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“Hell yes, there are,” Lena said, ringing up the coffee. “I just made a batch so you can have a hot one.”
Grace groaned. “You know my weakness.”
“Yes, I do.”
“I’ll grab it,” I said with a smile. They were all cooling on a rack in the kitchen. They made the place smell amazing. Lucas had been right when he’d told me that these were the best baked goods around. I could tell that, and I hadn’t been anywhere else in town yet.
I picked one up, grateful that they were cool. Lena had tried to tempt me into the kitchen to help with the baking, but she hadn’t pushed me when I’d told her that ovens made me nervous. Ovens. Hot water. Stoves. Fire. Anything that could burn. I dealt with it when I had to but avoided it when I could.
The yawn hit me as I came out of the kitchen—they’d been catching me all day. Staying up half the night looking at stars and then lying awake for hours after that hadn’t been great for my energy level today. But maybe I would get a good night’s sleep tonight.
“Damn, girl,” Lena said. “You okay? You’ve been yawning all over the place.”
“I’m fine,” I said as I handed Grace the cookie in a paper sleeve. “Just didn’t get that much sleep last night.”
“I hope it was the fun kind of getting no sleep,” Grace said. “That makes it all worth it.”
The blush was instantaneous, and any chance they wouldn’t notice was gone.
“Oh my gosh, what happened?” Grace placed her elbows on the counter and propped her chin in her hands like she was ready for story time.
“It’s nothing.”
Grace snorted mid sip. “Sure. It’s nothing, all right.”
“I... okay.” I recapped my excursion to the roof with Lucas while they stared at me with their mouths open. I skipped over the part where I freaked out and left and just said we parted ways. “See? It’s nothing.”
“Is it though?” Lena asked.
“Yes.” I sighed. “I think he feels responsible for me. He wanted to make sure everything was okay when he came to see why my lights were on. It’s not like he came over with the intention of taking me stargazing.”
“Who knows?” Grace’s face was a sneaky grin. “Maybe that’s exactly what his intention was.”
“It wasn’t.” I looked down at my hands, pushing aside the regrets I had about leaving and ignoring the way my body felt when remembering it. I couldn’t ignore the calmness that filled me when I was in his presence. And they wouldn’t understand how tempting that was. But my stomach fluttered when I thought about Lucas now, and I hadn’t decided if that was terrifying or amazing. It was all too confusing. And confusion could get me killed.
Lena put her hand on my shoulder. “We’re only teasing, Evie. But if it ever turns into not nothing I better be the first person to know. Got it?”
“Got it,” I said, laughing. She would in fact kick my ass if I kept it from her. Lena was like that. Barely a week of friendship, and she was all in. And it made me want to be that way too.
A glinting reflection caught my eye across the street through the windows. A man walking, hands in his pockets, like nothing in the world mattered.
The ground disappeared underneath me, and I was on the floor. All the air was gone, my lungs on fire. Why couldn’t I breathe? Why was I burning? Pain flared up my arms and stretched across my back like a familiar, brutal caress.
No.
He couldn’t be here. He couldn’t have found me already. It wasn’t possible. There was nothing on the grid since Albuquerque except the emails to Melanie. And I had done everything I could to keep those anonymous. Was that enough?
But that was him. Was it him? Was I seeing things now?
My heart pounded in my ears, every beat sending more panic through my veins. Terror was cold. It froze you in place and weighed you down and rendered you helpless. I’d spent forever trying not to let terror get the best of me, but I couldn’t move.
Voices came from somewhere. Grace and Lena asking if I was all right. But there was no way I could respond to them. Not with vines of adrenaline climbing up from the floor and tangling with my limbs. Holding me down.
I was bound in the dark. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to breathe. He’s coming back. He’s going to do it again. What other parts of myself would I have to hide under clothes once he got his hands on me?
Pain flared along with my skin, springing to life through memories so real that I would never forget them. Ever. And he wouldn’t stop, he wouldn’t stop, he wouldn’t stop—
Hands touched me, and I fought back. I wouldn’t let it happen. This time I would fight. I was telling him to stop. Telling him no. But he wasn’t fighting back. Good. A hand caught my wrist, not doing anything but holding it. Gently. Firmly.
