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“Oh, poor Bob!” Christie Liuzzo cries from the front row. “His wee-wee got chopped off when he was doing a handstand.”
“How does your handstand look, Ford?” Avocado Phil shouts from behind the table.
“He’ll work on it,” Sidney reassures everyone with a thumbs-up.
“What the hell are you doing?” Sidney just grins when I scowl at her, while everyone in the room cheers as the mayor happily jots my name down on a piece of paper. I might be more agreeable now about being in a Halloween-obsessed town, but that doesn’t mean I want to partake in all the activities, and she knows it. “Is this because you’re pissed I said no to the slap shot thing?”
“Oh, it’s about a wholebunchof things,” she speaks through a smile of clenched teeth, not clearing anything up at all.
“Ashley Conticelli had to go out of town last minute to take care of her sick mother in Florida, so we’re going to need someone else to be in charge of the pumpkin carving event this year.”
“Right here!” Sidney immediately shouts in answer to the mayor, grabbing my hand and lifting it in the air again, giggling without shame when a whole bunch of expletives fly out of my mouth.
I’ve never participated in the ridiculous pumpkin carving event the entire town goes crazy over. I only go because Sidney drags me there every year. And I only stay to make sure she doesn’t chop off a finger.
“You’re so awesome, man.” Kenny leans forward in his seat behind me to pat me on the shoulder, while a chanting of my name starts somewhere in the back corner.
“Are you enjoying this?” I mutter, yanking my wrist out of her hold and leaning to the other side of my chair so she doesn’t get any more ideas about volunteering me for more shit I don’t want to do.
“Immensely.” She grins at me, and even though it’s at my own expense, it suddenly makes it hard to swallow.
“The next order of business,” the mayor speaks loudly, “is for someone to volunteer to keep an eye on the Tanner women and make sure everything runs smoothly this year. I’d like to not have a repeat of the corn maze incident from last year.”
Penny and Ginger immediately start giggling, while Sidney shoots an irritated glare at the avocado at the front of the room.
“You have got to be kidding me. We don’t need a babysitter,” she mutters, while heads nod and murmurs of agreement go around the room, and Penny jumps up from her seat.
“A cheater who ingests cookies baked with laxatives and loses control of his bowels running through a corn maze is still a cheater. Case closed,” she informs everyone.
“Allegedly!” Sidney quickly shouts to the room, letting out a nervous laugh as she grabs Penny’s arm and yanks her back down into her seat. “Allegedlyingested laxative-laced cookies! It could have been bad shrimp or….”
“No, it was definitely the cookies that made Frank Wilson spray paint the corn maze with shit.” Ginger leans over and laughs after Sidney trailed off, thankfully saying this information under her breath so Sidney doesn’t panic any more than she already is.
“I volunteer for that as well!” I quickly shoot my hand up in the air without the help of Sidney this time.
“Thank God. I don’t need another garage burned down.” Kenny’s mom smiles and waves at me, and I smile and wave right back with my free hand.
“No, he doesn’t!” Sidney argues, shooting me a furious glance as she reaches up and pulls my arm down. “What are you doing? I’m perfectly fine keeping an eye on everyone, just like always. This is not something that needs an official volunteer on record. It’s not your job.”
It’s been my job for six years, and it’s adorable she’s forgotten that in her rage.
“You’re so eager for me to volunteer for fun things around here; I figured I might as well help out the city of Harvest Grove with everything.” I grin at her, which makes her huff out an annoyed breath that her plan of trying to irritate me backfired.
“Oh good, Ford!” The mayor claps before pointing his pen at me. “I was hoping you would volunteer, since you already spend so much time with Sidney.”
“No, he doesn’t!” she tries to argue, which just makes everyone in the room laugh, including her own family. She spends every damn minute with me the entire month of October, with the exception of the last twenty-one hours, and everyone knows it. They also know she’s fucking mine. If anyone else tried to volunteer for the job, I would ruin them. “And he’s not going to be this year either.”
“The hell I’m not.”
“Cut it out, Ford. We don’t need a babysitter. You have a bar you should be busy checking on while you’re here, remember?” Sidney glares even harder, and it just makes me smile even bigger.
She doesn’t even realize her fighting me on everything is just a great big fucking turn-on. I like seeing her stand up to something that pisses her off, even if the thing currently pissing her off is me. It gives me hope that if she can do it with me, she can damn well start doing it with her family.
I lean in closer to her until I can smell her pumpkin and spice skin, while the mayor continues looking for volunteers for other Harvest Grove events.
“If you think I’m not going to do everything I can to keep you out of that tiny fucking room you can’t breathe in, for people who don’t even see how selfless you are or appreciate it, then you haven’t been paying attention very well. I’m the only one who gets that job,ever.”
“What are doing?” Sidney whispers with a confused shake of her head but not making any move to pull back from me.
