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“Yes.”
There was a flare of confusion, before he answered carefully. “I’d die for him.”
“Out of duty?” I pushed, trying to figure out how much a man like Logan was worth.
He slowed his steps, those careful eyes fixed on mine. “Out of loyalty and love.”
Loyalty and love.
I just gave a nod and walked the rest of the way in silence. Loyalty and love. Both of them were alien to me…and terrifying. I strode into my building and glanced at the guard positioned to protect us tonight, leaving Logan in the foyer near the door as I stopped at the elevator and turned. “Logan.”
He glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
His smile was quick. “You’re welcome. Goodnight, Kat.”
“Night.” I gave a small smile and stepped onto the elevator.
They were nice.Really fucking nice.I probed my lips with my fingers, remembering the way Lazarus had felt. Hot and hard, melting under my kiss. I was swept away by him and plunged into the kind of depth I’d never felt before. There was fire in those blue eyes of his, fire and lust.
And I wanted to use him…and his father.
Don’t get attached,the voice in my head warned as the doors opened into our apartment. Lights flickered in the darkness as I stepped forward into the living room, lights that rose into the night. I stepped toward the windows, watching the helicopter rise and slowly disappear.
Don’t get attached? I pressed my lips together remembering how swept away I’d been in that moment, howdangeroushe made me feel. That same heat found me again, like a beast prowling through my body, smashing through closed and chained doors into darkened rooms.
Use him,that voice whispered in my head.Use him and we’re gone.
He wouldn’t care, he wouldn’t even notice when I was gone. I nodded, driving that thought home, and came back to reality. Anna’s bedroom was dark and quiet. I wasn’t sure if she was asleep or with Finley. So I made my way quietly into my bedroom and undressed in the bathroom before stepping into the shower.
I would use Lazarus…and anyone else I had to.
I lowered my hand to my belly and skimmed my fingers across my skin. I’d use them because I had no other choice.Do I need to take care of that Hale, or that asshole Zakharov?Lazarus’s words filled me as I ran the sponge across my skin and over my shoulders, imagining the idea of that.
Threats.
Intimidation.
Would they work? Maybe, coming from a Rossi.
They had a reputation of being dangerous…and I had a feeling Lazarus would be every bit the bad boy I thought him to be. I dropped my head, feeling the heat of the water rush over my body as that ache of desire sparked.
Loyalty and love.
My fingers found my breasts, remembering the way he'd felt underneath me as I'd danced. I'd wanted him then…and still wanted him. But the thought of him over me sent shivers along my spine. I never wanted to be used like that. I never wanted to be hurt like that. Never again…never again.
Haelstrom hurt me like that. I could still feel his hand on the back of my neck, still feel how he held me down and used my body, still feel how his voice in my ear filled me with terror…the kind of terror I'd had with Damon. I hit the faucet and ended the spray. Stepping out, I wrapped a towel around my body and went into the bedroom, slipping into my pajamas before climbing into bed.
I tried to sleep, closing my eyes to the image of Lazarus.
Love and loyalty.
I wondered how much that might cost?
* * *
The next day was a blur.The skies darkened, leaving the clear blue skies behind for dark, broody clouds. I kept myself busy, forcing myself to attend the classes while I watched everyone else around me. The classes were slowly becoming more and more empty. Vacant seats sat visible in every row.
