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4
Betty
“So, wait, you're telling me that we don't even live in the city?”
I have to admit, that was a bit of a let-down. Billings was already ridiculously small, but as the car went out of the city and towards the flat land surrounding it, I had to wonder where we were going. Mountains were off in the distance, and I knew then that I was no longer in L.A. Everything was different and country life was not something that I had agreed to. It didn’t get much more country than this place.
“It’s going to be fine, Betty. You don’t usually complain like this. What is really on your mind?”
I knew that she was right. It wasn’t just the move, but breaking up with Derek was still bothering me. He had pressured me into things that I didn’t want to do. When I wouldn’t agree to do them, he broke up with me. Now that I was out of Los Angeles, I missed him. It was stupid and made no sense, yet that’s how it was.
“It’s just a lot going on, that’s all. I don’t know if I am going to be able to find a job, and before you say anything, I know that you don’t think I should have one. But I want one. You said I could have whatever I wanted, and this is it. How can I do this here, though?”
I wasn’t looking for a real answer. I was actually just trying to say it out loud, make my own decisions.
“You will do whatever you set your mind to, Betty. I know that you think this career thing is going to work for you, but why can’t marriage be the next step? You know I want grandchildren, though they will have to call me their aunt or something.”
I just shook my head and didn’t even comment. Sometimes, she really didn’t understand what was going on. It felt like this was one of those times, and it would do no good to take the conversation any further.
“I am not looking to get married, Mom. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I don’t.”
“Well, at least date. You need to open yourself up to new experiences, Betty. It would help you feel like you have control over it. Derek was a while ago, and it’s time for you to move on.”
Mom was always telling me that I needed to get a man. It would solve all of my problems; she was sure of it. I don’t know why it meant so much to her and when I asked, she would say the same thing. She wanted me to have more experience. With what? I had no idea.
“It will happen when it happens, Mom.”
“It needs to happen soon. There is a lot of money and good families that live here. Find a good man and stop worrying about the future.”
That was her answer to everything. I just nodded my head like I was actually going to listen to her. She was always trying to give me wisdom balls. I knew better than to actually take them, though.
I agreed, because I didn’t want to argue with her, and watched the scenery playing out through the passenger’s side. I found it better not to ask any more questions. I saw some nice houses, big houses in the distance, and I knew that was where we were going. Leave it to my mom, to find the grandest place that she could get her hands on.
When she pulled in and the gates opened, I sat back up and started to pay attention. The name of the subdivision was Sterling Heights, and I don’t know how I felt about it. It looked small, less than a hundred houses and as she drove through to the back of the large property, I knew that there were going to be bigger houses ahead. I wanted to think that it wouldn’t be so bad, but it just looked boring. I bet they didn’t even have good music here.
She pulled in front of one and it was slightly bigger than the rest. It always was and she smiled.
“It looks great, doesn’t it?”
I agreed and wondered about her smile. It was bigger than mine. I would have thought that mom would have hated Montana as much as I hated the thought of it, but she wasn’t looking that way at all. It looked like she was actually looking forward to the move. Again, I had to wonder why, but I was just going to have to wait for it to all come off in the wash. Then, maybe I would understand better what’s going on.
As soon as we opened the door, I heard loud music. I looked around and wondered where it was coming from. It made me smile. It wasn’t anything that I’d heard before, but I instantly loved it. This was my kind of music.
Mom didn’t agree. Her face wrinkled up like she had smelled something rotten and she shook her head. “Gosh, that sounds as bad as that music you used to listen to in high school. This is horrible.”
Mom was never going to appreciate good music, and I guess I was going to have to be okay with that. Our moods shifted and I was convinced if music was playing like that, maybe Montana had a soul after all. Mom thought that maybe we should have gotten something more secluded. We were very much different.
“I can't believe that somebody would be playing that kind of music way out here. When we get in, I'll make sure to call the police and have them go over there and say something to them. I just can't imagine.”
I could imagine my mom actually doing that, though, and besides being completely embarrassed, I didn't want us to be known as the family that caused trouble for others. My mom had a tendency to blow things out of proportion, and I really thought that this was one of those times. The music sounded good and I told her just to leave it be.
“I'm sure it's just someone having a bad day. We shouldn't make it any worse by calling the cops on them. It’s not that loud.”
Mom didn't want to agree but she finally did, and I was glad for it. I didn't think that us being introduced to the neighborhood like that would be a good thing. I was thinking about the future, even though I kept telling myself I wasn't going to stay in Montana long. At first, I thought that I was going to be able to convince my mom into moving back, but now that she was acting like it was the best place ever, I didn't think that she was going to be on my side. I can't express how upsetting that was.
When we got inside, I was feeling a little bit better about the whole situation. Maybe it wasn't going to be as bad as it seemed. Maybe there were some normal people there in Montana that were like me. They had probably been dragged there by their parents or something. I couldn't think of any other scenario that would find a person so far out from the rest of the world.
The music played for a little while longer and it really kept my spirits up. I had several engagements that I didn't want to be a part of, but I got ready, nonetheless. I knew better than to argue. If they wanted to have a party to introduce us, who was I to question it? Maybe I would meet some interesting people at the party. I was hoping that we would meet the neighbor, the one that was playing the music. I would be able to ask them about it. I’d never heard it before and wanted to know who it was.
Everything about Montana was looking up. It sounded crazy, but that's what good music could do. Just hearing it made me think that it wouldn't be so bad. I always tried to be an optimist, and it was a little easier now. Something good would come of this for sure.
