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I thank Allan, finish my beer, and drive by the home I share with Trixie. Cars in the driveway, which means Trixie isn’t alone, so I drive off and head for my apartment.
When I get in, I set my alarm clock for seven. Tomorrow we’re going to finally talk, I will make her listen to me, make her understand me and what’s going on. I can’t lose Trixie. She’s my life.
Chapter 11
Trix
Everything hurts. “Oh God, how much did I drink last night?” I ask myself, sitting up in my bed. I notice someone’s left a few pills and a glass of water on my nightstand, along with a note.
Hey Trixilicious,
Sorry, you made us call you that all night. LOL. Anyways, the girls and I cleaned the place up for you and took off early this morning. We’ll chat later today, promise! Take the Midol and aspirin and make sure you keep hydrated, you literally drank an entire bottle of vodka. Fingers crossed you don’t barf.
Lilly
Okay, no wonder I feel like shit. I haven’t drunk this much in years. I grab the pills and the water and gulp it down, trying not to throw up. I can’t stand taking pills, I always gag something awful. Surprisingly, the pill went right down without any issues. Huh, maybe I’m finally getting the hang of the pill thing.
I go to lay back down in bed to try and sleep off the hangover but can’t, since someone is going crazy at my front door. Going back and forth between knocking and ringing the damn bell.
“For fuck sake! Knock it off!” I shout as I open the door. “Oh, hell no.” I go to close it again when I see Chris standing there, but he blocks it with his shoe.
“Let me in, Trixie, we need to talk. And when did you change the locks on the door?” he demands, shoving the door open and stepping inside.
I didn’t change the locks, I’m assuming the girls called one of the guys over while I was sleeping to do it. I’ve gotta remember to thank them for it.
“There’s nothing we need to talk about, not anymore. Time for talking was months ago, when this bullshit all started, or better yet when it first fucking happened!” I shriek at him.
His face is pained and he just stares at me. “You have to believe me, Trix, I never meant for any of this to happen. God, when Lola died, everything went to hell.”
“You don’t have to tell me that, I know it all went to hell, I was the one that had to carry a child inside me and still give birth to her when she was dead.”
“We’re going to sit down, and I’m finally telling you everything, please let me do that. We’ve been together for ten years Trixie, eight years of marriage.Please.”
I clench my jaw and nod. “I’ll hear you out Chris, but no promises I’ll ever forgive you.”
“I’ll take what I can get.”
I sit down on the couch and he sits next to me. I’m almost tempted to move to the chair but he puts a stop to that by grabbing my hands.
“It was while we were planning Lola’s funeral. I went to the bar, you know the one with the hotel attached to it?”
I nod, remembering his text that night saying he was sleeping off his drunken night, and I didn’t mind. Before I got pregnant with Lola, we did that often enough.
“The guys from work were there, so we got to drinking together, and I was three sheets to the wind, so I don’t remember much of it. The last thing I remember is the world spinning as I got into the elevator and Lacey was there too. Next thing I know I wake up the next morning and I’m in bed naked, and she’s laying there too.”
“Wait, so you don’t know if you actually slept with her? Maybe you didn’t. Maybe that child isn’t yours.” I’m trying to be hopeful.
He shakes his head. “Honestly, if it wasn’t for us losing Lola, I would have told you right away, I promise you that, but you and I both had bigger things to deal with and I didn’t want to add to it. Instead, I let the guilt eat me alive. And I had to have slept with her, Trix. The night before I left … that’s when I got the results of the DNA test. Lita is mine.”
My head drops, there is no way we can move on from this. I feel punched in the gut.
“Trixie, please look at me.” My eyes find his, tears filling both our eyes. “I love you, I only left because I was trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do about this. Everything is so fucked up. You have to know I’m taking Lacey to court and getting custody of that little girl, and first thing I’m doing is changing her name. I couldn’t believe it when Lacey told me her name. I about killed her.”
“I believe you, but I don’t know, Chris. This is just too much. That little girl, that should have beenours. Not my husband the cheat’s child, butmine.”
“I know, Trixie, I never meant for any of this to happen. The worst part, when I was looking at Lita’s baby pictures, her and Lola are practically identical. It killed me.”
More pain. The more he talks, the more pain tears through me. I don’t want to hear anymore. I can’t do this. He is taking what little there is left of my heart and shattering it.
