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I almost feel guilty, though, as if I’m cheating on Caden right now. I fell for him so hard and fast, I didn’t even give Dray a second thought, but now here I am, alone in a car with him as we drive to the beach, and my stomach has butterflies in it.
I’m so torn.
Should I try to give Dray a second chance, give Mikayla what she deserves, both her parents together? My head is torn.
I hand him the sandwiches as we sit down, across from each other, at the picnic table and he hastily takes them, eating them quickly, only glancing at me when he notices I’m not touching my own.
“You’re not hungry?” he asks, frowning.
I shake my head. “No,” I sigh, “This is a bit awkward.”
“It’s only awkward if you make it that way, pretty sure you did that before you even got into my car.”
I frown at him. “What do you mean by that?”
“Kissing that asshole in front of me?” He's starting to get angry, and this isn’t what I wanted tonight.
“Look, you have to understand that he’s a part of my life now, that’s not going to change.” And it’s not, even if I decide to not be with Caden, he’s part of my dad’s club, we'll always be in each other’s lives in some way.
“I wish I could change that.” He takes a napkin and wipes his face, tossing it on the table. “I love you, Melissa. Yeah, I fucked up, we both know how badly I fucked up. But I’m here, I want a chance to make this right. Right with you, be there for my kid. I just want a chance to prove myself to you.”
I swallow as I feel the tears coming. “Dray, I still love you, too, but this is so much more complicated now.”
“What’s complicated about this? You just told me you still love me.”
“Because I love him too,” I confess.
His face gets red and he leans forward. “Bullshit!You’ve only known him a few months, you’ve known me since you were eighteen. That’s gotta count for something.”
“It does, Dray. I just don’t know what I want right now. When I think about him leaving me, I feel as if my heart is shattering, but when I think about you, I just ... I just miss you so damn much. I’m so torn.”
His face falls at my words. “This what you wanted to talk about then? Wanted to let me know you weren’t breaking up with him?”
“No, actually um, I was hoping we could date. But not exclusively, well, yes, but no. Shit, this isn’t making sense. I want to date you both of you.”
He stares at me in shock, trying to absorb my words. He clears his throat after the silence stretches on for too long. “What’s he think of this?”
I bite my lip. “It was his idea actually.”
His eyes bug out so much I’m scared for a moment they’ll fall out. “Are you serious? How can he be okay with this?”
“He just wants what is best for me.”
“What’s best for you would to just be with me, we both know it.”
“So, you’re saying no?”
I can hear his teeth grinding as he glares at me. “A smart man would say fuck this and leave, but if this is the only way I can have you, for now, I’ll go along with it.” He stands up and walks around the table.
As I’m about to ask him what the hell he’s doing, he pulls me up from my seat and slams his mouth down on mine. As his tongue finds mine, I groan. “Fuck, I missed this,” he mumbles against my lips.
Chapter 31
Slammer
“Slow down, shitface. Thought things were going good with you and my kid.”
“I fucked up. Told her to give that bastard a shot, and I saw him kiss her. So I'm drinking myself stupid until I lose the urge to blow his goddamned head off.” Anara showed up at the house to take over babysitting duties after I got a call from Rage letting me know the club was having a party after Church. As I drove out here to the clubhouse, I took the long way, and what I saw on that beach, fuck, I wanted to kill. I wanted to go right over there and rip them apart.
