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“I planned on telling you all that. Everything. I was gonna have you come here, show you the house, and then tell you everything. Fuck. This happened backward.”
Sidney laughs softly again, dropping her arms from around herself and taking a step toward me. Then she stops, fiddling with the hem of her dress on her thighs, completely killing me with the need to close the distance so I can finally put my hands on her.
“Marcus also said we need to work on our communication skills.”
Taking another deep breath, I rub the back of my neck and give her a sheepish smile. “About that… Penny and Ginger spilled all your secrets tomelast night.”
Her mouth drops open, and I watch her face get as white as her dress for a few seconds before she relaxes. Her clenched shoulders fall, and she just shakes her head.
“Do I even want to know what they told you—which they onlythinkthey know about me?”
“That your last fling was six years ago.”
The widening of Sidney’s eyes tells me she knows they don’t justthinkthey know things about her.
“Oh God, the gym teacher,” she mutters with a grimace. “He never took his whistle off.”
I’d like to laugh at the image those words bring to my mind, but she’s thinking about a time she was with another man, and that’s not funny. Even if it was six years ago, and it happened because she felt some kind of way about me. Even if it was the worst experience of her life—like I’m going to keep telling myself.
Moving along.
“That you miss me all the time when I’m not here. That you’re nowhere close to a fling type of woman. That you feel some kind of way about me all the time, every month, every year, and not just in October, just like me. But you’re too scared to admit it.”
Sidney’s hand comes up to her throat, and her eyes flicker away from mine for a few seconds before coming back.
“Jesus, they reallydoknow everything,” she mutters, making my scalp prickle and my hands get sweaty that she’s not denying what they said.
“I added the scared part.”
“I’m sure they knew it was implied. Very perceptive of you,” she replies cheekily before shaking her head as her hand drops to her side. “No wonder they run a private investigation business. You can’t put anything past them.”
“I was supposed to give you a message from them, but… no.”
“Well, now you have to give it to me,” Sidney orders, but I just shake my head. “What if I want it?” She grins at me, and I realize some of Penny and Ginger’s diabolical nature has rubbed off on her.
It turns me on so much I feel lightheaded. But I still let out a heaving sigh before I repeat the text message Penny sent me this morning, of what I was supposed to say to her sister if and when I ever used the information they gave me.
“‘Suck on this, bitch. Trick or Treat Champions for life. Eat our asses.’”
Sidney throws her head back and laughs instead of searching around for a knife to either lodge in my throat or go racing out the door with to jam into one of her family members. I’m not sure if she’s laughing at how ridiculous the message is, or my completely flat, monotone voice upon delivery. I’m just glad she’s laughing and not crying. Or running away, scared of what’s happening, and afraid of what this all means.
“God, we suck at this,” Sidney says when her laughter dies off.
I finally take a few steps across the kitchen, stopping when I can finally breathe in the smell of her skin but shoving my hands in the pockets of my jeans. I know if I put them on her right now, even if it’s just for a hug, I won’t be able to stop until she’s naked in this kitchen where I’ve dreamed about her standing for six years. And she needs to hear the rest of this first.
“I don’t want a fucking fling with you.”
My heart feels like it’s in my throat when she’s silent for entirely too long. She slowly turns her head, looking out into the huge empty living room in the new open floorplan of the house, her eyes stopping on the stupid leaf garland I hung on the new fireplace mantle because I thought she’d like it. Her head keeps going, pausing to look out the front windows into the front yard, taking in the view of all of the jack-o-lanterns you can see from here. Right when I’m about ready to come out of my goddamn skin, her eyes finally make their way back to mine.
“Yeah, I think I got that memo.” Sidney cocks her head at me with a nervous look on her face that cracks my chest wide open. “You’re right; I’ve been scared. I didn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t get what you were trying to tell me all this time. I thought you just,poof,suddenly wanted me this year.”
“I’ve wanted youeveryyear, from the minute I met you.” Her hand comes up to rest against her throat again, and she quickly blinks back her tears. “I had to stay in Oregon to get Prescott Lumber back to where it was. It took six fucking years, and I hated every minute of it, because it kept me away from you. It’s finally done, and I signed everything over to my family before I came here. I’m not leaving you again. I should have said more. I should have talked to you about more than trees and logging equipment.”
Sidney laughs, quickly swiping away a tear that fell. With a sigh, she drops her hand to her side once again.
“I probably wouldn’t have listened.” She shrugs. “Especially not six years ago. You having to constantly leave made me miss you, and I think I needed that. I think I needed you to take your time and show me.”
Since I just can’t stand it any longer, I reach my hand up and brush a long strand of hair off her forehead and tuck it behind her ear.
