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And why they were on the door handle of my bar when I got here.
“I just bought these two days ago, and I haven’t even worn them yet!”
My eyes fly right down to the ass of the five-foot-nothing brunette with a curvy body that dreams are made of, when she whirls away from me to scold a blonde teenager who was right on her heels when she walked in here, who can’t stop giggling. I’ve been numb for three months straight. I’m half dead on my feet after driving over twenty-three hours to get here. But picturing that swatch of fabric stretched between those perfect cheeks hugged tight in a pair of tattered jean shorts makes my heart start pumping again, sending all the blood in my body right to my dick.
“I do not have time for this shit, Penny!” the woman complains with a toss of her hands up in the air, echoing the same thoughts in my own head right now.
My eyes follow the thong that flops around in her hand like I’m a cat with a laser pointer, while visions of me ripping them off her body fill my head.
“What the fuck is going on?” I mutter, more than a little annoyed I’m turned on in the goddamn bar that started the chain of disastrous events that became my life.
One with entirely too many Halloween decorations in it, just pissing me off even more as a battery-operated ghost on a string hanging from the ceiling slides down into my line of sight. I smack it away with a curse before it rises right back up to the ceiling again, immediately feeling the need to apologize for some stupid reason when the woman gasps in horror like I just killed her dog.
After deciding to drive all the way here to try to clear my head instead of hopping on a plane, but just getting more and more aggravated with every mile I traveled, all I wanted to do when I got to town was crash in the cottage located behind the bar… which I guess I now own as well. Worry about this bullshit after a good night of sleep. I didn’t expect to find the town streets packed with people partying a little before midnight, or the Wicked Pub and Grub overflowing with patrons, all clamoring for the bartender to make them a glass of some orange shit with pieces of candy corn floating in it.
I cannot believe I own this ridiculous place… but not for long, hopefully.
“What areyouso grumpy about? I’m the one having a bad night. Calm down, big guy.”
The woman glances over her shoulder at me, andJesusshe’s a stunner. That bare shoulder peeking out of her oversized sweater makes my mouth water again for a taste of her skin. No one has ever told me to calm down before, probably too afraid I’ll reply with one of my fists. This woman makes me want to do whatever she asks, just so she’ll smile and not look so stressed out.
Jesus, get a grip, Ford.
I’ve got enough problems in my life right now, and this woman looks like she’d be nothing but another complication I don’t need. I have too much on my plate to care about why she’s having a bad night.
“That makes twelve! Only twenty-seven more pairs of your underwear to find,” Penny pipes up.
“Twenty-six,” another blonde teenager who looks like she could be Penny’s twin adds, appearing out of nowhere with a sly smile that is honestly fucking frightening. “We lost that pink satin pair with the red lips all over them when Mrs. Lear’s dog ate the crotch out of them, instead of keeping those things on his head like a good boy.”
Christ… pink underwear with lips on them….
That shouldn’t turn me on either, but it does. Picturing this Halloween firecracker in front of me wearing nothing but pink satin, sprawled in the middle of my bed while I run my tongue over every pair of red lips printed on them until she’s squirming and wet—
“Stop looking at her like that.”
My eyes fly up guiltily where they were glued to the brunette’s ass to find Penny glaring at me.
“Cut it out,” Brunette orders before giving me a sheepish smile over her shoulder, the pumpkins on her headband bobbing around with the turn of her head. “I apologize for my sister. She’s an asshole. I’ll just go ahead and also apologize for my cousin Ginger too, since they share a brain, and they’re both intent on ruining my life. I’m Sidney Tanner. You must be new here. Welcome to hell.”
I can’t help it. I snort. And Sidney smiles when I do, her cheeks stretching until a dimple pops in one of them, making my goddamn chest feel tight.
“He was staring at your ass,” Penny complains with an annoyed glare in my direction—which I have no problem returning for calling me out, the little shit. “She can have sex with you, because you’re hot, but she’s not allowed to fall in love, so don’t even get any ideas. Tanner rules.”
If I’d been sipping on one of the orange drinks everyone around me is chugging, I would have immediately started choking on it, wondering if this little blonde hellion’s evil powers also include reading minds.
“Can you two just behave foronce.” Sidney sighs, looking away from me again to put her hands on her hips as she scolds the two teenagers. “This is one of my favorite nights of the year, and I swear to God you get pleasure out of ruining it for me. I haven’t even gotten a pumpkin funnel cake yet, and the countdown is about to start. Instead of enjoying the fun with everyone else here, I’ve spent the last hour traipsing all over town, trying to find every piece of underwear I own that you two stole from my room, forcing me to go on the worst Easter egg huntever.I found some hanging from trees, I found two inside random mailboxes, and my second grade teacher, Mr. Nacarato, will probably never be able to look me in the eyes again after he had to get his ladder out of his garage and go up on his roof to retrieve a pair. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was to see that man holding my black boyshorts with a skull over the crotch andLet’s Boneprinted on the ass?”
Don’t youdarelook at her ass again and think about boning her, Ford.
“I’m skeeved out just thinking about people finding them before me and putting their disgusting hands all over them.” Sidney shivers with a grimace, making me clench my hands into fists—that were all over a pair—before I put them on her and show her just how disgusting they can be.
“All three of you are entirely too young to be in this fucking bar,” I decide to mutter, not even caring if I sound like an asshole. My dick is already hard enough to pound nails. I don’t need to hear another word about this woman’s underwear collection to make it even worse or find out why she’s not allowed to fall in love with me… becauseI don’t fucking care.
Crossing my arms in front of me, Sidney slowly turns to face me with a quirk of one eyebrow.
“I’m not a child, big guy. I’m twenty.”
Stop liking it when she calls you big guy.
