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All of that happiness turns to shit eventually. Resentment and blame. Lies and sneaking around. Tears and anguish, planning funerals instead of planning for the future, a life filled with anger and distrust instead of joy and love. It doesn’t last. This feeling won’t last. Especially when he’ll be gone in a few weeks….
Pushing Ford away from me is quite possibly the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My heart clenches when at the first feel of me struggling against him, flattening my hand against his chest, Ford immediately rips himself away from me without a second of hesitation, taking a couple of stumbling steps back on the porch with his hands up in the air.
“I can’t… I can’t….”
I can’t do this.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t think straight.
I can’t even finish that sentence with the way I’m panting so hard and the way Ford is looking at me right now. The raw look of hunger that overtook his features quickly changes into one of worry as his eyes frantically search my face, and my heart starts knocking around in my chest again.
“It’s too much.”
My head shakes even while my body is screaming at me to grab onto him and pull him back against me again, let him kiss away every thought and worry until there’s no room left in my brain for anything else but him.
Until November 1st, when he ghosts me again.
I take it back. Turning and walking away from Ford, leaving him standing on the porch looking like I just ran over his dog as I race down the steps…that’sthe hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Chapter 11
Sidney
“Trick or Treat, you littleshits.”
“…and then Igot the hell out of there like a smart woman, hightailed it home, and made a list of all the reasons why it will never happen again. See? I told you it was no big deal.”
Callie remains silent behind me as I walk a few more feet along the sidewalk, stopping to hand over a box of Severed Head Succulents to Nicky, who’s sitting at her table outside the general store.
“Ralph said you needed some fresh ones, since the plants that didn’t get sold yet started to die,” I tell her, waving to the owner of the general store through the window as he rings out a customer inside.
“How’s Ford? Did he say anything about the apple fritters I made him?”
Grinding my teeth as the memory of Ford taking a bite out of Nicky’s stupid apple fritter at the town meeting flashes through my mind, I plop the box down on the table in front of her.
“Pretty sure they made him sick. He hurled for hours. Can I have my money please?”
Overkill? Yes. Necessary? Also yes.
“That’s weird,” Nicky mutters, grabbing an envelope from the table with my name on it and putting it into my waiting hand. “I ate a few from that batch, and I was fine.”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Nicky.” I shrug, sighing when I open the envelope and only see twenty-five dollars inside. At this rate, it’s going to take me a year to pay Kenny for my current fines.Shit! I keep forgetting to pay Kenny for my current fines.“It was like something right out ofThe Exorcist.Fritter vomit spewing everywhere. It wasn’t pretty.”
“I just don’t understand it,” Nicky continues to shake her head in confusion.
Maybe if you spent more time selling my succulents instead of worrying about baking for Ford, this fake food poisoning wouldn’t have happened,Nicky!
“It’s probably just a stomach bug that’s going around.” She nods with a smile as I turn and start walking away from her table before I swipe everything off it. “Tell Ford I’ll make him some homemade chicken noodle soup and drop it off soon!”
God. Damn. It.
“See? This is one of the reasons on the list why it will never happen again, because….” I trail off when I realize Callie isn’t walking next to me.
Stopping in front of the costume store, I look back over my shoulder to find her right where I left her, a few feet away from Nicky’s table. With her mouth still dropped open wide and her body absolutely still as she holds my extra box of severed head planters in her arms that she’s helping me drop off this morning. She’s completely immobile, like she’s in the middle of a game of freeze tag, waiting for me to tap her on the arm and bring her back to life.
So I march back toward her on the sidewalk and smack the side of her arm.
