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“I cannotbelieveyou would keep something like this from me!”
My shout makes all the heads in the Wicked Pub and Grub turn in my direction as I stomp through the place and right up to the bar.
Marcus lets out a deep sigh, flipping the bar towel he was using up onto his shoulder.
“Thank God you finally know everything. This shit was starting to give me an ulcer.” He smiles at me as he leans forward and rests his hands on the bar, the orange, battery-powered lights in his black bowtie flashing rapidly. “Listen, none of this was my idea. I was just the accomplice, so you need to be on my side when Callie finds everything out. You ready for the last surprise?”
“What are you talking about? Why doesn’t your wife know you paid my fines for October Eve this year? I love you for doing it, but you can’t afford it. Are you crazy? I already told Kenny to take your credit card off my file and reverse the charges. Also, oh my God, Callie is going to kill you.”
My laughter dies when Marcus lets out a groan, closing his eyes and dropping his head forward. “Fuck. Youdon’tknow everything,” he mutters.
“Know what? What don’t I know?”
Marcus slowly lifts his head back up. “I was under the impression you would know all of this when you came to me. He didn’t come right out and say that, but it was definitely implied. Now I’m going to have to seriously reconsider those matching T-shirts I got us for Halloween,” Marcus complains, while I wonder what would happen if I punched this man in the face.
I’d probably break my hand.
Could be worth it.
“Can I interest you in possibly turning around, walking right back out of here, and pretending like you still know nothing, so I don’t have to be the one to do this?” he pleads.
“Can I interest you in one of Penny’s shivs through your larynx? I wouldn’t have to pretend. I still know nothing. Spit it out already! What are you an accomplice for, and what the hell is going on?”
Marcus looks over to the door, scrubs one of his hands over the top of his shaved head, and then lets out a loud breath of air that makes his lips flap.
“Eh, fuck it. My wife is never going to let me touch her again when she finds out anyway. Might as well go down in a blaze of glory.”
He pauses to rub the top of his head again.
“Any day now,” I growl.
“I’ve been holding this shit in for six years. Give me a minute, okay? This isn’t all about you.” Marcus pauses. “Okay, fine, it is, but it’s also about the safety and security of my penis. I cannot believe after all this,I’mthe one spilling the beans. You two should really learn how to communicate. It’s the key to any successful relationship.”
“Marcus!” I shout.
“Fine! At least now I can finally be free from the burdens placed upon my soul.” He sighs dramatically while I make ahurry-upmotion with my hand. “It’s Ford, not me. It’s my credit card on file, but he pays the bills. Oh myGod, that felt so good to say out loud! Someone give me a high-five!”
Our waitress Pammy immediately obliges and steps right up to Marcus with her hand in the air, while my stomach drops right down to my feet.
“You’re still not paying attention, are you?”
“Since when?” I whisper, wishing Ford’s voice would get out of my head.
“Uh, since the beginning.” Marcus laughs.
“Bullshit. I’ve paid my fines in the last six years.”
“Have you though?”
Crossing my arms in front of me, I glare at him.
“Yes. I have taken money out of my savings account, walked into the sheriff’s station, and paid the balance. It’s a very painful process that involves a lot of ice cream and screaming. You can ask Kenny. He’s told me to keep the screaming down because it scares him. And he’s happily taken all of my money every single time.”
He always acts a little weird about it, but still….
Marcus just blinks at me.
“Okay, fine. I haven’t exactly remembered to pay himeverytime. Sometimes it slips my mind. Sometimes I don’t have enough money in my account, and I cross my fingers Kenny just kind of forgets.”
