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22
Nick
Idon't know what had come over Betty, but it was quite clear that something was different. She let me pull her close when we were dancing, and I could have sworn that she was making innuendos that really threw me off. I had told myself that any way that I could have her would be enough, realized and internalized that I couldn't have her just yet, but then she went and changed the rules.
One minute I was desperately wanting and the next I was coming to grips with the chance that I wasn't going to have her in the way that I wanted. And now she was flirting with me again, pressing her body up against me as we danced. If I didn't know any better, I would say that she was purposely trying to drive me crazy.
I definitely started to believe it was true when she came by the house a little bit later. We were supposed to meet there, and she hadn't taken too long, but she had gotten dressed in a different way than she usually did. No longer was there a natural look that seemed effortless. This time she had put on some makeup and her clothes were a bit skimpier than before.
Of course, my mind was going a mile a minute, convincing myself that she wanted me. She was ready. Mind you, she hadn’t been ready for all of her twenty-something years on the planet, but today, that was the day.
It wasn’t all that accurate, but it made me feel better. When I grinned at her, most likely with a whole lot of need and desire on my face, she looked away, like she was too embarrassed to look at me. I had to wonder why.
“You look, different.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
I told her that it wasn't a bad thing at all. There was going to be consequences, though. As much as I liked to think that I was immune and strong enough to ignore all the desires that cut at me, that wasn't necessarily true. My body had no problem reacting immediately to her new look, which in turn, made my mind spiral out of control.
“It was just spur of the moment thing. Don't make such a big deal out of it.”
I told her that I wouldn’t, but of course I was. I was playing an investigator, trying to piece together the puzzle that I was sure she was laying out for me. I didn't even know if it was complete or all the pieces were there, but I was trying my damnedest to put it together.
“I'm not. Are you coming in?”
She agreed and I took her hand in mine. I don't know what it was, but there was such a real feeling with her, so pure and not so easy to understand. I wanted to pretend like I didn't have to understand it.
When we got in the house, she looked around and I gave her the name of a couple of movies to see which one she wanted to watch. I didn't know what she was into and was rather relieved when she picked the new adventure one over a rom-com that I wasn't looking forward to. I had just gotten what the lady at the rental place told me was doing well. The one title that I wanted to watch, she picked and once again, I was trying to convince myself that it had to be fate.
We popped some popcorn and had a couple of drinks together. I'm not going to say that I made them overly-strong, but they certainly weren't lacking in the good part. It wasn’t just her that needed a drink, I needed one as well. She was hard to be around, especially knowing that I couldn't touch her. I was still thinking about the time she had let me touch her and I wanted to get back there.
It was so innocent for quite some time. We were sitting next to each other. I was getting into the movie and Betty kept shifting next to me, so I would look over and notice pretty quickly that she wasn't paying attention to the movie. She was obviously occupied with something else, but at the same time, I knew that asking might be the wrong thing to do. Maybe I would not be able to handle the answer.
Finally, she laid her head on my shoulder and I just melted inside. I'm not going to say that I wasn't sporting a rock hard one, but there was something else there. It was hard to notice, buried under all the unfulfilled lust that I had for her, but it was definitely there. If I didn't know any better, I would think that I actually had fallen for her. That I actually loved her.
The very thought of it kind of blew me away. Never before had I even thought that in my own head. I certainly had never said it out loud, but I was definitely feeling it now. What was this hold that she had over me, and was it as dangerous as it felt?
Suddenly, I was the one that was quiet and she asked me if everything was okay. It made me chuckle.
“What?”
“You have no idea.”
“What is it?”
“You just don't understand how badly I want to touch you. I want to. I promised that I wouldn't come back, but it's going to be harder than I thought. I am okay, but not. You know?”
She surprised me with a simple grin and put her head back on my shoulder. It was good to feel the warmth, as well as the softness of her curves pressing into me. Possibly, I didn't want it to feel that good, because it was dangerous. She was dangerous and the desire that she brought out in me was unnatural. How could I trust myself to be anywhere around her, when I so easily had lost myself before?
We sat like that for another ten or twenty minutes. I hadn't been paying attention to the movie in quite some time and now I was aware of every little thing that she did. Every time that she breathed just a little bit more than before, I was looking over, wondering and waiting for something. Some sign or something of that nature. I really had no idea what I was looking for. This was unknown territory for me.
It was about halfway through the movie and Betty was obviously the restless sort. I hadn't noticed that about her before and again, I had to wonder if her restlessness was tied to my own. Why did I so desperately want her to be just as affected? That would have made it easier for my own feelings, if they weren't just directed out into the world with nothing coming back.
Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, I couldn't be pushed to the edge any further, she slid a little lower down where she was leaning against me and finally put her head in my lap. She was now laying on her back, instead of on her side. Betty wasn’t looking at the screen at all.
“Do you not like the movie?”
She insisted that she did, it just wasn't one that needed to be watched.
