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“Maybe Chelsea felt bad and decided to make it right.”
Kimberly actually began chuckling like I’d just said the funniest thing. “Yeah, right. You know that I don't even believe that. I told you not to do that, Dennis.”
“I know, but that's what she should have done. She shouldn’t have done it in the first place, so I thought I would fix it.”
“That's the problem with you, Dennis, you're always trying to fix stuff.”
“Are you going to tell me that you didn't know I would do it?”
“No, I knew you would. Everybody else at school thinks you're a jerk like the rest of them, but I know better. Why do you show me your true self and keep it hidden to all those friends of yours when you're at school?”
I should be used to how brazen she talked, especially when it came to a conversation about me. I actually liked how I didn't have to wonder what she meant, because she spoke so plainly. Sometimes, though, I didn't want to hear it because maybe it was too close to the truth and I don't want to admit it.
“You know why.”
“Yeah, but at some point, Dennis, this reputation that you've made for yourself, this fake persona, what if that becomes who you really are?”
I don't know if she was being serious or not. One minute she was talking like that, and the next she asked me if I was ready to go for a run. I wasn't, honestly. I wanted to talk a little bit, after what happened earlier with me walking in on her like that in the locker room. I don't know why, but I wasn't just wanting to train tonight. I wanted to do something else. When I told her that, she asked me if I was up for playing the new PS5 game.
“No, it's nothing like that.”
“What are you talking about? What do you want to do then, if you don’t want to train or play games?”
“I don't know, I just thought that maybe we could, you know, talk or something.”
“Talk? I've had enough of that with Maria all day. She just made first string and won't shut up about it. I'm happy for her and all, but she wore my head out. Are you sure that you want to talk too?”
She was acting like I’d never asked her to have a conversation before. We talked about a lot of things, but it was always when we were doing something. We'd never just sat down and had a conversation. Maybe that's what I wanted, or maybe I had stuff on my mind that I wanted to get off my chest. With her looking at me, not saying anything but quietly demanding that I give her a clue as to what was going on, I knew that I wouldn't be able to say it. I didn't even know how it would be possible, the way things were.
“Never mind. I'm up for a run if you are.”
Kimberly agreed that she was, and she took off. Kimberly was actually faster than me, but tonight I couldn't let her beat me. Something inside of me tonight was spurring me on to go faster and for once, I mean once, I was able to beat her around the lap. By the second one, though, I’d lost her again and by the third one, she was running backward, encouraging me like I was a child.
I was the one that was supposed to be the personal trainer, the one that kept people going, but I was also the one that needed a little inspiration tonight. Kimberly had me so messed up in the head, I didn't know if I was coming or going half the time anymore.
When we stopped for a little while, she sat down on one of the old bleachers and handed me a bottle of water. When she realized that I always forgot it, she started bringing it for me, and now I never brought my own. It was little things like that that made my relationship with Kimberly different. I don't know how I’d become so relaxed with a woman, but I had a feeling it had a lot to do with the fact that she was always off limits in my mind. I knew that it wouldn't happen between us because she had told me plainly that it wouldn't.
I had tried to kiss her a month ago, and she had asked me why I was trying to ruin it. I told her that I wasn't trying to ruin it, I was trying to take a relationship to the next level, but she had made it quite clear that she had no desire for that. I should have known better, but then again, it was all to be expected.
What was unexpected was walking in on her, seeing every smooth curve of her supple body and not being able to say or do anything about it. That was pure madness and a little bit of torture on the side. How could I just be friends with her, knowing that she was everything that I wanted in a woman and more?
