesus, Kat…why?
The elevator stopped and the doors opened as the word resounded in my head. I stepped out into a flurry of voices as Logan’s phonebeepedonce more.
“What have you got?” His command was instant.
It was the same words I’d heard a hundred times, words that repeated in my head when I closed my eyes, fighting for snatches of sleep. For the first hundred times, I'd gotten my hopes up. But not now, after call after call of no word as Logan’s team made their way through the many fucking islands.
