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I’ve never done more than kiss a guy before. I mean, we’ve made out and things got pretty heavy a couple of times. But I’ve never let a guy go down on me. I’ve never gotten as close to having sex with somebody as I did today. And if his assistant hadn’t come knocking on the door, I probably would have let him slide that beautiful, hard cock into me. Even now, I feel a quiver through my center and a vague, aching longing for him. I’ve never wanted to sleep with somebody as much as I want to sleep with Silas.
It's not that I’m a prude or anything. I’m not a girl with an old-fashioned notion of romance or waiting for marriage to give myself to somebody. It’s nothing like that, although honestly, it might be nice to go back to a time when a man actually took the time to woo a woman with hearts and flowers and poetry. If a time like that even existed and isn’t just something I made up in my own head. It would be nice though.
But time marches on and with my life the way it is—always hustling, always worried, and always trying to find a way to make ends meet—love and sex are the furthest things from my mind. Other than the night he kissed me in my place, I can’t even remember the last time I masturbated. My life isn’t set up in a way that puts any sort of importance on human connection or personal pleasure.
But today… that just kind of rocked me from head to toe. It turned a lot of the things I’ve believed on their head. I mean, I’m not looking to run off and get married. And I’m certainly not saying that I’m now dying to be Silas’ girlfriend or something. But getting that brief taste of human connection, that small hit of passion… it’s left me wanting more. It’s inspired a craving inside of me I’ve never had before.
Honestly, it scares the shit out of me. But at the same time, it excites me in ways I’ve never felt before. It fills me with a heat and an energy, with a vitality that is entirely new to me and has left me not just wanting more, but needing it. From him and him alone. So much more. I have no idea where that leaves me but today definitely changed something inside of me.
“Look at that smile. It’s so pretty,” a familiar voice says. “I’ve always said you’ve got a pretty smile.”
The sound of his voice makes my stomach clench and sends a hot rush of adrenaline surging through my veins. I feel the tremor in my hands but not wanting Lucas to see it, I cross my arms over my chest. He’s leaning against my building casually, his hands thrust deep into his pockets, a roguish grin on his face.
He’s standing between me and the sidewalk that will lead me to the front of my building. Even if I tried to move around him, he’d be able to cut me off and force me back into the darkened shadows of the parking lot. And in this part of town, not only is there not a lot of foot traffic, it’s the sort of place where nobody sees or hears a thing. In this part of town, there’s no sense of community. You really are on your own.
“L—Lucas—I—”
“And what could have you smilin’ so wide, darlin’?” he asks.
“Nothing. What do you want?”
“Oh, come on now, Aria. It’s not nothing,” he says. “Nothing can’t put a smile on your face like that. It’s got to be something. What is it?”
“Leave it alone, Lucas,” I snap. “Now, what do you want from me?”
He chuckles and it’s a slow, menacing sound that sends fingers of ice trailing down my spine. The hair on the back of my neck stands on end and my heart stutters drunkenly in my chest. He stares at me like a snake eyeing its prey and I have to fight to keep myself from trembling. But my pulse is racing, and I can feel my eye twitch.
I’m normally not so bold when speaking to Lucas—something about him makes me feel small. Makes me feel submissive. But it's like being with Silas today infused me with a sense of courage. A sense of strength I’ve never felt before. For the first time since I met him, I feel like I can stand up for myself with Lucas. Though I’m still afraid of him, it feels like that fear is slightly…diminished. It’s a heady feeling, but I like it. I like it a lot.
“What do I want from you?” Lucas asks. “I want to know what’s got you smilin’ so big, Aria. I want to know what’s got you feeling so giddy.”
“It’s none of your business. Nothing about my life is your business.”
He strokes his chin, those reptilian eyes still boring into me. I can see the wheels in his brain spinning and know he’s trying to solve the riddle he’s made up in his mind. The sound of Lucas snapping his fingers makes me flinch and sends another rush of adrenaline through me as my body prepares to fight or flee, but then he laughs.
“It’s that big fella from the bar. The one who suckerpunched me, right?” Lucas asks. “You got somethin’ going on with him, don’t you?”
“Leave it alone, Lucas.”
“Yeah, that’s what it is. That’s got to be it. That’s why he got so protective of you,” he says. “That’s it, right? You and that guy?”
My arms still folded over my chest, I try to move around Lucas but as expected, he steps in front of me, cutting me off from the sidewalk. I stifle a cry as I dance back, stepping out of his reach and scowl at him. He chuckles and fear grips me tight, making my stomach cramp.
“Who is he? The big guy?” Lucas asks.
“What do you want, Lucas?”
“Are you fucking him?”
“Leave it alone.”
He flashes me a grin. “You are, aren’t you? You’re fucking that guy.”
“What do you want from me, Lucas?”
I didn’t mean to shout, but it burst from my throat and my voice echoes around the empty parking lot. Lucas just shakes his head and as he stares at me, that smile on his face fades. The expression on his face is predatory and he looks at me less like prey and more like a possession. He takes a step closer to me, sending my heart racing. I step back as he moves closer and can’t stifle the whimper that falls from my lips when I back into the wall behind me.
Lucas quickly steps closer, the tip of his nose mere inches from mine. The stench of stale cigarettes and Axe body spray fills my nose, making me gag. I’m trapped between him and the wall. I’ve got nowhere to go. I shudder as the chills sweep across my body and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying out.
